The middle of – The Silly Season – and a Friday, a good night to stay in. How many Takeaways has the Hector had on this equivalent Friday? However, Chapatti John reckoned we were overdue another visit to Akbar’s (573-581 Sauchiehall Street G3 7PQ). With Lord Clive and Lady Maggie of Crawley resident this week, a fine opperchancity presented itself. A table for six was duly booked then updated to seven when Steve decided he wasn’t missing out. Strangely, we have never dined here with Steve in the eleven years that Akbar’s has been in Glasgow. Eleven.
Marg and Hector ensured the house-guests were punctual, early even. Simar was our waiter this evening. In time, drinks were sorted. It is The Silly Season, so no Sparkling Water (£2.50) for the Hector, Marg maintained the tradition, Maggie was – Still (£2.50). Draught Cobra (£6.95), is a ridiculous price for a bog standard pint of lager. Booze is where Akbar’s must have their highest profit margin. Steve too had a pint, as did Clive. Dr. Stan had a sensible Orange Juice (£2.75), John a large glass of wine (£6.50). Wine with Curry? This I have never understood. A jug of tap water was also requested.
Simar was keen to mention Poppadoms for the table. Marg was almost on board, but I held her back. As Curryspondent Derek concurred last week when we dined together at The Village, Akbar’s are currently keen to – sell Poppadoms – not – give. In the early days they simply arrived, Complimentary, of course! Had I spotted Imran, the manager, on entry, things might have been different. More on this below.
After a lunch which was larger than planned, the Hector was not up for having a Starter.
But how can one come to Akbar’s and not have Meat Chops (£6.70)? Four Lamb Chops I could eat, but then there would be no appetite for a main course. Maggie has learned over the years that for her, a Starter is similarly wasteful. Hector share his Chops? Clive said – if a Starter is put in front of me, I’ll eat it. Marg was still holding out for a Poppadom (£1.75), and no doubt the Pickle Tray (£3.25). £5.00, really? Times seven?
Hector the magnanimous – persuaded – Marg to have a Lamb Chop instead, Clive would willingly participate. Two Lamb Chops only for the Hector, it had to be. Steve would have a portion to himself. Dr. Stan stuck to his customary Chapli Kebab (£5.45) and John the Liver Tikka (£5.70).
No way was Maggie reading all of the extensive menu to Clive, better to ask what he would like. Karahi Keema & Matter (£13.40) struck a chord. For Maggie, Fish Karahi (£13.40), they would share a Mushroom Rice (4.95). For once, Clive did not enquire about Keema Nan (£5.95). Unexpectedly, Marg also opted for Fish Karahi as opposed to Keema. A single Chapatti (£0.95) would accompany. Note, no surcharge for Fish Curry, as is the British norm.
Given the disparity in price of a Poppadom versus a Chapatti, I have oft wondered if this is down to being a Bradford based chain? At some venues in the Curry Capital, up to three Chapattis are inclusive with every Curry, charging at all is therefore an anathema.
Chapatti John would restrict himself to two in the knowledge that there would be surplus Bread on the table. Karahi Gosht & Spinach (£13.40) remains his go-to Curry at Akbar’s. For Dr. Stan, Karahi Gosht (£13.40) with one Chapatti and Hector, Roshan Lal (£12.40) accompanied by a Coriander & Chilli Nan (£3.95).
It was at this point I realised that Steve has not been here often. Despite the presence of the Big Hitters, he stuck to his usual Lamb Madras (£11.45) with a Garlic Nan (£4.25).
The Chaps were intent on having their Curry – Asian style, the Chapattis, as it comes. Simar challenged Dr. Stan. That we knew what we were about appeared to take some convincing. As five – Asian style – was being noted, so I whipped out the Oppo and showed my Akbar’s page and the photo of Hector with Shabir Hussain, the proprietor. What other insufferable customer could play this card?
Do you know this chap? – asked the Hector.
I saw this photo yesterday – was the unexpected reply.
All was well, Asian style accepted, our waiter was no longer in fear of serving Curry we wouldn’t manage. Withholding the – Peppers – in the Roshan Lal was not an issue. Why did Samir ask if I wanted – Lamb?
Having arrived at 17.15 for our 17.30 booking, the place was originally empty. Akbar’s was filling rapidly, the seating area to the rear also. This is how it is, always book in advance. Tonight, no weans, nobody to steal our Bread. Was that really ten years ago?
Simar brought two sets of Dips and a larger bowl of Chilli Sauce. Why order the Pickle tray? The Starters followed soon after.
Chapli Kebab
A pair, small, and too well fired, Dry too; Chapli needs to have retained a degree of moistness. These were nothing like the size or quality served at Yadgar across the river, and effectively double the price.
Liver Tikka
Chicken Liver – John assured us.
A mountain as ever, not as strong (as other animals). John knows.
Steve sampled a Soupçon and declared he was having this next time.
People actually enjoy Liver?
Meat Chops
Four reasonably sized Lamb Chops and prove me wrong, still the best value in the city. The Salad was a bit skimpy compared to previous times. Having divvied them out, and that did hurt, some of the Chilli Sauce was spooned on to the plate.
Succulent – is a word used sparingly in these pages, it is only apposite to Grilled/Tandoori Meat. These Chops defined – succulent. Previously – cremated – was the #1 parameter, no more. With the Chilli Sauce, the Spice Level was way up there. There was a – Wow! – moment, and the Hector was only having two Lamb Chops.
Very delicious – added Steve. The day of eschewing a Curry in favour of a Tandoori may be imminent.
There was an appropriate gap between Starters and Mains. The delivery of the Bread almost caused a stooshie.
Steve’s Garlic Nan was placed beside him, the Coriander & Chilli would follow. Suddenly the Naan was taken from our table and given to chaps at a window table who had already devoured one. That they needed a second baffled, but unless Fawlty Towers is the model, you don’t wheech away a guy’s Garlic Nan. Steve’s Naan became the last item to arrive by which time he was assisting the Hector. No burnt blisters, still, the Coriander & Chilli Nan was not overdosed in Chillies, a fine specimen and huge.
The Mushroom Rice was enough to share, just. Having also had a large lunch, Clive and Maggie had ordered a sensible quantity of food. Normally, one eats nothing before a visit to Akbar’s.
One of the Chefs helped bring out the Curry, always a nice touch.
*
Fish Karahi
The Fish Karahi looked heavy going, Oil collecting in the middle of the Curry did look a bit unappetising, the magic sponge would have been welcomed at this point. Marg did her best to remove it. The Fish was flaked a la Bradford, Bullet Chillies were present in addition to the cooked-in finely chopped Green Chillies. Both Marg and Maggie set aside the Bullet Chillies.
Maggie was quick to remark on how – Fishy – the Karahi tasted, a positive, and a feature never to be taken for granted. She continued:
It had arborio rice to thicken it and stop it being soupy. Incredibly flavourful, plenty of Fish, lots of small cut Chillies.
Arborio Rice, in a Curry House? Either she was mistaking some of the Fish Flakes or overlooking the fact she had ordered Mushroom Rice, which was definitely Basmati. I did advise the ladies that the Bullet Chillies are milder than the finger Green Chillies which they ate.
Marg – very flaky fish in a rich sauce, and surprisingly filling with my Chapatti.
The Kashmir Restaurant, Bradford’s reliable source of Fish Karahi, is overdue a return.
Karahi Keema & Matter
This was a Keema Mutter! Not a sign of needless Masala and no peripheral Oil. And quite a bucketful.
Very good, almost as good as my own – declared Clive, maybe not so tongue in cheek. Clive is proud of his own recipe but has never dared present it to the Hector.
Big lumps of mushroom, it was on the hot side, way too hot for Maggie. I did ask for it Asian style.
Roshan Lal
Dry, with a Thick, Minimal Masala, this defines a Bradford Curry, and here it was, once again. If I dined at Akbar’s more frequently I would stray from this favourite Curry occasionally, however, it’s too good to pass up. Why are the chaps ordering Karahi? Save a quid!
The Bradford Curry Taste was there, yet today I would say there was a dominance of Spinach over the customary Methi. The small-cut, super-soft Lamb was bursting with Spice and a heat beyond what the Chillies were offering. Too demanding for some perhaps, a consistently glorious Curry.
As ever, the Naan had to be abandoned to ensure the Curry was finished. John was almost ordering another Chapatti until I gave him a wedge of Naan. Marg too was in there, then Clive. Still, a mass of Naan, larger than many houses initially present, was let go.
Lamb Madras
It’s a while since I have seen a straightforward Curry at Akbar’s. With visibly larger pieces of Meat, not in the Bradford style, and big Chillies atop, the Masala still looked inviting. The lack of heat in the Chillies was verified when Steve reached for the Chilli Sauce, – to help it along.
It was no surprise when it became clear that Steve was struggling. Having made a decent dent in his Garlic Nan, the four Lamb Chops were taking their toll.
It was difficult to differentiate between the remaining Dishes. Dr. Stan and John were furthest away from the Hector, no comments were heard or noted, thereafter I gave them the night off. Their choices have already been reviewed oft.
*
*
Karahi Gosht
Would you believe Marg mooted Coffee and Dessert?
The Bill
£164.45, of which £24.45 was for drinks. Seven diners, I hope to never discover what this would have come to in the Merchant City.
The Aftermath
It was only in the final moments that I spotted Imran. He took the time to verify our enjoyment. He was keen to know if I had ever tried their Charsi Karahi (£13.90). I have but as is written, for Hector it’s Roshan Lal.