Manchester – Lal Qila (Deansgate) – Love Actually v Billy Elliot

Having stayed over at a desperately poor Pub-Hotel west of Deansgate in November, Hector is slowly getting to grips with Manchester west of Oxford Rd. Marg and Hector were heading to The Font to meet Craig and Yvonne. We passed the Palace Theatre, that was an achievement in itself. Billy Elliot, the Musical, is on tour, Marg has been hoping to see this for years. Ten minutes after our rendezvous at The Font, Hector was on to a Ticket Agency, how I hate these organisations, a ticket for this evening’s performance was secured. Just the one.

Craig and Yvonne departed, intent on eating the Cuisine from another part of Asia. Marg was escorted back to the Palace Theatre, Hector was free.

The Replacement Samsung revealed the Locus of nearby Curry Houses, one name stood out. Lal Qila has been a favoured – Curry Mile – venue for some time, though after my last visit to their Rusholme Branch, I felt it time to try other venues. To find Lal Qila (310 Deansgate, Manchester, M3 4HE) nearby was a bonus. I was soon standing outside the custom built premises in the shadow of the Hilton’s Multi-storey Monstrosity. Having been to Agra and Delhi since my last visit to Lal Qila, I now know that the name translates as Red Fort. The Red Fort at Agra is magnificent.

Do you have a booking? – asked the Young Waiter as I entered. I looked at him, then deliberately beyond him, the place was virtually empty. Ah, a sense of humour. I was shown to a small table from where I could observe all. In fact, I could observe all except that which was immediately in front of me. The red light made it difficult to read the Menu.

Would you like Poppadoms? – asked the same Young Waiter.

Are you giving or selling?

We are giving them at two for….

No thanks.

The Young Waiter then offered me Complimentary Poppadoms.

I declined. I’m not that bothered about Poppadoms unless they are the medium with which to support Spiced Onion.

The order for Sparkling Water (£1.95) was given. Still Water was brought.

You’re not doing too well – I remarked.

Another Waiter took the order and would eventually bring the Curry. At Rusholme, the Lamb Chops are Wonderful. I couldn’t have more Lamb Chops after yesterday’s Extravaganza at the Sheesh Mahal in Bradford. Three Dishes were worthy of The Hector. Lamb Handi (£8.90), Desi Lamb (£9.10) and Lamb Achari (£8.90). The Lamb Handi it had to be, what would come?

The Lamb Handi was asked for – without Capsicum. The New Waiter assured me that none should be there but recorded the request anyway. Above Medium Spice – was requested, along with a Garlic and Coriander Nan (£2.90). The prices here appear to be the same as the Rusholme venue.

I counted eight other Diners in total in the Restaurant. There is a Mezzanine too, presumably empty. As I focused my attention on the Replacement Samsung, the cutlery for the non-ordered Starter was whisked away, keen.

A Piping Hot Curry was presented along with a Quartered Naan. The Kulcha Naan at Rusholme last year disappointed. Tonight’s had not risen to the fully – Fluffy – potential, but was far from being a – Biscuit. The size was sensible for a Lone Diner, I managed most of it, more than I normally would in terms of percentage.

The Kick from the Lamb Handi  was instantaneous. Tomato pieces stood out, was this the Ballast? The Young Waiter was back, a more formal conversation was conducted, all was well.

The Spice Level was reaching that associated with – Vindaloo – on Hector’s Palate, this would be a Test, a Curry to treat with Respect. Tick the box for the all important Seasoning Level, this Curry was impressing The Hector.

The Plentiful Tender Lamb was cut – Small – but not – Bradford Small. The Meat was firm enough to need chewing at an assuring level. I could see a Herb Topping but due to the Red Light, could not identify what was there, nor could I tell what Colour the Masala was until the Photos were downloaded, no Red. The Masala was the standard Indian Purée and in no way excessive. There was a welcoming glow of Oil from the base of the Pot, proof of the Minimal Masala, I could see damn all else.

A Mature Gentleman, Mein Host came over to enquire.

I’m loving this.

This was a more effusive outburst than I was anticipating, I was surprised to hear these words. I had to ask about the origins of this branch. Rusholme was the first venue, they have been in Deansgate for seven to eight years. It is difficult to count years this early in January.

This Lamb Handi reminded me of my favoured – Meat Bhuna Vindaloo – ordered so regularly in Glasgow’s Southside back in the 1970s. If this Curry was a Trial, then The Hector was Guilty – Guilty of enjoying this Very Spicy Food.

The tongue was tingling, strangely, the teeth were not wedged with the usual cargo. I would most certainly order this again.

The Bill

£13.75. The Standard Price one expects to pay for a Main Course, Accompaniment and Soft drink.

The Aftermath

The Calling Card was presented at the bar. Mein Host had gone upstairs, Tanveer was happy to discuss Curry-Heute. He asked how much it cost (to be part of), if only. I explained that this Website and associated Curry eating are a Labour of Love. Exchanging cards, I now know that Lal Qila have branches in Charlton and Barcelona in addition to the original premises in Rusholme (Curry Mile).

The Young Waiter joined us, full of apologies for his attempts at – Humour – earlier.  Grovel.

I promised to return later in the month with a group. This Lal Qila is much closer to Manchester Central than the Rusholme branch. Roll on the Manchester Ale Festival.

It was approaching 21.30, time for t’theatres to empty.

22.40 – the Doorman at the Palace Theatre informed me.

Eh?

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