Thirty Litre Barrels are too heavy for Domestic Fridges. A Cooperative Colleague permitted access to an Industrial Fridge and so not One Barrel but Two were Perfectly Chilled for this afternoon’s gathering. Jonathan had driven the Barrels from Source, Hector’s House was the Venue. Sixteen Guests to demolish the Bier. Seventeen Mouths all needing fed. One did not show. And no Olive either.
Pyraser Landbier at 5.4% (Pyras, Bayern) is a now regular treat. Kitzmann Bergkirchweihbier (Erlangen, Bayern) at 5.9% was unknown to most. You won’t like it – I told the Gathering, maybe some believed me. It also happened to be the day after Dr. Stan’s Birthday. Cue a perfect afternoon.
How to Feed 17
Given that the Curry has to be ready in advance and reheated, preparation is everything.
Forget Chicken, it turns to Pulp. Forget Lamb/Mutton, it tends towards Pulp. Mince is the easiest to cook and maintains its integrity. That Halal Lamb Mince was on special offer at KRK helped keep the price down, Five Kilos please.
The cooking began on Thursday evening. The Masala was created with great patience according to the Standard Recipe. Three bags of Frozen Chopped Onions, Five Tins of Tomatoes.
Half of the Mince was then cooked in the Masala, the remainder in Oil and copious freshly ground Garam Masala. An entire Bag of Frozen Methi was absorbed. I managed to keep the quantity of Oil down to 750ml of Vegetable Oil. Keema Curry has to be served Dry.
The next challenge was to ensure the Curry was edible, no point making a Vindaloo strength Curry that only Four of us could eat. There had to be a Kick and there had to be Flavour. This is where Tamarind Resin and Pickled Karela come into their own. And Salt.
Last night Cold Curry was sampled, by today all the Tamarind and Karela was in the Curry, more Methi and more Salt. A Bag of Defrosted Peas. Good to go. An entire hand of Freshly Chopped Coriander was added this morning, and more Methi!.
Normally I Microwave Rice in batches for Three People. Today I risked using a Pot, well Two Pots. What does Rice for Seventeen look like? Better to have too much than too little. The Company were invited to bring Plastic Containers for a possible Takeaway. Of Curry, not Bier.
To accommodate the Late Arriver, we ate at 18.00. By then we were HUNGRY.
Many had Seconds, always a good sign. It is polite to praise the Host’s Efforts.
Some memorable quotes:
Unattributed – It was nice of Alan to leave us some.
John – Absolutely excellent Curry, thank you.
Craig – Fab -f- tastic. I went back for more and I don’t…
The Duke of Hamilton – Five, plus. And afterwords – Your Keema Curry was Splendiferous.
Stewart – On the High End of the Mediocre Scale.
Steve – Very, very good. I’ve had better Curry here. More-ish.
Neil – A Plate of Cardamom, lovely Curry, very good.
Will – It was alright.
Howard – Stunning, there is no room for improvement. A depth of Flavour. A Keema Curry to be savoured.
The Faither – A bit of strength on the Richter Scale before Tom O grinds it down.
Mags, Tracey and The Duke had Takeaways.
The Aftermath
Marg returned from Hockey, with a Cake.
A Small Portion is £3.50, a Large Portion is £5.50. Just how small, Small is would be discovered shortly. With Two Roti and extra 50p. 25P for a Roti! This is well in keeping with the Spirit of Curry-Heute, almost Bradford Prices.
It was Ikram who greeted me on entry – Hi, Hector! Waris was quickly out of the Kitchen to shake hands. We discussed the Curry on display, the Chicken Curry actually looked tempting, good sized pieces of Chicken on-the-bone. The Lamb and Potato Curry was more in Hector’s Style. With Chapattis. Waris said he had just finished making Fresh Chicken Kebabs. So, Two of these to Start please.
En route to 
Normally I contact Shkoor, Mein Host, in advance to ensure the Wonderful Goshat Karahi is awaiting. When Dining Alone, I have tended of late to turn up and see what is on offer. The Daily Specials do rotate.
The Lamb was on-the-bone. The Bones were actually a welcomed sight, it meant the Dish was not as Voluminous as it first appeared. The Thick and Minimal Masala was not giving up the 
At the base of the plate was an Oily, Fibrous residue of the Masala. Here lay the Classic 
Today, it is exactly Twenty Years since I first set foot in Brighton. The Sunday in the end of May Bank Holiday. Then I had driven down from Glasgow, a Different World, a Very Different Life. I knew Marg back then but not Clive. Clive didn’t know Maggie, but she may have known him…
The Menu had potentially New and Interesting Lamb Dishes. Laal Maans and Sikendari Raan were well described. I would take advice. Meanwhile Maggie was up for Lamb Shathkara further down this section. Hopefully the photo is legible, else the Bombay website has these listed. Marg announced Fish Karahi from nowhere, I hadn’t even considered Fish Today. Clive was all over The Menu looking for Chicken Dansak, I’m sure he orders this to wind me up. Each to his own, but Lord Clive of India is usually more adventurous.
Marg was quite taken with her Karahi at First. The Fish was lovely but the Masala was spoiled by the Big Vegetables. I didn’t have a sample but could see the Pile of Debris accumulating. Big, Seriously Big pieces of Green Capsicum and Onion. This keeps happening to Marg. When I ask for the Capsicum to be withheld, Marg concurs, else she forgets. This was Ballast. Marg continued – It was Good, but not much of it.
Twenty Two Hours later than planned and with Jim replacing Marg and Maggie, Clive took Hector as promised to 
Note the Renee Mackintosh Font on The Menu, on this of all days when the Glasgow School of Art is ablaze…
£6.95 for a Starter and a Main Course, as yet portion size unknown. We all know that some venues skimp and offer frustration rather than Curry. The Fish Pakora was an extra £1.00. Hector could not resist. Karahi Bhuna? Yes please.
The Fish Pakora arrived within a time that made me believe Curry in the Lunch-hour might be a regular occurrence. Six large pieces in a Spicy Batter and a Tangy Sauce to accompany. Very good indeed. When one considers the ridiculous price venues charge for three or four pieces of Vegetable Pakora, I felt I was quids in already. A modest Curry portion and Naan was now anticipated. Some ladies were brought Prawn Cocktail. This looked – Wow! Was it worth ordering two Lunchtime Deals?
Coming soon
Edible, Tangy, almost Pleasant. I think I’m overdue cooking a – Replica – Dry Lamb Achari featuring Karela, of course.
Ayaz and Rasheed greeted us as we took our seats. We could sense that people were upstairs, Ayaz was busy running up and down the stairs. Hector had to go up and investigate. There were in fact Two Groups, one of Chaps, one of Chapattis. The Chaps were nearly finished their Meals as the timely photos show. The Ladies departed later, by which time Mags and Hector were well ensconced in Magnificent Curry.
Ayaz brought the Two Curry Dishes and Chapattis on separate Baskets. Both looked Stupendous. I could see that the Aloo Gosht had a different Masala, Mags was in her element. She loves her Potatoes. It’s all about Spice, it’s Lovely. Leave it out overnight, not in the Fridge. Mags ate just over Half, the rest went Home.
When Ayaz brought a Fresh Chapatti I asked if he could bring me this every three hours. This new Blast of Heat upped the ante. This was truly One of The Greatest Curry Moments, Ever!
There was a quick chat with Shan, the Delivery Driver. He reckons he drives around 35 miles per day. Charing Cross was even mentioned. Competition indeed!
With The Hanging Baskets on display, at the
The Chef’s Specialities include Lamb on-the-bone which as regular readers know has been re-defined as Lamb Gurmeet after The Chef. With the Classic Hector-style Curry featuring Extra Methi and Seasoning, this is it. Jazzi confirmed that Hector’s Favourite Chef north of the River Clyde was on duty. Lamb Gurmeet please.
A Side Vegetable Dish felt correct today. At £5.50 for a Full Portion and £4.50 for a Side, logic suggests that if I was not dining alone, the former would have been ideal to share. An Aloo Gobi Side and Chapattis completed the order.
Chapattis are not listed on The Menu. I usually report on the price of a Chapatti since some venues are out of order. Note to self, study The Bill later on.
Jazzi came up to the raised area, Hector’s Spot, to ask about the meal.
I was introduced to Ed, the Delivery Driver. With the Van parked outside, Ed is set to deliver wherever …