Dr. Stan and Jonathan declined the invite to join Hector at the Lahori Dera (433 Cheetham Hill Rd, Manchester, M8 OPF). They had both been before, how could they resist? Steve on his first Trip to Manchester was definitely up for it. As we assembled at Piccadilly Station after our day in Sheffield, Craig declared that he was hungry. He and Yvonne would join us. This made the taxi fare up to Cheetham Hill more affordable, Hector was going regardless.
Knowing that Saturday nights can be busy, I phoned ahead and booked a table, Hector’s arrival was thus announced.
The Tractor remains at the doorway, how long would this last in other cities? Cue a photo. There was a Crowd in the private room to the left as we walked in through the vestibule, Families and Children, best isolated. The main room was about a quarter full. Mein Host greeted us and marched us to the top end of the room, a table for four next to the Stage. My Three Co-diners had never seen a venue like this. There was a sense that this would be an experience.
Mein Host brought the Menus which are still Broadsheet Newspapers, half written in a language that meant nothing to us. The question of the Water had to be raised.
Are you still going to charge us for Water? – I asked. Not you – was the reply. I asked for a Bottle of Sparkling Water, this I expect to pay for. Poppadoms and Dips would be provided. These came in a flash, Mango Chutney Sauce and Spiced Onions. A Litre Bottle came too, not the fliptops but the sealed variety. The Water was poured, no bubbles. Hector had negotiated a Bottle of Still Water.
Despite my preference for on-the-bone, I waived this to enhance Steve’s enjoyment. We would share a Kilo of Lamb Karahi (£25.00). No bones, how could we eat that much? Craig and Yvonne had to study the Large Menu, a Starter to share and Mains. A Seekh Kebab with Chilli Chicken Masala was the order across the table. Craig would ask for a Mild Curry. Ask for whatever you desire – was my instruction, they can surely cook whatever you ask for.
Having seen the Kulcha last night at Lal Qila, Steve was keen to try one. Craig too was on board with this, something different, Rice too for across the table.
Mein Host came to take the order, I made my usual statements about Seasoning and Methi. He insisted that Methi is not part of this Dish, I accepted the advice. I know what is served here is at the top end of the Pleasure Spectrum, let’s not interfere. Lamb for us, Chicken for them. Craig insisted he wanted something – Light. Chicken Curry, when will people learn?
The comings and goings within the room were a sufficient distraction. Time passed very quickly whilst The Chefs at the far end of the room in the Open Kitchen were set to work. The Seekh Kebab arrived.
Normally a Portion is Two, this was Three and each was 50% larger than the Norm. How to eat a Main Course after this?
Craig insisted we sample the Seekh, this indeed worth a sample. Light in colour suggested Chicken. Very Spicy, help yourself – said Craig. We did. Craig enthused, – the flavour’s fantastic. That’s bloody good. Success.
The Chilli Chicken Masalas started to arrive before the Seekh Kebabs were finished, not as should be. A Basket of three halved Kulcha accompanied, these were remarkable. Much Thicker than those served in The Curry Mile, and covered in Sesame Seeds, these were Substantial. A new Standard has been set. The Mancunian Standard?
The Steve and Hector Curry was served on the Large Flat Metal Karahi. This is a Kilo? We’ll have no problem with this.
The Lamb was Magnificent, Dry does not even do this Dish justice. The Minimal Masala shrouded the Meat. First The Kick registered, then The Seasoning. This was going to be a memorable Curry.
The lack of red brought Waris’ White, or Namkeen, Karahi to mind. Where were Howard and Tracey? At The Marble Arch with Jonathan. The Kulcha was used as a Base for the Lamb then used to mop up the Masala Residue on the Karahi. A Portion had been decanted to the Plate, once devoured an identical sized Portion replaced it. I signalled to Steve that I was approaching my limit. Still there was Curry left. Defeat was staring at us.
Meanwhile Craig, with knife and fork in hand, was employing his best Edinburgh Table Manners to tackle his Chicken on-the-bone. Fruitless at times. It became apparent quickly that the Chilli Chicken Masala was – OK – nothing special. Yvonne found it to be – very salty. There was hope. Hector-the-Magnanimous spooned some of the Surplus Karahi on to Yvonne’s and Craig’s plates. Craig was instantly impressed. This was within his Spice Tolerance, the Flavours were appreciated. That was the end of The Karahi, abandon the Chicken.
Two out of Three – was Craig’s verdict. The Seekh Kebab and the Karahi were Excellent, the Chicken not impressive. Chicken Curry?
The Bill
£50.10. Half of this was One Dish. Prog Curry?
The Aftermath
Tonight Three more Weegies have experienced the Lahori Dera. Hopefully more visitors to Manchester will flock here. Mein Host informed me that business is growing steadily. The Karahi served here is Truly Special.
Mein Host arranged a taxi to take us back to the Northern Quarter and a rendezvous with Jonathan at 57 Thomas St. Craig and Yvonne continued to the Ibis. For them the night was over. Steve and Hector still had some catching up to do.
I hope to return to the Lahori Dera in September as a Lone Diner. Will they serve me Half a Kilo?
