East Grinstead – Curry Kitchen Takeaway & BYOB Eatery – Something Different

Find a Curry House in East Grinstead – was the instruction. Having studied the options, it had to be Curry Kitchen Takeaway & BYOB Eatery (194 London Rd., East Grinstead RH19 1EY England). Why? Their online menu showed two versions of Karahi Gosht. One – Lamb Korai – featuring the offending – Green Peppers – whilst the – Lahore Korai Gosth – does not. The latter also describes a – Thick Onion and Tomato Sauce. The opperchancity of enjoying a real Lahori Karahi this far south in the UK, Hector Holmes had to investigate.

Clive, Maggie, Hector and Dr. Stan arrived at Curry Kitchen at 20.30. Yes, Dr. Stan had been captured having spent a fine afternoon at East Grinstead’s – The Engine Room. A Wednesday night, around three tables were occupied, one definitely had taken advantage of the – BYOB. For us, Soft Drinks sufficed: £1.90 for 330ml bottles of Still and Sparkling Water. Dr. Stan had Tap Water, actually a weak solution of Calcium Carbonate. Clive was content to pass.

Well he was for a moment. Once again, Poppadoms (£0.85) had to be ordered. Little did we realise that there would be an individual charge also for the accompanying – Bits (£.0.75).

A tenner on – The Bill – already for sod all, is how the Hector sees it. Clive disagrees. Many venues simply provide this as a welcome and a thanks for having brought them the business. Maybe in the current hard times, Hector will have to come to terms with this. Maybe not.

Maggie decided that her appetite would command a Starter. Mushroom Bhaji (£5.20) would precede Hyderabadi Chicken (£12.90) and Mushroom Rice (£4.70). Expensive Rice. Clive resorted to his fallback – Chicken Dansak (£10.95) with a Keema Nan (£4.30). Nothing new there, but it does permit comparison across the land. Dr. Stan was not missing out on the possibility of a Lahori Karahi.

The menu has Lamb Korai (£12.50) under the list of – Authentic Dishes – not so the Lahore Korai Gosth (£13.90) which is under – Chef Recommendations. I asked the waitress about the Lahori Karahi.

Her opening remark was along the lines of – this is hard. We didn’t understand.

Is the Lamb on-the-bone? Apparently not.

Can we have it Desi/Apna style? Not understood.

To accompany, Dr. Stan was having Vegetable Rice (£4.70) whilst Hector a Stuffed Nan Vegetable (£4.30).

Whilst Maggie waited for her Starter, I once again raised the point that she tends to – over order, and under eat. If she consulted a well known and reliable Curry Blog, it is clear that Maggie has never finished a Curry having had a Starter. Depending on the portion size, there could be three Hoovers loitering, ready to assist.

The Starter arrived with the Mains. To be fair, it does appear on the menu as a – Vegan Side.

Mushroom Bhaji

This was different. Rather than a deep fried ball of Mushroom in Gram Flour, this resembled a Mushroom Chaat. Syboes were in the stir fry. Perhaps the waitress could have given better advice. In what way would one need this Mushroom Bhaji when one has ordered Mushroom Rice?

In the Vegetable Rice, I can only see Carrots, Peas and Onions. The Mushroom Rice appears to have Mushrooms and Syboes, QED.

Both Naans were a good size, served whole and with a puffy periphery. For stuffed Naan, an impressive achievement. The Keema Nan passed the test, grains of Brown Mince. The Stuffed Nan Vegetable had Potato and a hint of Tomato. Piping hot, this would prove to be a fine accompaniment. I nearly managed to finish mine. The Naans certainly ticked the box.

Lahore Korai Gosth

The heart sank when this was placed on the table. This had all the appearance of the worst possible interpretation of what a – Karahi – can be, a Stir Fry. The Big Onions should quite simply not be there. Pieces of – red – also disturbed, most turned out to be Tomato, however, Red Capsicum was unearthed in addition to the ring of garnish.

The – Thick Onion and Tomato Sauce – if present at all, was not visible, instead there was Mince.

This was not a Lahori Karahi!

Some may worry about Putin starting WW3, Hector was not about to. The pen is mightier than the sword, aye right. I dipped some of the excellent Naan into the Keema Masala.

What followed took the Hector totally by surprise. The Oily base and minimal Masala gave some credence. The Spice Level was never going to challenge, the Seasoning was spot on. This Karahi had Flavour! Actually it tasted damn good! Even – Karahi-like. The Meat count reached a level of sufficiency, hard to count whilst in the actual karahi. The Lamb was giving a huge Flavour back to the Dish, something had been got right.

Dr. Stan, who felt far away despite sitting diagonally opposite, added a few words:

I enjoyed that, tasty, plenty of meat.

The Big Onions were nothing but Ballast, a nuisance. As a – Stir Fry – this was a tasty Dish, it was neither Curry or Karahi, and most certainly not a Lahori Karahi.

If either the reader or Chef is not convinced, look here.

Hyderabadi Chicken

Having had a not so impressive Hyderabadi Lamb at Curry Leaf Cafe (Brighton) yesterday, I was intrigued to see what would come. Chalk and Cheese – may be a suitable description. Behold an orange-yellow, Soupy, Creamy Mass, just what the Hector would never order. The coloured Chicken puzzled, ah the Marinade, superficial then. Mild Mango and Yoghurt Sauce – a Lassi? This was definitely a – Curry – for the ladies! Was this a Chicken Tikka Lassi?

For Spicy Chicken, one would be better going to Nando’s.

Maggie shook her head as she ate. The Chicken was most certainly not to her liking. Fortunately she had an abundance of Mushrooms as another solid. One suspects the Mushrooms Bhaji may have saved the meal.

My Chicken was …. The Mushroom Rice was perfect, the Mushroom Bhaji different, not what I was expecting. (or anyone else) The Mango sauce (was) as expected. I wasn’t expecting strips of pink Chicken which were obviously not cooked from scratch.

To be fair to Chef, the Meat would not be cooked in this style of sauce. If one orders a – Curry – such as this, then this is what to expect.

Chicken Dansak

When this arrived, I took it to be the Hyderabadi, until I saw the latter. One would expect a sea of Daal, however, this looked quite decent. Coriander and Syboes topped the Masala, along with a wedge of Lemon. My records do not show the menu description of this Curry. It appeared to have an Onion-based Masala presumably with the Daal added towards the point of serving. An easy way to create this, and it looks way more inserting that many a Dansak I have seen Clive eat. Clive loves a Dansak, and as this Blog regularly relates, every Dansak is as good as, if not better than its predecessor.

This is pretty good actually – began Clive – one of the best Dansaks I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a few.

QED, again.

The waitress was assisted in clearing the table by Mein Host.

Maggie addressed the waitress regarding the Chicken.

That’s how they do it – was the uninformative reply.

Why choose it in the first place? – remains Hector’s viewpoint.

Mein Host removed my debris.

That was different – he wasn’t taking me on.

The Bill

£88.45 Dr. Stan had cash, haven’t seen that in a while.

The Aftermath

Mein Host, Sharif, was sitting in the far room, I sat myself down at his table. We had a wee chat. He confirmed the Keema in the Karahi. I had to tell him that the Onions were quite inappropriate (as served) and this most certainly was not a Lahori Karahi. I did confirm that despite that, the overall Flavour was – wonderful!