Lodz – Sneha’s – Touch of India – Really?

Why it takes hours to travel the relatively short distance by train from Katowice to Lodz, only Polish Railways can answer. Day #2 of how many in Polska? Who knows what the future holds?

I left the Hotel Ibis with a spring in my step, a usually reliable app – ontap.pl – had Rowing Jack, one of my long term favourite Pivo, on at nearby PiwPaw, it wasn’t. Having taken a long way for a short cut, my next port of call fared slightly better. Thereafter it was – where’s the nearest Curry House?

There are presently some six Curry Houses in Lodz (“Woodge”), all have spectacular reviews on other media, confidence levels were high. Sneha’s Touch of India (Ludwika Zamenhofa 3a, 90-431 Lódz, Polska) would provide this evening’s meal and shelter from the rain. It only seems to rain when I go out, snow was forecast for later…

The restaurant was empty of customers, people are staying in already due to the Koronawirus. I had to ask if they were open. A chap showed me through to the rear, having a choice of every table on the premises, I took one mid-room. A waiter was in the corner, a customer at last.

Finding Methi Lamb (35zl) was an unexpected bonus, surely worth a try despite the mention of a – delicate cashewnut Sauce. Following on from last night’s partial success with the Lamb Hyderabi Biryani at Icy & Spicy (Katowice), I considered Veg Hyderabadi Biryani (28zl) to be a worthwhile accompaniment. Both Dishes were quoted as being 400g.

I showed the photo of Capsicum on – The Curry-Heute Campaign – page and confirmed with the waiter than none would come in my direction. He assured me that there would be none in the Methi Lamb. I was then advised that as the Methi Lamb  came with Rice, I would not need the Biryani, a Starter was suggested. Flicking back quickly to the front of the Menu, I spotted Lamb Seekh Kebab (45zl). The price suggested this was a main course, with a suitable break between courses I should be OK. A bottle of Sparkling Water (330ml, 10zl) completed the Order. I was then asked if I was sitting in or taking away?

There was an attempt at conversation whilst I waited. When the waiter stated that the staff were from Nepal, the heart sank. Many of my worst Curry experiences have been in Nepalese Restaurants.

Seekh Kebab

The Lamb Seekh Kebab arrived sizzling on a platter as described. I have never seen so much Seekh Kebab on one plate in my life. I suspect this was for sharing. The Kebabs had been cut up at an angle thus the pieces maintained some form of linearity. The Kebabs were decidedly drier than those served in the UK, the ground Meat may well have been different also. The Spice was there, the Flavour lacked complexity. I watched as the Salad Garnish cooked on the still hot platter. Slices of both Red and Green Capsicum were in the Salad. Why do people not listen?

At the halfway point I considered stopping and taking the remaining Kebabs away. I changed my mind, with the added Sauces I was quite enjoying them. The Red Chilli Sauce was not Sweet thankfully, however the Green one combined to create  the taste of Dolmades, not my favourite.

The table was cleared, I asked for at least a ten minute wait before the Methi Lamb would arrive. This was agreed.

Much of the chatter in a certain social medium today was about some of the – Bieres Sans Frontieres – group deciding whether or not to take the risk in flying to Polska next week. A post was put up, as of midnight tomorrow, only Polish Nationals will be allowed to cross the border – inwards – I assumed, bars and restaurants are to close. I used my gap between courses to try and get a flight out of Polska before midnight tomorrow. £272.00 with Mr. O’Leary from Katowice tomorrow morning was the only flight I could find. Given how long it took me to get here today, I doubted the feasibility. One thing is certain, I do not wish to be marooned in Polska with everything shut for another nine days. I booked a flight from Warszawa at a horrible time back to Manchester on Tuesday morning. So much for saving money by purchasing non-refundable accommodation.

The waiter checked I was ready, I was. What followed will go down in the annals of Curry-Heute as one of the very worst of Curry experiences.

The Rice

Too often in mainland Europe I report on establishments who serve enough Rice to feed a family, it inevitably goes to waste. This was a – portion? It barely covered the plate. Then there was the Curry…

Methi Lamb

The Creaminess I can handle, not my favourite, but there was due to be Methi in there, all could be well, still. The dark specks were surely Black Pepper, but then where was the Methi, had it been blended in? A Green, Creamy Curry? Whatever, as it sat on the plate it simply looked awful. This was – Soup, exactly what I never want.  I occasionally use ground Cashew Nuts to thicken a Masala. What was the base for this – Masala?  There was no sign of Onion or Tomato. Surely they had not just added cream to ground Cashew Nuts?  That is not a Masala, this was not – Curry.

This Curry was not even at the bottom end of the scale of – bland. The Spice jars must have been waved over the pot as had the Salt cellar. The food was tepid, had it been left out to cool until I was ready? There was simply nothing here to become excited about. Then, in the classic Woody Allen style, I noted the volume. How was this 400g? Did that include the Rice?

After my huge – Starter – I was worried about finishing this, I needn’t have been. It was gone in no time at all. This was Curry? I haven’t been served something this poor since Gurkha Thali (Huddersfield) some nine years ago. Needless to say, Gurkha Thali closed soon after my visit. Nepalese Curry, I rest my case.

The Bill

90zl (£18.62) It used to be cheap dining out in Polska, I suppose I did have two Main Courses.

The Aftermath

Coats were on, the staff were waiting for me to finish. I left the Calling Card. I had previously told the waiter how bland the Curry was.