Glasgow, Scotland, 56ºN
In The Tropics, the variance between daylight hours and darkness is not significant. In the high temperate latitudes the sun sets for only a few hours in June. There are also extended periods of twilight which are unknown in The Tropics. In short, this is not a good time of year to have Ramadan.
Marg and Hector arrived at The Village Curry House (119 West St., Tradeston, Glasgow G5 8BA) at 22.00, the place was stowed. The Head Waiter greeted us at the podium, no we had no reservation. We could not be turned away, instead we were invited to join the queue for the Ramadan Buffet (£10.95), seats will be provided.
In general, Hector has learned to avoid Starters when having Buffet. The Ramadan Buffet at The Village has rotating Mains each evening, Desi Dishes are the attraction. This is like no other Buffet ever experienced by Hector, far removed from those presented in Mainstream venues, and another chance to mention The India Trip.
Those in front of us were distracted by Salads, Dips and Dates, yes Dates. Hector was not falling for this, hang on, the Spiced Onions, too tempting. Heading straight for the Mains was considered, however, these were still covered. Kassif and Mr. Baig were maintaining the now established tradition of serving The Best Bits.
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Oh well then…
One piece of Vegetable Pakora, and some elongated Fish Pakora found their way on to my plate. Shami Kebab? – asked Mr. Baig. Two please. A Chicken Wing and some Chicken Sikh Kebap filled the plate.
Marg had other ideas: Onion Rings, Spring Roll, Samosa, Chicken Tikka, Shami Kebap, Vegetable Pakora, Mushroom Pakora, and an Aloo Something. We both walked past the tray of Pizza which was rapidly disappearing.
Approaching Our Chap, we could see that still there was nowhere to sit, I pointed up to the Balcony. He nodded, up we went. Eight other Diners were tucking in, we still found a table to ourselves.
The Chicken Wing was the poorest part of my selection, just Chicken. The Shami Kebap was the standout, the Seasoning hit home. Marg too was taken by this. The Fish Pakora was Tasty too, completely different from any other encountered to date, a Lighter Batter, and appropriately Spiced.
It should come as no surprise that Marg’s appetite was sated after her Mountain of Starters. One should really consider coming to the Ramadan Buffet for Starters one night and Mains on another. Hector has employed this strategy previously.
The Chap sitting nearest along the line of tables asked – Would you like more Starters? – as he pointed to a plateful in the middle of the table. I explained that I was here for The Mains, he is a relative of The Baigs and a former employee.
I’m in it for the European food, I’m waiting for my kebap meat.
What’s wrong with the Pizza?
Unbelievably, a plate of Donner Meat arrived. I am continually amused when I see this.
The Mains
Marg decided to miss out and go for Dessert, after I returned.
Hector’s strategy was to avoid Ballast/Bulk, so no Rice and no Bread.
Chicken Biryani Lamb Pilao
Chana Aloo Saarso Ka Saag
Paye Haleem
The Chicken Biryani and Lamb Pilao were ignored, as was the pile of Naan pieces. Chana Aloo is not for The Hector, Saarso Ka Saag was the first thing considered, just a Soupçon. Paye, Haleem and Nehari, this is not my night. With hindsight I should have have some of the Trotters, who has ever seen Paye in a Buffet?
My plate was still empty, The Big Dishes must be at the end of the line, such that people have less space to overload with Meat. Behold the Guy in front of me who had chosen the Antithesis of the Hector Curry. This is why I tend to avoid Buffet, all tastes catered for, sort of.
Chicken Tikka Masala Lamb Bhoona
Chicken Kirahi (Bone) Lamb Kirahi (Bone)
Chicken Tikka Masala, I could never come to The Village and order this, for many reasons. I took a couple of bits, for Research Purposes. Lamb Bhoona was the first Dish to excite, get it on. Chicken Kirahi (Bone) is not for me, Lamb Kirahi (Bone) is why Hector was here. I was also hoping for a Keema and a Karela Dish too. When does Ramadan end? I’ll be back.
The Village was much quieter as I returned upstairs. Marg went to the bottom of the stairs for her selection of Sweets.
Seasoning First, Spice Second
I couldn’t help notice that all of tonight’s Mains were swimming in an Oily Masala. Having been at the tail end of the queue perhaps the Mob had removed the Meat. Still, the Masala had Great Flavour, the Seasoning hit first. Anyone can make a Spicy Curry, to get the Seasoning right brings out the Flavour of everything else. The Masalas for both the Bhoona and Kirahi were indistinguishable.
The Lamb was Tender in both, I lost track of which was which in the Soupy Mass on my plate. The Saag added to the Liquid content. Rice would have made the plate look more like Curry, however I planned to go for more. What’s this? Green Capsicum, on my plate, from where?
The Chicken Tikka Masala had a big Salt Hit then the Texture of the Chicken was realised. No thanks, too stringy for me.
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I went down for more Lamb Kirahi, only Capsicum was left in the tureen. Kassif went off to arrange more. Without Capsicum please! Hector was presented with a half Portion of Kirahi by our ever watchful Head Waiter, success.
Whilst I was waiting I put a couple of pieces of the Chicken Kirahi on my plate, again for Research Purposes.
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I tackled the Chicken Kirahi first. It was terrible, the texture was Alien to the Hector Palate. I shall continue to insist that this Impervious Meat does not Curry, but then, if that’s what people want.
The Lamb Kirahi on-the-bone was the Highlight, Yum. That it was – The Last in Line – says it all.
(A Ronnie James Dio reference, just in case the Reader has missed the Monsters of Rock at Bietigheim-Bissingen.)
The Bill
£21.90. Marg may not have had her money’s worth, no problem for The Hector.
The Aftermath
Irram was keen that I did not post the photos I took of her, she was tired, not her best, waiting to eat. The photos were junk anyway.
Her brother, Kassif, was still smiling. I had to ask what his window of eating was at this time.
Until 02.30, the first sign of daylight.
Tomorrow is the Solstice, respect to those who take Ramadan seriously, and do not kid themselves and others. It will be years before Ramadan precesses to a more manageable distribution of light/dark. 2028 will be a doddle in Glasgow.