easyJet admitted the flight to Gatwick was delayed by forty five minutes only after Marg and Hector had passed through security at Glasgow Airport. Lord Clive of Crawley had made me aware of the delay some six hours previously. Hovering over Brighton delayed us further, the pilot told lies by saying nothing. We were not about to land.
Lady Maggie pulled up in the Mercedes Benz at the North Terminal just as we emerged, the Bus Tour of Gatwick Airside had delayed us further. I was not a Happy Hector.
Lord Clive had a plan, as with August Bank Holiday, this Bank Holiday Weekend means a Beer Festival at the Surrey Oaks, Newdigate. We were whisked past Stanhill Court where our Hosts were married, into the depths of Surrey. Driving along Parkgate Road, there was a less than subtle clue as to – An Event – occurring. Cars were parked along both sides of the road for about 500m, what chance getting into a car park? Somehow Lady Maggie, with proximity alarms working overtime, managed to wedge the Jalopy into the only available space in the Raj Ali (Parkgate Rd, Newdigate, Dorking, Surrey RH5 5DZ) car park. Ale, thought Hector, perhaps we should book a table for later out of politeness, after all we are in the car park of the Curry House.
Hector was snapping everything, but was summoned by both Hers Indoors – We have a table. Despite the throng across the street in the Pub Gardens, the Ali Raj was only half full. Hector’s Happiness was on the increase. Having consulted a well known and reliable Website earlier in the day, the Ada Gosht had to be the Curry of choice this evening. This Dish impressed greatly last August, a Hector Curry with a prominent Citrus Flavour. Last time, Maggie overdosed on Starters and Sides, the Curry suffered. Once again, Maggie was starving.
Drinks
Water, Various and a Pint of Cobra were ordered, they took a while.
Poppadoms?
At 70p a pop, Clive and Hector were not playing, plus the same again for The Bits. The Curry-Heute Campaign must be enforced. Three Poppadoms for the Two Ladies. The Dips included Mango Chutney Sauce and Lime Pickle, the latter looked aggressive.
*
Can we order?
No!
Service is not something that features often in Curry-Heute, Service is not usually an issue. Service is what is expected. Spoiler Alert!
Long after the Poppadoms were finished, The Waiter came to take the order, and only after I had asked emphatically once more – Can we order please?
Marg, Clive and Hector ordered Ada Gosht (£9.60) – Aromatic Lamb cooked with yoghurt, ginger and coriander flavoured with herbs and spices – as ever, the Hector Caveat was added. Chapati (£1.50) for Marg, Subji Paratha (£2.80) for Hector and Keema Paratha (£2.90, not on the Menu?) for Clive. For Maggie: Lamb Biriani (£10.95) and Saag Aloo (£3.95), I was already looking forward to sampling the Excess.
At 21.55, Maggie noted that we had been here an hour, VDT! Clive was uncertain as to when Festivities across the road would cease, we were in – the Sticks. Shortly after 22.00 the Ada Gosht cascaded across the table accompanied by the Vegetable Paratha and the Chapatti. The Keema Paratha would follow, it did, ten minutes later. Maggie’s Feast was assembled. The Heart-shaped Rice impressed, but where was the Lamb? Biryani, as served in the UK, is usually accompanied by a Masala.
It transpired that Maggie had been given a Vegetable Curry to accompany a Vegetable Biryani. The Saag Aloo only added to the confusion, how many Vegetables? As last visit, Maggie had a Curry plus Two. Bring it on.
The Parathas
The Subji Paratha was presented – Quartered – why? I gave Clive one piece so that he could get started on his Ada Gosht. Too flat for a Stuffed Paratha, with no chance of Flakiness, not the best. When the Keema Paratha finally arrived it was seen to be in the Donner Category. The Parathas were a sensible size, for once I managed to finish what was served.
Not so Wonderful
Today the Lamb Pieces were not so numerous, but were suitably Large. Tender to Chewy, Marg actually remarked on this first. Under-seasoned and Under-spiced, where was the Citrus Blast? Lacking in Flavour was Hector’s take, though Marg said she did taste – Lemon. Clive ate without comment, he was neither up nor down. The retained Condiments were put to use, the Lime Pickle was mixed in to the far away half of my Ada Gosht, now I have a Blast, a Pity I had to resort to this.
Marg heaped two Pieces of Lamb on top of my remaining Masala Mash, then came the Saag Aloo Surplus.
Last time the Seasoning in the Saag Aloo was notable, not this evening, a Bland Offering. Has the Chef changed since last August?
Approaching 22.30, Clive was mindful that the Opperchancity for Ale was diminishing. The Ladies sent us across the road to the Surrey Oaks, they would take care of…
The Bill
£55.40. Being billed for the Lamb Biryani, rather than reduce The Bill, Maggie was given a Lamb Curry to Takeaway. Fair enough.
The Aftermath
Two Bier, or not Two Bier.