In the beginning there was no Curry-Heute – B.C-H. Unsurprisingly, at the beginning of Curry-Heute there were damn few Blog entries. In the first weeks, Hector was scrambling to fill some pages, a day out on the South Coast found Hector in Shoreham-by-Sea. On encountering The Indian Cottage Tandoori (74, 76 High St., Shoreham-by-Sea, England BN43 5BD) the interior, at least of this Tudor (?) building had to be investigated. No Curry was had, and only one photo was secured of the historical interior, today this was rectified.
Lady Maggie of Crawley was happy to drive Lord Clive and Hector to this coastal town, Curry was the primary purpose of the venture.
We entered at 19.00, Hector’s DNA was deposited on the unexpectedly low door lintel, Maggie was on hand with tissues to mop up the blood. Composure regained, we stood in the first room waiting to be seated. A couple were dining here, there was seemingly no awareness by the staff of 
our presence. In time we were greeted and shown to a table in the same room. With so many rooms available, I had to wonder why we were sat at the locus which would partially block access to the labyrinth for other diners. The couple soon finished and were off, so method perhaps. Hector was immediately at their table to study the leftovers, Thick, Creamy Masalas, so be it.
I reminded Maggie that according to a well known and reliable Curry Blog, if she ordered a Starter she would never finish her Main Course. Maggie and Clive therefore limited themselves to Poppadoms. Hector refused, once again, to play this game.
Maggie was drawn to the – Khori Dishes – which feature – fried capsicum – and – is served on a sizzling dish. Sadly this would be a Mainstream interpretation of Hector’s favourite Karahi. A – stir-fry – is far from authentic, therefore Maggie agreed this should be dismissed.
Butter Chicken (£7.25) for Maggie and Lamb Tikka Dansak (£8.45) for Clive who said he had never had one with – Tikka Lamb. The opperchancity of having a Herb-rich Curry with a Masala was to be realised. Balti Lamb Almashriqi (topped with spinach) (£10.75) had to be Hector’s choice. I asked the waiter about the Masala. He admitted that this would be copious, – less Masala – was therefore agreed upon.
All three Dishes came with the choice of Rice or Naan, we each ordered the Pilau, but Clive desired a Bread: Keema Naan (£2.25). Hector was not missing out on Sparkling Water. A large bottle (£3.75) was added to the Order along with a small bottle of Still (£1.95) and a can of a well known soft drink (£1.95).
The Pickle Tray arrived with two Poppadoms, whilst those who would, indulged, here was Hector’s time to tour these magnificent premises.
Lamb Tikka Dansak
The Meat sat in a Thick, Lentil-rich Masala. This is a Curry which Hector has tried to produce but has failed to attain the standard hoped for. Many a Dhansak has been witnessed in the company of Clive for whom this is his fallback Curry. Clive’s verdict on any Dhansak is therefore reliable:
… pretty happy with mine, the level of spice was about right, the meat was amazingly tender, portion was excellent. That was a very good Dhansak.
*
The Keema Naan was modest in size and had a strange redness protruding. The puffy edges impressed, as a Plain Naan I would have been happy with this, however, Hector the Inspector demanded that Clive reveal the interior. Aha! Behold the layered Meat which is more associated with a Donner than Keema. Individual grains of Mince is how the best Keema Naans are served, this was overkill.
Butter Chicken
As Butter Chicken Curry goes, this looked to be the part. The Masala had a decent viscosity and was suitably creamy. Those who order such a Curry are definitely hiding from anything more challenging, but as Maggie revealed from the start, she had higher expectations:
No spices were harmed in the making of this – a line used by Clive on more than one occasion, and most recently in Berlin last year – I like my nose to run a wee bit.
(Yvonne’s nose doesn’t run when she eats Curry, allegedly.)
The portion size was excellent, rice came with it, because of that the plain basmati was a bit bland. Big chunks of skewered chicken, tender, said it was medium, but no spices harmed…
Balti Lamb Almashriqi
This was different. Slices of cooked Tomato sat atop a massive layer of Spinach. This I have never encountered before. How far was this was from a Saag/Palak? Realistically, this would have been right up Hector’s street, a definite case of Masala with Spinach. The Masala, well hidden initially, was Thick with the Creaminess I had now come to accept is a feature of this venue. I decanted a mass of Meat, Masala and Spinach on top of the Rice. The portion size of the Rice was well judged, a plateful, no more required. The size of the Curry portion was then fully realised, this was a lot of Curry for one’s Pound.
The food was not – hot – and so given the enforced slow pace of eating spelled disappointment towards the end when all would be cold. For once I missed the candle-lit heaters. There was a hint of Sweetness in the Creamy Masala, but this should surely be tempered by the bitterness from the Spinach? The Spinach turned out to be no more than boiled, this had not been prepared a la Hector’s recipe for Palak. I had my Herb, I did not have a Spice-infused Herb. Overall, the level of Spice and Seasoning was below that which I generally seek which makes me again wonder why it is not the waiter’s ritual to establish individual requirements.
The food actually became warmer as I tackled the interior, also from the depths came more Flavour and the sense of a – kick – at last. Things were improving, enjoyment being registered.
The Meat deserves a special mention. The pieces encountered at the start were soft or soft needing some chewing. No problems here. At no time would I consider any of the Lamb to be tough, yet the end game will go down as one not to be forgotten. The final two pieces of Meat, undeliverable. The penultimate piece took minutes of chewing before swallowing could be considered, yet it wasn’t tough. As for the final piece, a World Record? Maggie watched, realising what was happening. It felt like ten minutes such was the energy applied. I must have used more calories to chew the last bit than I gained from digesting it. I cannot apportion the blame to the Meat, so what happened here?
As Hector was trying to finish his Curry, a chap entered the premises with an air of ownership. He was escaping from the torrential downpour. The final mission of the day would be to engage him.
The Bill
£37.30 For the quantity of food served, this was excellent value. The Special Set Menu must be worth checking out for portion size versus value.
The Aftermath
I showed the waiter the Curry-Heute post featuring The Indian Cottage Tandoori:
I wrote this when you were still at school.
The Calling Card was issued, a classic scenario of when it did its job. Mein Host reappeared, now dressed for work. I explained my long held desire to dine here having encountered the splendid building so many years ago. He told us some of the history, the second oldest listed building in Shoreham, and Charles II had been recorded as a visitor. There was no Curry in those days.
Finally, one of the first Blog entries has an actual Curry review to complement what is a remarkable location to dine. This is the prettiest Curry House in England.
2021 Menu
