‘Tis January, the month which Marg has subconsciously set aside for a visit to Mother India’s Café (1355 Argyle Street, Glasgow, G3 8AD), her suggestion. We waited until mid afternoon this Sunday to give the best chance of securing a table without a wait. One cannot book at Mother India’s Cafe.
For Marg, this venue is all about the Butter Chicken, this is her Benchmark. For Hector, it is the Machi Masala which is the attraction. It is nigh on impossible to obtain a worthy Fish Curry in Glasgow, Mother India’s Cafe has been a haven for a decade, more.
We were shown to the table adjacent to where we sat last January, the Menu was provided and the Drinks order taken – Sparkling Water (3.95). The Daily Specials were printed on the Menu, Today’s Specials handwritten. Beef Stew (£6.75), no more clues? Pricey for a Tapas Portion. Beef costs less than Lamb currently.
Marg chose Chana Aloo (£4.50) to accompany her usual Lemon and Cashew Nut Rice (£2.25) and Butter Chicken (£5.75). I found the Chickpea-Potato to be a strange choice for Marg, what was she expecting?
To accompany my Machi Masala (£5.50) I once more decided to risk the Lamb Karahi (£5.95) – Lamb cooked in a rich pepper sauce. Last year I was assured that the – Pepper – was cooked into the Masala and no – Ballast – would be present. Not the case. I would attempt once more to avoid Capsicum/Ballast. A Paratha (£2.15) would complete the Order.
The Young Waitress noted Marg’s selections and then mine.
No Capsicum in the Karahi please. Please pick it out before serving if necessary.
She was unsure – the black things?
We assumed she meant Cardamom, Marg put in her tuppence worth.
Green Peppers, no Green Peppers.
At Mother India’s Cafe, the Portions come when they are ready. If one orders what might be considered to be a Starter it may not come before a Main, better to avoid these and stick to Mains. Two hot plates were set before us moments after we gave our order, these would cool, a bit previous.
Butter Chicken
After an acceptable wait, the various components of the Order came over. The Butter Chicken was topped with Walnuts. For those who like that sort of thing, this Dish is it, yet Marg was not happy.
A bit more Kick than I would have expected.
Spice should not be a challenge to Marg unless it is outrageous, I doubt that it was. Sample? – no way. The Chana Aloo had Minimal Masala, as I would prefer if I enjoyed Chickpeas.
Chana Aloo
Marg had spread some of the Rice on her plate and then the Butter Chicken. Due to her ongoing dental problem, she had to cut up the Meat to a manageable size. Praise for the Quantity of Chicken was her last favourable comment. She lost the Masala in the Rice, yet she had decanted less than half. With nothing coming from the Aloo Chana she had created a – Dog’s Breakfast.
Too spicy – too dry.
The Chana Aloo was not a good choice, or combination on this occasion.
Across the table, there was not a Happy Hector
Lamb Karahi
The Lamb Karahi had arrived a good time before the Machi Masala and so was addressed first. Red Pieces protruded from the Masala. Tomato – guessed Marg.
I picked four chunks of Red Capsicum from the Pot and placed them on the plate. As ever, Hector prefers to eat from the receptacle in which a Curry is served when Bread accompanies.
I should send this back – was an initial reaction. A Waiter approached to make the Customary Check. I showed the Chap the Ballast.
I asked for no Capsicum.
No Green Peppers – interjected Marg.
Those are red – said the Waiter.
Same thing – was my reply. Hector was not impressed.
He returned moments later – Would you like another Lamb Karahi?
No, I’m OK.
At least the offer was made. I had a Perfect Paratha – Layered and Flaky – and the Machi Masala to look forward to, let’s not spoil the day.
I dug out another piece of Capsicum. Five, same as last year.
The Masala appeared to be Tomato-based. The Masala had a decent thickness and Spice Level, but was woefully Under-seasoned. The Onion content was in large Pieces, not the Huge Chunks that prevail in too many venues, but still. I found Capsicum #6 at the base of the pot. This is not the Interpretation of Lamb Karahi which is presented at Charing Cross venues or the Southside. Surely, a Restaurant Chain of this pedigree should not be resorting to Capsicum and Onion as Ballast, especially in a Tapas portion?
Count the Meat: four good-sized pieces, a half portion in some outlets, a quarter in others. For a couple of quid more I could get something much more substantial across the River.
Machi Masala
The Machi Masala rejuvenated the outing. There appeared to be much more Fish than there was Lamb in the Karahi. The Masala was indistinguishable from the Karahi, however, the Fish aided the Seasoning, Significantly. With a Citrus Blast, Ginger Strips and the Fish itself, there was a great array of flavours. The Spice Level felt higher too. Here was satisfaction.
I finished the Paratha, all of it, a rarity. This reflects the quality and sensible size.
Marg realised that a Takeaway was necessary. About half of the Chana Aloo remained, plus more than half of the Rice.
Mein Host had been made aware of the Capsicum Hiatus. The pile of Red Peppers was highly visible on the bare plate. Hector was offered more Lamb Karahi – without. I declared that I was now full. Here was the Turning Point. Mein Host announced he would supply me with Lamb Karahi to take away. He offered Rice too. I said we already were taking Rice away. The Rice became a Naan. Thank you very much.
The Bill
£24.10. Another Birthday Treat for Marg. Will it be another year before we return?
The Aftermath
I look as though I am leaving with more than I started with.
Driving through Kelvingrove, the tennis courts were full. People playing tennis in Glasgow under floodlights in January? A chance meeting with Dr. Stan in Byres Rd. led to Coffee and Ice Cream at the University Cafe. Is there better Ice Cream in Glasgow?
Later, @Hector’s-House
Monday night’s dinner taken care of. There could be an update.
Monday Night’s Dinner
The long tray contained a Meat Curry. The Meat count was seven, possibly eight large pieces. When I see columnar, fibrous Meat, my thoughts turn to Beef, though having challenged Restaurateurs on this matter they have insisted it was Lamb. So what do I know?
The Plain Naan was plain. The Meat Curry was reheated and poured over the Aloo Chana and Lemon and Cashew Nuts Rice which had been – Dinged. I’m not a fan of Chickpeas, but here may have been the Source of the Seasoning which shone through momentarily. The Meat Curry was – Soup – featuring a thin, runny Masala, which lacked the complexity of Flavour one desires. Not great by any means.
It’s the thought that counts.
Omelettes, Fish Cakes, Bangers and Mash were on offer. Craig admitted that had he not been in a Curry House, he would have been tempted. Curry is the only thing Yvonne has managed to eat and enjoy in recent days, she was up for it. Last time Marg had a – Wrap – this time, Hector was determined to find a Curry to suit her Lunchtime needs.
Meat Makhani (£5.95) – I suggested to Marg. Hopefully, – Creamy – would entice. Marg accepted this, I decided to try the Makhani as – Something Different. With Extra Chillies and a Coriander Topping this should give the Dish the required boost. Craig and Yvonne were less adventurous and would have once more the Chicken Bhuna (£4.95) that impressed on 
Yvonne remarked on the number of Ladies who kept emerging from the Kitchen. Sarina – herself – presented and placed a Soupçon on the table. This was a Sample of Lamb on-the-bone which she had just finished cooking. This was for The Hector to sample, I did. Gosh! The Lamb was still a bit on the Chewy side, the Flavour was – Something Else – Cloves were in there, is The Bradford Secret? I was having this. The second piece of Meat was mostly Bone so went untouched until Hector took care of it. The others tasted the Sauce which was on the small plate. All were impressed. It was agreed that my order would change to Lamb on-the-bone. Was I still having this as Makhani? Suspense.
Two Portions of Chicken Bhuna arrived, the Spicier version went to Yvonne. She took about half of the Rice. As with 
One Portion of Meat Makhani was presented, for Marg. Given that the Portions are very much – Lunchtime – they are somewhere between Tapas and a Main, Hector briefly considered ordering this too. However, Hector had another plan for this evening?
What came was Lamb on-the-bone, as ordered. Dipping a Chapatti in the Masala beside the Meat there was an immediate – Splash. One polo shirt stained. I decided it would be better to decant the contents of the Dish on to the plate. Now I could see the Perfectly Minimal Bradford Masala.
The Lamb was considerably less chewy than that which had been presented moments before. The Etiquette of Chapatti in hand was maintained, Meaty Bone alone when required, forget the formalities, just get stuck in and enjoy. I did, this was a Truly Immense Creation, one of the Finest Curry Experiences, Ever!
Should I have ordered another Portion? Craig would have easily been persuaded to have more Bhuna. No, tonight in Huddersfield, 
I asked Sarina what she would like her creation to be officially called, we agreed on:
The Fish Pakora came first, not unexpectedly. Seven Decent-sized Pieces of Fish. Marg noted they were not in Batter, well, a Thin Batter. This was more like Fish Tikka. A Steel Tray with a Modest Salad and Dips accompanied, this turned the Near-naked Fish into a Meal. Normally, Hector would have taken a Sample, not tonight, something wicked this way comes.
The Flat Karahi are a feature of this region, one can see instantly what there is. There was no need to count the pieces of tender Lamb, there was Loads, – Large – indeed. Behold the Lamb Karahi, surely the Voyeur will appreciate the Splendour of what is shown here?
The Hector Scale of Seasoning and Spice has been perfected. This was the Second Wonderful Curry of the day, the Ingredients may be similar, the outcomes so different. Somehow, in this part of Yorkshire, Here lies the Joy of Curry, and the reason that Hector is able to apparently eat the same Food so often. The Masala was so Rich in Flavour and in the correct ratio to the Meat content. As the Oil collected around the edges of the karahi so I felt totally at home. This is the Food I seek, and I find it in Bradford and its South and West Hinterland.
The Meat and Masala across the line started to diminish. Having finished the Fish Pakora, Marg was getting stuck in to the Karahi. My Saturday Lunch! Both appetites sated, there was still a Substantial Portion to take away.
Three Chaps walked in to the empty Restaurant in front of me, there was a wait whilst they sorted themselves. Tea? Oh well. The Lamb Karahi (£5.50) served in the Northern Quarter Curry Cafes bears little resemblance to that served in the Glasgow or Bradford equivalent. The Masala is more plentiful, the style towards Shorva. There must be an attraction. A Chapatti (70p) completed the order. Just one? – asked the Chap who served. This was all the interaction, I am not so well known here. The Ritual Photos should have brought some air of recognition.
The Chap who brings – The Curry – did so as soon as the first three Chaps received theirs. I took my plate back up to the counter where Freshly Chopped Coriander and Green Chillies were located. Careful with the Chillies, Carefree with the Coriander, I took my seat once more. Oh yes.
The last traces of Masala were mopped up, Satisfaction was achieved. Where’s Marg?
The Replacement Samsung revealed the Locus of nearby Curry Houses, one name stood out. 
The Lamb Handi was asked for – without Capsicum. The New Waiter assured me that none should be there but recorded the request anyway. Above Medium Spice – was requested, along with a Garlic and Coriander Nan (£2.90). The prices here appear to be the same as the 
A Piping Hot Curry was presented along with a Quartered Naan. The Kulcha Naan at Rusholme 
The Spice Level was reaching that associated with – Vindaloo – on Hector’s Palate, this would be a Test, a Curry to treat with Respect. Tick the box for the all important Seasoning Level, this Curry was impressing The Hector.
This Lamb Handi reminded me of my favoured – Meat Bhuna Vindaloo – ordered so regularly in Glasgow’s Southside back in the 1970s. If this Curry was a Trial, then The Hector was Guilty – Guilty of enjoying this Very Spicy Food.
It has been brought to Hector’s notice that the Curry House Chaps of Bradford have been enquiring as to my whereabouts of late. Why is it before I retired I was in The Curry Capital more frequently? This had to be rectified, today.
Our Rendezvous with The Man from Bradford, aka – The Rickmeister – was at 13.00. That the chosen venue was the Sheesh Mahal (6 St. Thomas’ Rd, Bradford, BD1 2RW) was never contested. Sadly we were delayed by an hour due to a rather nasty RTA on the M1 at Meadowhall. Ricky was collected from his Castle, Marg gave up the front seat, Craig and Yvonne had to breath in. The Passat felt more sluggish suddenly trying to cope with the Hills of Bradford.
Starters were the last thing I had in mind today, just bring me the Bradford Curry. However, when Craig announced he was having Seekh Kebabs (£2.70), there had to be Lamb Chops (£4.90). It has been a while, it appears – The Appetite – has returned.
Five Lamb Chops for £4.90. The Chops were Substantial. Served on a Sizzling Iron Platter with a Bed of Onions, this was the Perfect way to kick off 2017. Suddenly I was down to Four Chops, Marg felt an entitlement. During this, the photo opperchancity for the Seekh Kebab escaped. The Spice was Magnificent, the Seasoning even more-so. One could be tempted to come here and just dine on Lamb Chops ad nauseam. Lamb Chops Tikka Balti (£9.50) will have to be tried, maybe next month.
Mince, Peas, and Potatoes, Marg’s Favourite Dinner, with or without that which turns it into Curry.
Yvonne has not eaten much in the last few days due to an – ongoing lurgy – hence her quote:
The Spinach and Lentils were well within the mix, a Dish Hector will have to try. Ricky has probably been round the entire Menu at 
The name suggests an Afghanistan influence, a feature which made The Hector take special note. However, Chicken and Chickpeas do not float Hector’s Boat. Craig had other thoughts. If his Seekh Kebab impressed, this Balti raised his Level of Satisfaction to further heights. Craig was giving almost a running commentary on the extent to which he was enjoying being at 
The Bradford Taste was in Hector’s face from the off, this is why I come here, such a unique experience. Two features of this Curry spoiled Hector’s day. The Lamb Balti was lacking in Seasoning, significantly. This was almost enough to spoil this Dish, the second criticism nearly pushed Hector over the edge. Capsicum, since when did Sheesh Mahal Chefs add this Ballast? The
Marg and Hector managed only three of the six Chapattis which were served. Ricky advised Craig and Yvonne they should eat the centre of their Rotis, as the edges would crisp, they did. Some venues do not differentiate between Chapattis and Rotis and try to pass them off as the same thing. They are not, IMHO, Chapattis win every time.
Now to ensure that the Karahi would be served as expected of a Desi. I asked the Waiter if Capsicum would be present, he said they were in the Sauce. I was then asked if I was allergic to Capsicum – only in terms of how angry the presence of this Ballast makes me. No Capsicum – was noted.
The – Foreword – in the Menu makes it clear that Kebabish Grill is an Independent Operation and is therefore not associated with the Chain of similar name. They also claim to have the largest open grill in Scotland. One has to pass the preparation area at the door, it would be good to be able to hang around here and watch The Chaps in action. Our Waiter presented two Dips and a Salad, Olives! I wondered how I had ended up with Olives last time here. Marg and I devoured the Olives, Mother swiped the Lemon Slice, the Dips remained untouched.
The Desi Karahi Gosht looked Spectacular and was reminiscent of that served at 
The Lamb Curry was a Classic – Meat served in a Thin-ish Masala. This is what The Mother of Hector served from the early 1960s, what I was raised on. The Boiled Rice was enough for two, Mother scraped off the top, leaving still enough for two. Perhaps I need to find a venue which serves Pensioners’ Portions, only half of the Lamb Curry was consumed, too much for an Octogenarian, or did Mother have a cunning plan? I helped myself to a piece of Meat, by now both Marg and Mother had commented favourably on the tenderness of the Lamb. Tender indeed, however, the Lamb Curry was not Complex enough for Hector’s Palate. Still, Mother was in raptures:
The Lamb Muglia (Mughlai) Masala was topped with a layer of almonds. Beneath was a most acceptably Dry Masala. Once more, Marg had a Mountain of what looked like Brown Rice, it wasn’t. Observing my notes, she disagreed that she had – hardly touched it – we agree that half was left, enough for two then. And so the lesson has been learned, at Kebabish Grill, share a Rice. No Sample came my way, we have to accept Marg’s verdict:
Ten minutes over the allotted ninety in the car park, just how pernickety are the administrators? Just ‘cos they have power doesn’t mean they have the right. The New Year may get off to a bad start.
And so 
The Four Diners of the Curryopolis entered just before 19.30 to find the place empty. The optimum table was chosen, adjacent to where Marg and Hector had observed all the Shenanigans on our 
Menus were provided, were these new? I checked the price of a Tandoori Roti, still £1.20, there is a Sanity Clause. Hector has yet to have Lamb Karahi on-the-bone at this venue. I really should present, make my order, then return the next day. When it came my turn, I showed photos of 
On my 
A Colourful Salad was placed mid-table, a welcome gesture. Four Hot Plates were then set before us, I could bring The Mother here. The Mains arrived soon after.
From the first taste there was a Blast of Methi plus that particular Lamb Flavour which can only be achieved by cooking the Meat on-the-bone. The Spice was Fine, a bit more would have been tolerable. The Seasoning was Sufficient in one mouthful and lacking in the next. I then realised that the Temperature of the Dish also varied from as Hot as I would like it, to approaching Tepid in in parts. Stir the Curry, Hector! The Lamb was Soft-Tender to Suitably Chewy and in double figures. Six Bones were leftover, three of them Sucky. The Bone Marrow made all the difference.
Hector would have asked for Methi to be included, Marg has no such obsession. Without the Potato, this time Marg was able to clear her bowl, apart from her half of the Large Green Chilli. I assured her that served – Raw – they retain their Kick, these had been cooked-in and therefore had lost their edge.
Bhindi Gosht
It was time to study what was quite a different Menu. The standards were there, but under – Chef’s Specialities – was an array of Dishes which required close reading. The range of Bhoona Dishes was encouraging, there should be a Hector Curry here somewhere, then Afghani (£12.95) was spotted – Double strength sauce thickened with tomato puree and garlic, sprinkled with fresh coriander. Given my penchant for Punjabi-Afghan Cuisine, this could be the basis for a reasonable assessment of the Light of Bengal. Alas, Bengal is on the Bangladesh side of 
A Chap in a Chef’s hat was charged with delivering the Curry. Placing the Afghani before me, he drew my attention to the Green Chillies, presumably to verify that these were permissible. Three, at least, whole Green Chillies were embedded in the Burgundy Masala. The periphery of the Curry had a Micro Salad. Served on a flat plate, the Afghani was presented in such a manner to convey that Rice was not appropriate for this Curry. The Paratha was set beside the Afghani, a sensible size, scored into quarters but not cut through, Layered and Flaky, this was the Perfect Paratha.
The Lamb Gujerati Bhoona and the Mixed Vegetable Rice had the luxury of a hot plate from which Marg could help herself. Covered in Paneer I was initially worried Marg may find this off-putting, not the case. Beneath the Cheese Topping lay Lamb in Minimal Masala and an acceptable quantity of Onion, this looked like a Bhuna should. Marg announced immediately – This is lovely, the meat is not the tenderest, but tasty. Hector was still taking photos, a struggle given that I was in my own light.
The – Double Strength Sauce – was a fair description. I was careful not to touch the Green Chillies until I had given the Masala a thorough appraisal. The Spice definitely had the – Wow, the Seasoning should have been more. Finely Chopped Onions permeated the Masala, Tomato Seeds were visible also. I doubt if this was therefore a Tomato-only based Masala, unless the Onions were simply added later. Afghani, this was far from – Namkeen. Marg took a Soupçon and announced she tasted Cinnamon, I did not, a more Global Flavour came my way.
It took over an hour to reheat the Hector Curry, we were in no hurry, but as 20.00 had passed, we lost two of our Diners. Only seven diners sat for Curry in the end meaning it appeared we had just scratched the surface. Hector’s Curry was favourably received. The Spice Level was not for the faint of heart though Fiona thought her Korma was – Spicier. The Seasoning was there, the Pickle sufficient to justify the tag – Achari. The combination of Fresh Coriander and reconstituted Methi provided the required Masala with Herbs, as opposed to a Saag/Palak cop out. Alasdair was disappointed that I had not produced Lamb on-the-bone, but I did not know my audience. I had to be pleased with the Texture of the Lamb, most Tender, with hints of Lamb Pulp left in the not excessive Masala.
Cooking for ten, not something one does every day, a pressure cooker makes all the difference.
