A few days in Sheffield, Hector has the opperchancity to go exploring new venues.
Naan Heaven – Desi & Indian Restaurant (82 London Road, Sheffield S2 4LR England) showed up, part of a cluster of Curry Cafes on the west side of Bramall Lane. On previous trips, Hector has celebrated Apna Style, which lies further south. By coincidence, today saw the publication of the Hillsborough Report, Sheffield’s other football stadium.
Martin and Dr. John agreed to partake in today’s sojourn, a brisk half hour walk from Shude Hill, negotiating multiple cycle paths, with the sun in our eyes. We arrived at Naan Heaven bang on 13.00, five customers were in situ, the premises, as expected, bijou.
We are three, where would you like us? – I asked the young chap front of house, Mein Host. He didn’t move the two small tables together, but sat us adjacent to young chaps who were finishing an impressive looking Nehari (£12.49) and a less appetising Lahori Channa (£5.99).
With the menu on two screens, we studied the Fayre. Something different was foremost in Hector’s mind, Lambed out. Kofta Channa (£7.99) and of course a Plain Naan (£1.25) could meet my requirements. Dr. John opted for Chicken Curry (£9.99) with a Plain Naan and Plain Rice (£2.99). For Martin Lamb Curry (£14.99), note the flexible pricing, and a Plain Naan. A can of fizz (£1.25) for each of us.
Individually, we started to relay our Order.
No Kofta.
Mein Host then decided to bring us the menu. Strange.
OK, Lamb Curry for Hector.
There was no consultation as to what level of Spice we might desire.
The three would be diners sitting behind me questioned Mein Host about the timing of their Order. Who knows how long they had been waiting. The two young chaps certainly did, they offered us a Soupçon of their Nehari.
No bone, a Nehari without the shank/bone. With the red oily Shorva that I could never make, this was potent, full of Flavour. A medium Spice Level and well Seasoned, impressive. A view shared by the three of us.
The chaps reached their limit, the Chana abandoned, they gave us the Nehari and paid for a fresh Naan – for us.
To keep you going – they advised that we would would be waiting some twenty minutes.
The Naan never arrived.
The Nehari was therefore abandoned. In time, a tall turbaned chap came from the kitchen to clear the table. What Mein Host’s role is at Naan Heaven was now being questioned. Where were our drinks? Surely these could have been presented during the wait?
The wait well underway, the passing of time was slow. Hector booked flights to Athena for next autumn, the ritual trip. The three diners received their food at 13.40, again they had questioned how long it had taken. Three stuffed Naan, one Curry to share, Bread with Curry, the antithesis of how we approach matters.
The sound of frying was audible, for whom was something being fried? What was going on in the kitchen?
Curry 55, later Dr. Stan would remark – how many Robins is that?
At 13.55, Mein Host brought out two karahi with the Lamb Curry, Martin tore in despite there being no Bread.
The Naan arrived after a few more minutes, whole, risen, peely wally, no blisters, Sesame Seeds, so not really – Plain, a sensible size.
No eating utensils.
Can I have a fork or spoon please?
Acknowledged, but nothing happened.
Can we have our drinks? – asked Dr. John, whose frustration was most apparent, more-so having just seen his Chicken Curry.
Can we have cutlery please? I need to be able to eat my Curry.
A plastic knife and a wooden fork were presented. I hate eating with wood.
Can I have a cup?
One was provided.
Do my friends not get one?
The Plain Rice was a Euro portion, way more than any single person could manage. Definitely – for sharing. Neither Martin or I required Rice.
There was an apology for the wait. The reality, food prepared from scratch should be more authentic than that served from – The Big Pot.
Is this your first day? – I asked Mein Host. Apparently he had been let down by other colleagues, and the turbaned chap was new.
Lamb Curry
Served on-the-bone this was already way better than was anticipated. The Meat count was into double figures, and even allowing for the bones, plenty of eating here, so good value. Tomato-based, with peripheral Oil, the Masala was most inviting. The appearance therefore said – Karahi – rather than a straightforward – Curry.
The Spice Level was – medium plus, so well judged. With no Chillies added, that is where it would remain. The Seasoning was sufficient to bring out the Flavours. The Oil/Ghee also played its part here, quite a distinctive overall Flavour. Super-soft Meat, mostly eaten with the fingers, the wooden fork was therefore used as a shovel to force the Masala on to the Naan. No Whole Spices were encountered, yet this creation was certainly – Desi. Simple, effective, tasty.
Martin offered the following:
Meat was tender, and somewhat flavoursome. The sauce was slightly too oily for my liking. Spice level was a little below what I would have wanted. The addition of fresh ginger strips would have been most welcome.
Was it worth the wait – no, was it worth £14.99 – no, would I visit again – no.
At least it wasn’t raining for the walk there and back.
We agreed that the Shorva served with the Nehari had way more Flavour and would have been the better choice.
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Chicken Curry
Nobody expected this. John failed to recognise this as – Curry. The excess of Oil/Ghee was simply unacceptable. Just as well John had ordered Rice, this would have been a heart attack on a plate otherwise. Topped with sliced Green Chillies, the Meat was smothered with the most minimal of Masala. OK, Chicken is pale, but the lack of colour here puzzled. Namkeen! Was this in fact a Namkeen Karahi, cooked with Salt & Pepper? John had never encountered Namkeen previously. No Soupçon for Hector, so this cannot be verified. Why had the menu not given more information. Why was Mein Host not able to advise?
As with Martin, John was less than satisfied with his experience at Naan Heaven:
55 minute wait for the worst “chicken curry” I have ever had with possibly the worst service ever experienced in a UK restaurant.
Well, he had ordered Chicken Curry, no sympathy here.
The Bill
£17.49 My share, we paid separately.
The Aftermath
With my fellow diners waiting outside, I gave the Calling Card and introduced Curry-Heute. Many apologies followed. Not a good day to have Hector visit.
I assured Mein Host that I would praise his food, but as for the rest, well.
2025 menu
