Hector is in Swansea for the Beer Festival later today. There had to be Bunkers afore, Curry-Heute was required. Mark has oft related how Swansea has a street lined with Curry Houses, this would be St. Helen’s Road. This is off the Kingsway Ring Road and leads down to the Brangwyn Hall where the Festival was to be held, later.
Having checked into the Travelodge bang on Noon, the search began soon after for Lunch. Orissia, directly across from the Travelodge was closed, still, the plan was to walk as far as Brangwyn Hall, to assess the distance on the ground, and take in as many Curry Houses en route, before deciding where to have Lunch. Simples. Not.
All but two of the venues passed were closed. Surma (30 St. Helens’s Rd., Swansea SA1 4AP, Wales) was the standout venue in all that I passed, it appeared to be closest in terms of informality to the Curry Cafes I seek.
The prices here are rock Bottom, there was clearly activity inside. Methi Lamb (£6.00) was beguiling. Anarkali at the furthest end of the Trek had a sign in their window saying – Open, plus some in Interesting Lamb Dishes to tempt. Tonight, possibly.
And so The Hector marched back up the hill to Surma, humidity levels were high, rain felt imminent. A sign outside advised the availability of – Naashta – from 09.30 until 12.30. Punjabi Breakfast, Indian Breakfast, both have been had when the situation required. A few Chaps were in situ, Daal and Chana were visible on metal platters.
We’re still serving Breakfast – said a Young Waitress who emerged from the rear of the Restaurant.
I had to verify this meant no Main Menu, until the evening. Later, another Great Offer would be in place – Starter, Main, Side and Rice/Bread for – £9.95. Great Value if the Portions are not too diminished. Tonight, possibly.
And so I walked down to Anarkali once more. No lights were on the door was locked, still the sign in the window said – Open. Back up to Surma, it was quite a sweaty blob who entered once again at 13.15. The Waitress was not to be seen, I approached the Kitchen and said – Breakfast – to another Lady, a Chef.
The – Naashta – Pakistan Breakfast – was available in various Deals. The Waitress suggested their most popular, however I heard Halwa, – Halwa Puri. If this is anything like the Halva served in the Middle East then it is not for Hector, far too Sweet. Potatoes and Chickpeas was the next suggestion. Chana may not be my favourite Interesting Vegetable, at least I would be avoiding – Daal.
To accompany, a Bread was required. Paratha was on offer in many guises. Gobi Paratha would be a first. This was not available.
Aloo Paratha (£1.99) – I said, without further reference to the Menu.
Oh, you know the dishes – was her immediate response.
Hector’s credibility was intact. A Plain Lassi (£1.99) was suggested, accepted. Sparkling Water was not stocked, a glass of Tap Water was forthcoming, the humidity was taking its toll.
Suddenly Chickpeas became my Favourite Vegetable, for the moment. Served in a Spicy, Well-Seasoned Shorva, the Chana vastly outnumbered the Aloo. A Slice of Onion offered yet another Texture.
The Paratha was Perfect, Layered and Flaky. This is Commendable given that it was a Stuffed Paratha, these are usually Limp. There was a Smear of Potato, clearly this works, for the better.
The Aloo-Chana Portion was Modest, so I asked the Charming Waitress if there was anything else I could have, else I would end up with half a Paratha and nothing to accompany. Chickpea rules at Surma, and so I ordered another Portion.
You’re not from around here! exclaimed The Waitress. I explained my preference for Cuisine from the Indian Subcontinent over all others. I did express my disappointment that the Full Menu was not on offer, also that no other Venue appeared to be Open at this time.
You like the food? – asked the Lady Chef when she came to the front of the Restaurant.
Of course.
The Best Bit of the Naashta hit The Hector Palate, a Blast of Lime Pickle hit home, Superb.
Lassi without Mango, easier to handle than Salt Lassi. Mango Lassi is still the benchmark.
The Second Portion of Aloo Chana arrived, well-timed too. Hector rarely finishes a whole Paratha, today would not be an exception. I now had enough to consider a Meal. The anticipated second blast of Achari never came, my only disappointment, other than the Full Menu not being avaialable.
It was 14.00, a Chap came in and asked what time they closed.
12.30.
The Bill
£7.00. This was enough to fuel The Hector for the afternoon. Hopefully there would be Curry this evening.
The Aftermath
The Calling Card was given, my Pedigree described.
I’ll have a look for sure.
A Very Charming Waitress.
Mark had by now texted with another Lunchtime Venue.
Govinda’s, a Vegetarian Cafe selling Veggie Burgers and nothing close to what I had just eaten. Mark says he likes it there, I do not see the point of Veggie Burgers, perhaps a throwback to the – ‘Meatballs’ – served up in my Kibbutz days.
Spice Quarter (8B, Brewery Quarter, Cardiff CF10 1FG, Wales) is one floor up in another post industrial conversion. Why is Glasgow’s Riverside so Spartan? Spice Quarter is quite a labyrinth inside, screens dividing what would have been a huge bare room otherwise, Sound Decor. A Young Waiter was at the serving area, he took me back to a window table. A family of four, two weans, were the only other customers at 17.15.
Rogan Gosht, not Josh, Lamb understood. Ten pieces of Tender Lamb were buried in a fortunately not too Excessive Masala. The Masala was 
Very Good, thank you.
The Bill
Let’s not overlook that the 
The Motivation
A Chap had just finished his meal, that was it, a quiet night at the 
The Meat was a mixture of Lamb Chops, Ribs and Suckey Bones/Leg. The Flavour from the Masala Mash was once again right up there, a perfect Blend of Herbs and Spices. Having impressed myself at least with Hector’s 
That was the easiest Kilo I have ever shared – was my remark to Stewart as the remnants of my Chapatti were used to scrape the side of the Large Karahi. I was hungry.
Curryspondent Archie reminded me as soon as I had my 
It was approaching 12.30 as I entered 
Karahi – Methi – Keema – Kofta – all the options one would expect to find in a good Glasgow/Bradford Curry Cafe. As Lamb Bhuna was my 
Providing the Sparkling Water (£2.95) caused some difficulty. A passing Chap advised The Waiter serving me that there was none. He went to check, a Warm Bottle arrived, I asked for Ice. A Chilled Bottle replaced it, a Litre too, success.
This looked the proverbial Bee’s Knees. The large Karahi had a huge portion of Meat in a Masala Thick with Methi. One tends to know that when it looks this good it is usually wonderful, usually. I felt as if I had been given an extraordinary long time to marvel at what lay before me, no Bread. Eventually my very Light, in fact, peely wally Naan was ready, I would have given it longer. Light, edible, yes, but could have been better.
The Masala was very well Seasoned, the Spice level was not remarkable, I could have asked for – Spicy, it wasn’t offered either. Although – Familiar Tasting – the impact of this Methi Gosht – was not the same as at 
The first half of – the eating – was Satisfying, then I realised that the enjoyment level was diminishing. One expects the excess Oil to collect at the base of the karahi as source of sumptuous Flavour, instead I had a watery residue. The metal karahi had also cooled quite dramatically, the last quarter was decidedly – cold. Here lies the irony, if I had been given less I would have been finished by this point. The Naan, which had been too hot to touch initially, was also past its best. The pleasure coefficient was in free-fall. A disappointing end after a magnificent beginning.
It is a pity the Calling Card did not achieve the intended objective, I was hoping to ask about the Specials, which I spotted well after I had ordered. Dry Lamb sounds right up my street. Lamb Chop Curry – both of these still £7.75. On the bone – please – always when available.
On entering I was impressed to see a few tables and chairs, so not just a Takeaway establishment. A choice of Two Meats were on their respective Rotisseries, one obviously – The Donner, the other? I enquired and this is what impressed: a slice of Both was cut freshly and Hector was given samples for comparison. Choice #2 was Chicken, I had to. Hector ordered Chicken, it tasted way better than the standard Donner. With – Everything on – the Chicken Donner was triple wrapped at my insistence.
Ten minutes later all was revealed, a Kebap worthy of a Hector. What would Will think?
From the moment the Menu was opened we knew we were on to a winner. The magic words – Punjabi – Karahi – Methi – all under the heading – Lamb. Each item was also numbered, so the order was:
49 Karahi Methi Gosht (£10.50) twice, 51 Karahi Methi Keema Mutter Aloo (£9.50) and three Naan (£1.40). It was good to see the Minced Lamb spelled out with the Peas and Potatoes. Hector has not seen Methi so prominent on a Menu for some time. Rather than take any chances, I asked the waiter to ensure that no 
A Lunchtime Buffet (£8.95) was on offer, temporarily as the notice outside advised. I watched a Chap get his money’s worth. A Big Portion was spooned on top of his Rice, then more, and more. I congratulate him for presenting with such an appetite this early in the day. For Jonathan and Hector, this was Breakfast.
The efficacy of the Karahi Methi Gosht was confirmed by the Aroma. The first Dip of the Light and Fluffy Naan into the Masala was a joyous moment. Hector has not tasted such an intense dose of Methi in some time. This Curry is exactly what The Hector required. The Spice and Seasoning were commendable, but the Methi hit, oh yes.
The Lamb is lovely – was Jim’s almost immediate reaction.
Across the table, Jonathan had made great progress through his Karahi Keema Mutter Aloo. We discussed the absence an of Oil residue collecting at the base of his karahi, there was no needless Masala either. Again, this was as authentic as this Dish can be served. When asked for an immortal quote, my Learned Friend replied –
Karl’s Karahi Lamb Tikka Masala arrived as we were finishing our Curry, almost instantly there was an – Mmm. Another Dr. Stan impersonation this weekend. This Dish appeared to be more Red than it need be, surely no additives? The 
Karl was ready with his comment –
The Curry Stand at GBBF was one of the first things I noticed on arrival yesterday.
Whilst The Chaps were serving up the Punjabi Lamb Curry with Rice, I asked if they had a shop, or if this was it. No shop, this is their business. £7.00 was the normal fee, there was a 50p discount for Staff at the Festival. A quick Photo Opperchancity was not passed up. With Curry, Rice, Polystyrene Container and Plastic Spoon, I walked half the length of Olympia and went upstairs to the Volunteers Bar. Being a Beer Festival there had to be an Ale to accompany.
Dr. Stan joined me with his Steak Pie and Chips just in time to record the moment. People eat that? They call it – Food? Actually, I love Steak Pie, but not with Chips.
The Breads were served on a single plate. I have read other Sources criticising the Bread at 
Jim managed to put a Cardamom Pod into his mouth as soon as he began, the Cardamom Flavour was pronounced, Tomato also came through strongly as I made progress. There was enough Medium cut Lamb in the serving, this had been well cooked, very Soft and Tender. The Spice Level was not demanding, perhaps a little bit more Seasoning, but the Tomato Flavour did come through in the end, so perhaps the Seasoning was spot on. My only criticism of the Bhuna Lamb was the Temperature. The metal dish was hotter than the contents, the Bhuna Lamb approached Tepid in parts, The Hector desires his Food to be served Hot.
The Keema Mutter had no Masala as such and was not swimming in Oil, this should be my choice next visit. Jonathan was doing his Dr. Stan impersonation making suitable noises.
