There was nearly a Curry-Heute in Portsmouth, instead Hector ate one of the Blandest Meals ever. Steak and Kidney Pie, people enjoy this? Fortunately Lord Clive had plans for a change of Curry Venue in Crawley. We have been to The Downsman frequently of late, time to try the latest addition to the Crawley Curry Scene – Spice Indian Kitchen & Bar (5 Grand Parade, High Street, Crawley, RH10 1BU). The last time we were on these premises was during the infamous period of the Ash Cloud, then it was the Saffron Lounge. 
We had to come back from Deutschland over land then sea. This was the very early days of Curry-Heute. The Taj Mahal was the intended venue that night, we still haven’t been there. The Saffron Lounge is no more though the branding remains inside, so do the plates. 
The Menu is still the Saffron Lounge’s though the Young Waiter did show us the cover for what will be the Menu for Spice. The Saffron Lounge was always empty I’m told. Only five other diners were present during our visit this evening. Still quiet, despite its central position on the High St.
Maggie decided she was having a Starter – Garlic Chilli Gobi so this led us all to consider this. Clive went for the Seekh Kebab, Chapli and Shami were not available. Marg ordered one Poppadom (60p) even though she knows my contempt for venues which charge for these. Mango Chutney would accompany, another £1.00. Eh?
At the last minute I decided to share a Lamb Tikka (£5.00) with Marg.
The Mains would be easy –Karahi Gosht but with Potato replacing the unwelcome Capsicum. Mein Host was puzzled by this.
It will change the nature of the dish.
Exactly.
I had to make the point that this Invasive Ballast is not part of the Cuisine of the Indian Subcontinent. He finally agreed and said Green Chillies are used in India, not Capsicum.
Let’s have them too. A Tawa Paratha (£2.95) would accompany, described as – layered whole wheat bread..
Marg chose the Kashmir Rogan Josh with a single Chapatti (60p). Clive, abandoned his usual Dansak and selected Chicken Achari. Maggie went for the Lamb Dansak which was described as Sweet and Sour, strange. They would share a Mushroom Pilau, Clive added an Aloo Paratha.
And so we waited…
It took an age for the Starters to arrive. We began to speculate as to whether they were cooking the Food on the premises or had sent out for it. There is a Takeaway around the corner called Spice World. Clive also mentioned the mysterious Kitchen in the car park immediately behind Spice from where taxis deliver all over Crawley. We would investigate later.
Two Poppadoms arrived, Marg made the point of eating only one. Clive had what looked like three halves of Seekh Kebab, not the usual Pair. Maggie’s Garlic Chilli Gobi looked Minimal. It was also of the scale of Spice tolerance. Too hot for me – was her verdict. Clive had to step in – Quite fiery.
Cooling Yoghurt was provided, Maggie was able to continue. She felt that the Cauliflower should have been served more towards al dente, not in the – squashy – manner presented.
When the Lamb Tikka was placed on the table, Hector was gobsmacked. I called the Waiter. What is this? Three pieces of Meat for £5.00?
It’s the price on the menu – I was assured.
The price on the menu does not determine the portion size, take this back.
I should have done this in Paris three days ago. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Hector was hungry. Had we gone to The Downsman I would be sharing Two Portions of Lamb Chops.
Fortunately the Karahi Gosht lived up to expectation. Eight, possibly more, pieces of Lamb and a decent portion of Potato made up the Solid Mass. The Masala was not over-abundant and was Tomato rich. The Green Chillies gave the extra bite. This was better than anything eaten in Paris.
The Waiter had to inspect both Parathas when he brought them so as to tell which was the stuffed one. This must say something about the quantity of Potato in the Aloo Paratha. The Tawa Paratha was fine, a bit on the thin side with a hint of flakiness. I managed to eat three of the quarters. Just as well I had no Starter.
Marg’s Rogan Josh was certainly Red and Tomato-rich also.
Plenty of meat, which could have been more tender, but enjoyable.
Maggie too found her Lamb to be less Tender than hoped for.
Meat was OK, but not falling apart. It didn’t blow my head off, the full lentil experience.
The Chicken Achari was well received. I am quite pleased with that. I wasn’t aware of chillies in the spices. It was pickled chicken.
The Bill
£72.70. This was examined carefully. The Lamb Tikka Starter was not there. Only one Poppadom was charged too.
The Aftermath
The Calling Card was given, Mein Host was scrutinising it. However, Hector was sent across the road to Brewery Shades. It was 22.55, was it time for Last Orders?
The Car Park
Clive took Hector to the rear of Spice to investigate all goings on Curry. The camera was flashing away when a Chap appeared from the darkness. This was Naz who of course knew Lord Clive. Pukka Hakka has closed, Chapati Junction is the Source of Curry. Had they supplied our meal this evening? No. But I was told that Spice is owned by the same people as the aforementioned Taj Mahal.
Naz has promised Desi cooking next time I am down in Crawley. Where has yet to established.
Naz – the Sunday or Monday of the August Bank Holiday – please!
Then the fire engine arrived.
The Spice Indian Kitchen & Bar had an issue. Had someone just tried the Garlic Chilli Gobi?