A Saturday night – Couple’s Curry – in Glasgow, where better than Akbar’s (573-581 Sauchiehall Street G3 7PQ)? However, it does mean that a fair proportion of – The Bill – is going to be for booze. When Marg and Hector are out with Alan and Tracy, Cider is partaken of by both chaps. Well, it was a Saturday night and my three fellow diners all still work.
It took fifty two attempts to get through to Akbar’s last night to make the booking for tonight at 19.45. The lesson: don’t try to phone on a Friday night. I still wish Akbar’s was open for business in the afternoons, it would make life so much simpler, and they would get more custom from Hector et al.
We arrived moments after the time of the reservation. Imran, Mein Host, only sees us a couple of times a year, yet we are always recognised. He took us to our table in the middle of the main dining area after we had ordered our drinks at the bar. Akbar’s was full, as one would expect on a Saturday night. It was pleasing to see that so many people are here to eat – Bradford Curry.
Before we had a chance to think about the Menu, we were greeted by three chaps at the adjacent table who were at the point of leaving. Let me re-introduce Gordon, Morgan and Darrach (yes, he who has a restaurant named after him), three former pupils of Lomond School. They made their Curry-Heute debut in 1995, featuring in – Hector’s Final Curry Lesson. Hopefully tonight they went beyond – Aloo Chicken. Maybe one day they will be brave enough to cross the river and discover the best of Glasgow Curry.
The drinks arrived: on the house – the drinks Waiter assured us. Party on. Later we ordered 375ml bottles of Cobra (£3.75) and 500ml bottles of Cider (£4.75), one thinks this is how Akbar’s make their profits, still, we were already quids in.
Naveed was our Waiter this evening. It would take us some time to get the Order placed, we did so in two parts. At Akbar’s it has to be Lamb Chops which at £4.45 for four, must be the best value in the country. Marg was already negotiating one, but that would leave me with three. In the end she ordered her own, just to have one Lamb Chop of course. Tracy ordered Chapli Kebab (£4.00), whilst Alan would have Fish Pakora (£4.95). Having already declined Poppadoms, the ladies then decided they desired a Poppadom (£0.75) each and the Pickle Tray (£1.50). No comment.
Akbar’s is one of the few venues in Glasgow where one can get a decent Fish Curry, for Hector it would be Karahi Fish (£8.95), the Dreaded Ballast withheld. Marg was brave enough to go for the Karahi Gosht (£8.45). Alan wanted Lamb and Spinach, I advised him to consult Navid given that there are two versions available. I assumed he desired Masala with Spinach as is Hector’s preferred style, and not a mass of Herbs with little/no Masala. Navid steered him to Karahi Gosht & Spinach (£8.95). Tracy, who famously enjoys Lamb Chops but not Lamb Curry, declared Butter Chicken (£9.45). Navid suggested something more challenging, Tracy stuck to her guns. We asked for all Dishes to be served – Asian style – which would guarantee Spice and Minimal Masala, the Butter Chicken excepted. Once again, no Capsicum was agreed around the table. Navid went as far as checking if this included Green, Red and Yellow. That – Chillies are fine – was also made clear.
My fellow diners each would have one Chapatti (£0.75) with the knowledge that there was no way I would finish my Coriander & Chilli Naan (£2.95).
Let us consider the prices of the Main Courses. Portions at Akbar’s are not skimpy, the majority of Mains being under a tenner is remarkable in such a Pukka Restaurant. That the Chicken Curry was the dearest choice this evening both mystifies and amuses. The Bread prices are also commensurate with the prices in the mother city. The Lamb Chops aside, the Starters may be a bit pricey. One could come to Akbar’s, drink Tap Water, and eat relatively cheaply.
I took a break to inspect the – Facilities – and take a photo of two young ladies who were preening themselves for a – selfie. The Facilities have lost their sparkle, the hand driers were reluctant. One might expect better in a Restaurant with this level of grandeur. The Starters had arrived when I returned to the table.
Lamb Chops
With Marg ordering her own, for once Hector would enjoy a full portion. Marg spontaneously gave me one of her Chops, payback for all she has purloined over the years. Marg would eat three, the lady who only wanted one.
The Lamb Chops were small, but having so many meant there was still a feast for Hector. Marg and I both like our Chops to be – cremated, these were decidedly so. Marg reckons the Chops were suitably – juicy – I disagreed. I have had better here, so the title of – Best Lamb Chops – in the coverage by Curry-Heute stays in Crawley at The Downsman.
Fish Pakora
Four pieces of Fish in a Spicy Batter. We are spoiled at Yadgar when they simply – bring it – freshly made. As much as I love Fish Pakora, tonight, Hector was having Lamb Chops. Alan made quick work of his Starter.
Chapli Kebab
A pair, thankfully, given the price. These too were cremated, not the light patties one is used to, as served in the Curry Cafes of Glasgow’s Southside.
It tastes like a Burger and a deep fried one at that – was Tracy’s take on her Kebab – it should be char grilled not a Burger, greasy, she continued.
So, maybe not up to the high standards one has come to expect at Akbar’s, but Hector had five Lamb Chops.
Part of what makes dining at Akbar’s a special occasion is the ceremony associated the presentation of the Dishes. If indeed, it is the Chefs who bring them from the kitchen, who is manning the grills? Could this explain the extremely well-fired Starters this evening? Whatever, they are always happy to pose and bask in their moment of glory.
*
The Breads
If the Chapattis are substantial, then the Naans are simply a hoot. Behold the largest of Coriander & Chilli Naans, all of which was edible. Unfortunately, it is the pointy end which Hector favours when eating Naan, it was by this part the Naan was hung. Still, it did the job, I probably ate too much Bread which says a lot. By the time the collective had finished, only the point was left. So it goes.
Karahi Fish
What a mass of Fish! In Bradford’s Punjab Sweet House & Grill Centre, I have deliberately ordered the half kilo knowing that I could drive the rest back to Glasgow. I would love to have known the weight of what sat before me. Topped with a sprinkling of Fresh Coriander, the wedge of Lemon was a welcomed addition. Squeezed over the Fish, this adds an extra blast of Citrus. There was a Masala, albeit decidedly Minimal, as sought. One could see the Oil collecting on the periphery of the karahi. It was at Akbar’s where I was first shown the – dabbing sponge – to remove the excess Oil. Some Oil is required, the source of so much Flavour.
The Spice was moderate, the Seasoning below what I would expect in a Fish Curry, this always puzzles. There was a slight Sweetness which is usually a negative for Hector, not tonight. The Fish was – flaked – and so the Masala, Oil, and Fish were almost a homogeneous – Mash. This was quite simply a glorious Curry. Add to this the outrageous Naan giving a Chilli bite and more Foliage, and well… this was exactly what I had conceived for my meal this evening.
You can’t get a Fish Curry like this outside of Bradford – I proclaimed to all.
You’re in Glasgow – was Alan’s timeous retort.
I was approaching my limit when I spotted that Marg was about to leave a fair part of her Karahi Gosht. Fearing that she may not have enjoyed it as much as anticipated, I offered to exchange what was left. The remaining Fish Karahi disappeared in seconds. Marg was therefore also able to give a verdict on the Fish Karahi:
It seemed really light, flavoursome, but not really a strong/fishy. I had enough space.
Karahi Gosht
Why would one add Capsicum to this perfect Curry? Unfortunately for Marg, Chef had stirred in quite a quantity of sliced Green Chillies. For Hector this would have been ideal, however, Marg had fallen foul of our cry for – Asian style.
The Lamb had been cut small, but not as small as is the Bradford norm. The Meat was shrouded in a beautifully brown and Minimal Masala. Marg had her say:
Too spicy for me, lots of meat. I was hungry and really enjoyed the Chapatti and hijacking some of your Naan.
Hector was of course happy to share the Naan, but not his Lamb Chops.
When the surplus Karahi Gosht came in my direction, I thought – nay bother. I soon realised how full I was, only a Soupçon was taken, enough to verify that this was a classic Dry Bradford Curry, why we come to Akbar’s, in Glasgow. There would be a Takeaway.
(The focus in the next two Main Courses is such they would not handle being shown full size.)
Butter Chicken
This is not a plate of Chicken Soup, though it may well have been. If one orders this, expect no more. Bright yellow, Creamy, indeed Marg loves this, Hector cannot fathom why. Tracy, who had been offered a possible alternative:
It wasn’t the best. I liked the service, but not the flavours.
Karahi Gosht & Spinach
What a wonderful photo of the handle of the karahi. As with the Fish Karahi, this was topped with a sprinkling of Fresh Coriander and a wedge of Lemon. The Spinach can be seen mixed in to the Masala, this was not the Green Curry that is popular with some. Alan:
Wasn’t as spicy as I would have liked it. Tasty, but not exceptional.
Hector suspects our next Glasgow Curry together may well be south of the river.
My fellow diners decided that it was time for Coffee, far too late in the day for Hector. Two Double Espresso (£2.50) and a Milky Coffee – as hot as you can make it – were ordered, more Bier and Cider too!
We knew when it was time to take our leave. Families with weans, tiny weans, were overrunning Akbar’s. There was a screaming fest. Had I stayed longer, I may have participated.
The Bill
£100.60 It could have been more, thanks, Imran.
The Aftermath
Alan and I discussed the balance of time spent. We took three hours over this meal, a veritable night out. Had we gone to a Southside Curry Cafe, the drinks accompanying the meal would have been negligible, and we would have had an extra hour in t’pub. It would probably have cost the same in the end.
As we departed, there had to be a photo with Imran to mark 2019. Chef was not letting me go without getting in on the act.