Daft Friday – was the name given to this evening back in the University days. On this night, few fear to tread outdoors less one encounters – Amateuris Drinkerus. It was therefore a rare Opperchancity for Hector and Marg to spend the evening together, Curry-Heute was suggested, it is written.
Marg was confused by the identity of the chosen venue: Bombay Grill (19-21 Glasgow Road, Hardgate, Clydebank, G81 5PJ), once of the Boulevard Hotel, then relocated to up the hill to Hardgate. On entering, it appeared that a party was in full swing, every table occupied, Buffet Kings and Queens. Having stated that we had no reservation, there was no chance ot a table. It was Marg who suggested a Takeaway from the adjacent doorway.
A Young Lady served us, it would become obvious that this was her first shift. She knew nothing of the Dishes on offer and so recorded everything meticulously. But what to have?
The Menu was written on various boards on the walls, the terms – Mainstream – was never more apposite. Hector settled for Lamb Punjabi Garlic Masala (£6.95) with Vegetable Rice (£2.35); for Marg, Chicken Makhani Masala (£6.95) and Pilau Rice £1.95). Once upon a time, the original Akash in Helensburgh used to serve an Excellent Makhani Masala, topped with Cheese. Daal Makhani is one of Hector’s Favourite Sides, where available, a very Savoury Dry-tasting Dish despite the Soupy texture. We would see. I asked for my Punjabi Garlic Masala to be topped with Dry Methi. This was duly noted.
The Bill
£18.25. More on this to follow.
The phone rang almost constantly throughout our wait, a more established member of staff took over the counter, up to an hour wait was quoted. We had time to study our surroundings. Wine bottles were visible in a fridge, so Bombay Grill have their Drinks Licence (they were awaiting this last visit). A board had a hand written Buffet offer: Weekend Buffet £14.95, £13.95 otherwise. However, it was the – £19.95 Buffet with 4 Drinks – which stood out. Interesting. One wonders what constitutes – 4 Drinks – ?
On another wall, the Set Meals offer was listed. £8.95 for a Starter, Mains, Sundry, an extra £1.50 for variations, including Lamb? We could have paid Less and been given More. This offer was not made. More importantly, Karahi and Bhoona were part of the Set Meals, but not on the Main Menu. Why?
After a most acceptable wait of some twenty minutes, our Takeaway was presented, Complimentary Poppadoms attached.
@Hector’s House
Marg already had her fingers in the Poppadom bag, hence the photo of the remnants. She announced that a Takeaway suited her more this evening, it had been a long week. The various components were revealed.
The Vegetable Rice had three large pieces of Green Pepper prominent, these went straight in the bin. What was left was a Large Portion of Rice with Potato, Cauliflower, Onion Chunks and Mushrooms. No Green Beans. The Lamb Punjabi Masala had a generous Topping of Dry Methi, beneath lay the Masala whose Colour and Texture suggested Daal, but was a Standard Puréed Masala. Eight double-sized pieces of tender Lamb were present, Sufficient. Too Sweet – was the initial reaction, time to stir in some Methi. It was then the Red Garlic Paste was uncovered, why Red? Hector loves Garlic, but to taste this alone, too much. The Melange of Masala, Garlic Paste and Methi improved the overall Flavour, Synergy, this was not. The Spice Level was – OK -, the Dish was way Under-seasoned, it was Curry, nothing to get excited about.
Two more pieces of Capsicum were unearthed and set aside. I then realised that I was in a hurry to get this Curry finished. The Rice was overcooked, to the point of turning to Stodge. There was a Strange and somewhat worrying Flavour from the Potatoes. A Very Average Curry was being ruined by the Accompaniment. Extra Rice can always be saved for later, tonight it went straight into the Capsicum-laden bin.
Marg was in her element. This is exactly what I needed! – was her proclamation after the first mouthful.
When Hector opened the packaging there was almost a gasp of horror. No way would I order this, but then Marg loves Butter Chicken. She took half of the Pilau Rice where each individual Grain stood out, this had been cooked properly, and half of the Chicken Makhani Masala. A Bright Coloured Sauce with Chicken swimming therein is something Hector finds abhorrent, each to their own. Unfortunately, with half leftover, Hector would have to fall on the sword. Tomorrow’s Lunch?
Hector: I wouldn’t buy a Takeaway form Bombay Grill again.
Marg: I would.
Postscript
It came to pass that on Saturday night, the remnants of the Chicken Makhani Masala and Pilau Rice were placed in the microwave. The Rice was visibly way better than the Stodge I had attempted to eat yesterday. An Orange-Yellow, Creamy and Puréed Coconut laced Masala is not a Hector Curry. Four pieces of Chicken Breast were the Solids. It is ironic that in the week when Hector finally found a Chicken Curry to his liking that I would find myself eating this. My customary parameters of Spice and Seasoning felt irrelevant. Sweet, Sickly, not for me.
Below this level there is none; or Chicken Tikka Masala perhaps?
