The existence of an Afghan Restaurant in Crawley was brought to Clive’s attention a year or so back in a local rag – The Best Restaurant in West Sussex – it claimed. Had Clive been exposed previously to Afghan Cuisine he would have made a beeline. The Khyber opened in Glasgow in 2011 but only survived a couple of years, a poor location, no passing trade. The food was always cooked – Fresh – to order. The Dum Pukt was first seen here, however, it was the Afghan Interpretation of Lamb Karahi which impressed The Hector so much. It was also at The Khyber that eating – the half kilo – became a Standard, Karahi was only offered in multiples thereof.
Marg arrived at Fat Boy’s Joint (8 The Broadway, Crawley RH10 1DS, England) at 12.30 and texted to say she had – booked us a table. Eh? Our flight home was at 16.00, leaving soon after 13.30 was the plan. At least the Bus Stop is immediately outside Fat Boy’s Joint.
Clive and Hector arrived at 12.45, Mein Host had engaged Marg. Who knows what Marg had said prior to our arrival, but we were about to be given the Service Royale.
Do you have Dum Pukt? I asked before I had sat down. The reply was positive, but Marg had already stated that I have would be having the Karahi. My initial fear was that Fat Boy’s Joint would be little more than a Kebap House. The Menu certainly featured a fair number of Burgers. The Chapli Kebab was unknown to Clive. Have you not had this in Glasgow?
Mein Host was back to assist. I described my preference for Thick and Minimal Masala, he admitted the Dum Pokht, as written here, was served in a – Broth. Hector does not desire Soup. The advantage of hindsight shows how much of a – Stew – the version was as served at The Khyber.
The Namak Mandai Karahi – made in the style of the famous salt markets of Peshawar – is served in quarter, half and full portions at £10.00, £19.00, and £36.00 respectively. I assumed this was per kilo, however, a footnote on the Menu caused confusion. either way: Expensive, or Very Expensive. In Glasgow and Manchester Curry Houses, Lamb Karahi is around £24.00 per kilo! I confirmed that Namak Mandai which sounded like – Namkeen – was not dissimilar. The Namkeen, or Salt Karahi is served at Glasgow’s Yadgar at appreciably less than charged here. Tomatoes, Garlic and Ginger – as with Yadgar, the Masala in this Karahi is without Onions, a fact I am still coming to terms with. The £10.00 Portion was ordered, I took advice on the Accompaniment. It had to be Bread, the Sourdough Naan Breads featured a Chilli Naan at £2.50.
Marg’s first announcement was Moroccan Olives (£2.00). Under the heading – Afghan Tanür (Tandoor) was Lamb Chops, again sold by weight. Marg selected the £9.00 option, with Hand Cut Chips (£3.00). By now we had the Waitress who advised us that Salad would accompany. This should prove to be enough for Marg this Lunchtime.
Clive chose the Lamb Kobeda Wrap (£6.00) from the Lunchtime Menu, what’s wrong with having Curry four days in a row?
Mein Host, now dressed as The Chef, came out to ask Marg how she desired her Chops. Well cooked, towards Carbon – was the reply. Bradford’s International is her yardstick. We had to have Tea, we were told, as a welcome. A Light Tea was presented, Clive either drinks Bier or nothing, too early for Bier. (Fat Boy’s does not have an Alcohol License.) Hector does not drink tea outside of Scotland. I gave in and poured for Marg and myself. Lemon Tea, we were told later. We had to be told.
The Olives, Salad and Dips kept Marg and Hector amused whilst the Mains were prepared. The Karahi would take a while, at The Khyber we became used to waiting an hour.
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The Waitress brought The Main Event. The Wrap was Substantial, Four Chops in a Steel Platter were given to Marg. £9.00 for Four Chops. Steep, very steep.
A Tagine was placed before me – From The Chef. I was not expecting my Karahi to arrive in a Tagine. I was taken aback when the Lid was removed to reveal Vegetables in a Soup – A Vegetable Dum Pukt! A Soupçon, on The House! And much appreciated – BHHIP.
The much anticipated Afghan Karahi was presented along with a Huge Chilli Naan. Here we go, again…
The Naan was twice the size any man could eat. Where was this in Horsham? Clive had his Wrap, Marg had her Chips, no help for Hector. A Tasty Naan, though it did Crisp up a bit, a different style of Naan from the norm, towards Kulcha possibly.
The Namak Mandai Karahi looked the Authentic Afghan Dish, the Masala was Sufficient, no way Excessive, and Thick. It was simply Spiced, a Salt and Pepper Mash, Glorious. The Lamb was on-the-bone as it has to be. Lamb Chops and Sucky Bones featured, the Best of Both Worlds. Mein Host, The Chef, was out to inspect our progress. He informed me that Asians question his Lamb as being not Soft enough. He assured me the Meat is deliberately served – Slightly Harder – as it is in the area of Afghanistan near the Pakistan Border from where they take their inspiration. The Local Cuisine was filmed, the Spices are flown here, the rest Sourced Locally. This is as Authentic as Afghan Cuisine can be, the Lamb is steamed in Oil, a simple cooking method
This is a good time to remind readers of my last visit to München, Nigin Afghanisches Restaurant was terrible. When one’s expectations are raised, they can be easily dashed, not today. The Vegetables were removed from the Tagine and spread across the Meat, now I had it all, or so I thought. A small dish with three Pieces of – Kidney – were presented by Mein Host, in they went. This was an Excellent Experience.
Les Autres
Clive tore into his Wrap, he thoroughly enjoyed it. The less said whilst eating, the greater his enjoyment. Marg loved her Chops, cooked as she likes them. She too was aware that these were around £3.00 more, and counting, than charged in Bradford, Manchester, even Glasgow. We are not in Aberdeen! It was admitted the Olives were Spanish, not Moroccan. I knew it!, not. These were tasty Olives. Why did Marg order Chips? These she enjoyed too, The Hector was too busy trying to make an impression on the Naan.
A New Chap arrived, The Brother. He too engaged us at length. He suggested that Clive try the Chapli Kebab next time, or he visits Yadgar. More tea was called for, Green Tea this time. Clive conformed. It was after 14.00, two of us had a ‘plane to catch.
The Bill
£37.25. Marg had indulged, somewhat.
The Aftermath
The Calling Card was left. There had to be a photo. How well had we been received? What did Marg say to Mein Host before Clive and Hector arrived?
Next time the Nazaara Hotel Karahi, but at £40.00 a Full Portion?
This needs clarification.
