London – Whitechapel – Lahore Kebab House – By Order

Did Hector really post a review of a Crawley Kebab House which did not sell Curry?  It must have impressed, but then a Kebap only impresses at midnight. Twelve hours later and Hector is back in The Capital, Dr. Stan was meant to be meeting in Whitechapel for Curry-Heute but gave in to the attraction of something called the Ibis Buffet Breakfast. So, no Food left in Shepherd’s Bush for anyone else thereafter?

Curryspondent Archie reminded me as soon as I had my first London Curry of this Trip that I should be making my way to Lahore Kebab House (2-10 Umberston St., Whitechapel, London, E1 1PY, England) where I would find – The Taste. Curryspondent Neil gave a nearby alternative – Tayyabs (83-89 Fieldgate St., E1 1JU), there is Curry in London-East and it is most certainly not to be found in Brick Lane, Sheba excepted – the only non-Bangladeshi Curry House spotted in my last patrol there.

It was approaching 12.30 as I entered Lahore Kebab House, a comfortable sitting area lay to the right, settees et al, for Takeaways one assumes. In front of me, and behind a glass screen, was the Open Kitchen, instinct made me turn left. The vastness of this venue now opened up before me, this was much more than the typical Curry Cafe. Twelve fellow diners had arrived between the Noon opening time and my arrival. Hector did the wise thing and phoned yesterday to confirm the Sunday Lunchtime opening time. This is a seven day a week operation, all day.

A Chap pointed to the first table which sat three. Two laminated menus were already on the table in traditional Cafe style. All Meat Dishes on the main section of the menu were £7.75, Meat and Chicken. So much for the venues who add an extra charge for Lamb presently.

Karahi – Methi – Keema – Kofta – all the options one would expect to find in a good Glasgow/Bradford Curry Cafe. As Lamb Bhuna was my first and second Curry Experience on this trip for Comparison Purposes, so it had to be Methi Gosht as was served so splendidly on Friday at Miran Masala.

A Plain Nan was a mere £1.40 – Only one? – asked The Waiter when he took my order. This made me worry slightly about the Size. Still, one could always ask for another at the time of serving, this is not Aberdeen where Bread prices remain Astronomical.

Providing the Sparkling Water (£2.95) caused some difficulty. A passing Chap advised The Waiter serving me that there was none. He went to check, a Warm Bottle arrived, I asked for Ice. A Chilled Bottle replaced it, a Litre too, success.

Given my proximity to the Fellow Diners, I was unable to take the photographic coverage of the room I would have liked. A large screen tv was on the wall way to my left – England v Pakistan again, don’t these teams ever play anyone else?

A Modest Salad and Raita were placed on the table, no sooner had I taken my – still life – when the Methi Gosht arrived – Gosh!

Methi Gosht

This looked the proverbial Bee’s Knees. The large Karahi had a huge portion of Meat in a Masala Thick with Methi. One tends to know that when it looks this good it is usually wonderful, usually. I felt as if I had been given an extraordinary long time to marvel at what lay before me, no Bread. Eventually my very Light, in fact, peely wally Naan was ready, I would have given it longer. Light, edible, yes, but could have been better.

The Meat content was well into double figures, the pieces were perfect Bite Sized cuts. One or two pieces were decidedly Chewy, the majority Tender. £7.75 for all this? The Masala was rich with Methi, most cooked in, some sprinkled on top at the moment of serving. Judging by the dark coating on the interior, this Dish was finally assembled in this very karahi, a good system, why decant twice, I would eat directly from the metal.

The Masala was very well Seasoned, the Spice level was not remarkable, I could have asked for – Spicy, it wasn’t offered either. Although – Familiar Tasting – the impact of this Methi Gosht – was not the same as at Miran Masala two days ago, that was intense.

The first half of – the eating – was Satisfying, then I realised that the enjoyment level was diminishing. One expects the excess Oil to collect at the base of the karahi as source of sumptuous Flavour, instead I had a watery residue. The metal karahi had also cooled quite dramatically, the last quarter was decidedly – cold. Here lies the irony, if I had been given less I would have been finished by this point. The Naan, which had been too hot to touch initially, was also past its best. The pleasure coefficient was in free-fall. A disappointing end after a magnificent beginning.

The Bill

£11.60. As I hope I have made clear, this was a mass of Curry for little expenditure.

The Aftermath

The Calling Card and the Replacement Samsung impressed no-one.

The reviews of hundreds of Curry Houses – I said to The Waiter. Actually I had never counted how many Curry Sources have been reviewed in Curry Heute – well over Four Hundred appears to be the ball park figure.

It is a pity the Calling Card did not achieve the intended objective, I was hoping to ask about the Specials, which I spotted well after I had ordered. Dry Lamb sounds right up my street. Lamb Chop Curry – both of these still £7.75. On the bone – please – always when available.

Hector will be back, how would Methi Karahi Gosht on-the-bone – go down?