Bradford – Sheesh Mahal – Curry Extravaganza #1

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Hector

Marg: ‘Don’t book the summer holiday right at the end of term, I need time to get organised.’

A month ago Marg realised she could squeeze in an International Vets Hockey tournament this very weekend. The tie was put in the drawer, instead of going out with the Colleagues for Mahogany (Teachers’ New Year), we found ourselves speeding down the M74 and M6 in the direction of Yorkshire. I was there last week…

Having been dropped at Brighouse for the rendezvous with Mr Holden, the Richard Oastler was once again a too fleeting visit before the much mentioned Haigys which has the advantage of being around the corner from the Sheesh Mahal, Bradford’s #1 recommended curry house (6 St Thomas Road, Bradford BD1 2RW). At Mr Holden’s insistence his friend Eamon had been dragged into the ritual.

Omar, my man, was there to greet me. Mr Daft, a co-diner on my second visit, was also sitting at the rear of the room.

We took our seats. Omar showed me a menu then removed it – he assured me that he would be taking care of me.

‘Lamb, dry, on-the-bone with Herbs – he remembered the order exactly since my last visit in February. Eamon had the traditional Chicken Tikka Masala (really!), Mr Holden was tempted finally to order the Sheep’s Brains having resisted in recent visits. Various Breads were negotiated, all inclusive as is the Bradford way. The Sheesh Mahal even gives a discount for CAMRA members. Surely we should pay something towards the meal?

The Chaps had Starters, Sheesh Kebab and something Green and Brown, Hector was maintaining his appetite for what was to come.

I can make no comment about Eamon Dull’s Dish, is this a Curry Lover? Mr Holden’s Brains looked Offal, he was not put off and got stuck in. There will now be a gap in the report.

Once he had recovered, Mr Holden completed his meal and appeared to have enjoyed it.

Omar’s Special #2

Omar told me there was a hint of Spinach in my meal this evening, no doubt an attempt to increase the Herb content. The Lamb on-the-bone was part Lamb Chop, and half not. Hector was soon in Hog Heaven, dipping the Bread, sucking the bones, marvelling at the taste which is simply Bradford. Hector could live here very easily.

 

The Bill

£7.50 per head, for as good a Curry-Heute, sorry, for one of the best Curry-Heute.

The Aftermath

The ritual photographs included an introduction to Taj, the owner.

 

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Let me entertain you…

Posted on June 22, 2011 by Hector

Dom was not present, he was at Hampden Park; the rest of his cohort were being fed and watered in Clydebank.

An appreciative gathering scoffed the Chicken Curry, the mountain of Lamb Curry  in Hector’s current bitter and dry style was consumed in far greater quanttiies than anticpitated. There was only a smattering left for Robin’s doorstep tomorrow.

A sucessful night, or the truth will  out.

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One Up – a choice of two Dumbarton venues

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Hector

This evening Marg and Hector were entertaining Kirsty who sadly will not be a regular part of lives at the end of this week, ah industrial relations…

A Helensburgh Curry-Heute would have been an obvious selection but the keen reporter has not had the opportunity of visiting a Dumbarton Curry house in the past year or so.

Having only been to One Up (61 High Street, Dumbarton, Dunbartonshire, G82 1LS) some years ago, or this location at least,  Hector was open minded and hopeful.  There were fewer than five people dining in what is quite a large upstairs, surprise surprise, room.

The waiter brought us Complimentary Onion Chutney and Poppadoms (the menu said these could have been £2.95).

A Haggis Pakora was the solitary Starter.  This is always enjoyable but really, is it more than just Haggis in Batter?

The menu had an extensive list of House Specialties, but it was the Chefs Signature Dishes which caught my eye. Lamb, just Lamb?    The description gave the choice more credence: ‘On the bone slowly cooked with Punjabi spices.  An authentic dish enjoyed by our staff.’  So says the takeaway menu though I thought the House menu said ‘enjoyed by our ma’.  The menu advised ‘when available’ the waiter was not sure if it was.  He did mention Lamb Chops.  I took the risk.

Marg opted for the Special Karahi Bhoona in Lamb and Kirsty the South Indian Garlic Chilli Chicken.  Chicken.  One Chapatti, one Aloo Paratha, one Pilau Rice and a Mushroom Pilau Rice were our accompaniments.

The meals were brought in large black Karahis and the contents were sizzling.  This always impresses but what about the taste?  I cannot say that there was anything distinctive about my Lamb dish at all.  It was competently cooked but there was absolutely nothing to become excited about.  The portion of Lamb Chops was ample and the meat tender.  One kept hoping that a flavour of note would reveal itself, alas, not.  Kirsty’s dish will forever remain a mystery; Marg always leaves me some…

It was just as well that I did not sample Marg’s earlier, gosh it was poor, actually, unpleasant.

‘It was OK.’ was my reply to the waiter when he took away the debris.  Indeed, it was.

The Bill

£40 felt somewhat steep at the time.  The mains cost around the seven to eight pounds mark.  Only one bottle of a brand of beer (note spelling) that I would never promote was consumed.

I have had better, I have had cheaper.

Update:

One Up is no more – Bollywood Lounge – is the new branding, new management.

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Keema Mutter – Curry Lessons

Posted on June 20, 2011 by Hector

Last year it was A beginner’s Chicken Curry.  This year it had to be something different but still straightforward.  Mince and Peas, how common is that?  Call it Keema Mutter and it becomes exotic.

The challenge was to teach the methods, familiarise The Charges with the ingredients and prepare six pots between eight people in 100 minutes.

The ingredients were all purchased freshly yesterday at KRK (Woodlands Rd, Glasgow).  The Onions were the biggest I had ever seen, I had to have them.  Eight separate bags of (Halal) Lamb Mince were prepared. The Chap at KRK even helped me out to the car.

Chop Chop


Eight people chopping the largest Onions, tears were inevitable. We had a mountain of Onions spread around the room, but from here lies to the route to the perfect Masala.  There was much loving of the Onions as the various pots were attended to.

Somebody lost some Mince, I know not how.  There was a debate as to whether two Green Chillies was enough or excessive.  ‘How do you make a Korma’  Maybe next year.

It is strange to see the same ingredients go on to the same cooker or six rings and the results came out so varyingly. Hector limited his tasting to three of the six pots, Chris’ had the edge.

With more time we could have reduced the liquid to make a thicker Masala, but when the bell rings…

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Shimla Cottage : A Coatbridge Curry and Can’s Damo Suzuki

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Hector

A few days before the recent Curry Awards for which Hector was nominated in the category of Curry Lover of The Year, Mr Waseem Ahmed of the Shimla Cottage (109 Sunnyside Rd, Coatbridge, ML5 3HR) extended an invitation to eat at his premises.  This was a first for the Curry-Heute website, and hopefully not the last.

In further communications with Waseem he raised the point that Coatbridge is well off the beaten track for Curry explorers such as me.  The last time Marg and Hector were in Coatbridge was more than five years ago, the final day of Hector’s ice-skating career.  Fifteen seconds at The Time Capsule and I knew that this was it; the fear of heights has become extreme to the point of ridiculous.

We arrived at 17.30 as arranged, Waseem was there to greet us, I felt as if I was recognized, second time in a week.  We were settled in a very spacious room at the window.  For once, we were not alone.  Indeed many families arrived shortly after, taking good advantage of the two-for-one offer which extends from Sunday to Thursday.

The Popadoms and excellent Onion Chutney arrived with the presentation of the menu.  Waseem told us that the Special today was Karahi Gosht.  The mind was made up, though we did spend time looking through the extensive menu.  The Cast Iron Garam Masala may have been picked on another day.  There were some interesting Vegetarian Starters, but as we were determined to do the Curry justice we kept to our normal dining pattern and stuck to the Mains.  One Mushroom Rice and two Tandoori Roti were the accompaniments.

We had a pleasant chat with Waseem whilst we waited for the meal.  He has been in situ for some ten years.  There is quite a bit of competition in the town, we passed two en route.  The location adjacent to Sunnyside Station means there is ample car parking space, a distinct advantage given the double yellow lines through the town centre.

Karahi Gosht

Was it coincidence that this was the day’s special?  This is the Curry most favoured by Hector.  The dishes arrived, two ample portions of Lamb in a very thick and rich looking Masala.  The Roti was dipped in, this is impressive, I thought.  It was only after spooning the Curry on to the Rice we realised that the Lamb was on-the-bone, superb.  This does make a huge difference to the flavour of a Curry.

The Curry was hotter than Marg would have preferred, it was ideal for me; a good kick but not excessive.  There was a distinct Clove and Green Cardamom presence; pieces of Cinnamon Bark were added to the bone debris on the plates as we ate.  No Capsicum! The key ingredients were there.  The volume was perfection. This was a thoroughly enjoyable Curry.

The Bill

Hector: ‘Do you have a bill for me?’  It was polite to ask.

Waseem: ‘ No, that’s ok.’

That the  good people of Coatbridge  have access to this quality of Curry on their doorstep is something that should be appreciated.

The Coffee

The coffee served afterwards deserves a special mention (Bei Nannini).  This was easily the best coffee I have ever been served in a Curry House – fresh and very hot.

The day was not over – Damo Suzuki is in town!

Hector’s favourite band of all time – Can – have not toured in over thirty years.   Damo Suzuki, the vocalist on four albums from the early 1970s has been touring endlessly for years.  He tends to arrive, meet up with a group of local musicians, they play, he sings.  As was the style of Can at their best, this is improvisation taken to extreme.

Driving along half the route of the 62 bus which links Coatbridge with Clydebank, we arrived at Stereo (Renfield Lane, Glasgow) in good time.  The doors opened at 19.00.  Damo was not due on stage until 22.00.  There was two support bands.

One could not expect the ever dutiful Marg to tolerate an evening of three sets of unknown music.  What was a man to do?  Why do venues do this?

The BBC

I phoned Robin instigator of the Bad Boys Club, so called because we professionals do not go to the pub on a Sunday except under extraordinary circumstances. Tonight was extraordinary.  They were heading imminently to the Bon Accord having been summoned by Russell the Cellarman. An orgasmic Bier was available: Infinity by Blue Monkey.  It wisnae shabby.

Meanwhile back at the gig

We arrived to see Mandog who have been touring of late with Damo.  On hearing the last five minutes of their set I was blown away.   This was intense, almost Space Rock.  Mandog are a trio of guitar, bass and drums.  The guitarist was amazing and the drummer was playing in more of a jazz style than rock.

Shortly after 22.00 Mandog, another guitar and bass player took the stage along with Damo.  Bang!

A forty minute cacophony then ensued.  Damo eyes shut, wailing into the mike, coming up for air every so often.  The band were tight, clearly they have been playing together for some time.

That was it, the full Damo experience – love it or loathe it, there is nothing else like it.

Damo is a legend.

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The Khyber – no Carry Outs today…

Posted on June 18, 2011 by Hector

Having read about the long wait for the main courses to arrive by the contemporary Bloggers at TATTGOC, Hector now a regular at The Khyber Restaurant (221 St. Andrews Road, Glasgow, G41 1PD), was determined to avoid this delay for the first mass visit of The Friends of Hector.

Hamza took the order for our party of eight on Thursday afternoon.  He also asked that I verify the booking before our arrival today.  They were ready for us.

Howard and Tracey were in situ when Hector was dropped off by the ever cooperative Marg at exactly 15.30.  Officially the Khyber does not open until another half hour later, however Hector knows the score.  Mags was crossing at the lights as Hector entered.  Dr Stan and Jonathan arrived within a few minutes of each other; it was time to declare Craig and Yvonne as late – so late that at least another paragraph should be devoted to this.  (Hector was late once, he never heard the end of it…)

To quote Lady Ruff-Diamond: ‘Oh! How awful! What can have happened?’

Yvonne was not amused.  Fifteen minutes late, they had walked and Craig had calculated the allotted time based on his pace, not walking with his dear lady through the still pouring rain.  It was then revealed that Yvonne was all set to go when Craig (aka Mr Dyson) insisted that another room of the mansion had to be vacuumed.  Who does housework on a Saturday, perhaps it was the servant’s day off?

We had fought off the delivery of the Starters during this period and Dr Stan decided he was going to expand the order.  Another delay.  With Howard and Tracey on my right and no Starter ordered for them they were beginning to chomp at the bit.  Yes folks, we had starved ourselves since the night before, we knew what was before us.

The Starters were presented

For Dr Stan the newly ordered Seek Kebab – ‘Finest mince cooked with the finest tomatoes, green chillies, black pepper, garlic and fresh ginger.’  Craig and Yvonne, Mags and Hector shared two portion of the wonderful Boti kebab – ‘Lamb kebab marinated in medium spices roasted in the clay oven and served with mint sauce and salad.’  Jonathan had the Khyber special kebab – ‘ A mix starter of lamb, chicken and seekh kebabs served with mint sauce and salad.’  No comment.

There were ecstatic murmurings from those of us privileged to taste the Lamb.  One could probably just sit and eat this all day.  With a slight yellow hue and no mention of Turmeric this is quite a creation, Saffron?  The meat is so succulent yet it has been oven baked.  The Chef clearly knows what he is doing.

When the starters are excellent, Hector traditionally worries about the quality of the Mains…

Here come the Mains: eight half kilos of Peshawari Karahi, one with no added Chillies for Craig. A huge Garlic Nan, one Paratha, one Chapatti and six Boiled Rice were the accompaniments. Hector had warned everyone in advance that the Peshwari Karahi – ‘Finest lamb meat cooked with the finest tomatoes, green chillies, black pepper, garlic and fresh ginger.’  will not look or taste like any ‘Curry’ they had ever experienced.  Dr Stan and Jonathan had ordered the Dum Pukt on their previous visit so they had an inkling of the splendour that was coming their way.  There is no Masala, the stew like appearance is so far from any Curry served by those originating from the other side of The Khyber Pass.

Amazing Efficiency

Hamza and his new young colleague brought armfuls of Karahi, Breads and Rice.  The newcomers believed we were sharing these when they saw the mound of meat.  Hector said nothing.  When another batch arrived in as much time as it took them to walk to and from the kitchen everything was clear, one Karahi each.  Here we go.

As expected there were no instantaneous shouts of glee.  The Karahi at the Khyber is a thoroughbred, it takes a bit of time to get going, but then it certainly does stay.  The tenderness of the meat was being commented upon.  Then the tastes started to emerge.  ‘Why have we not been here before?’

Suck my bones

Some of us are not ashamed to pick up the pieces of Lamb on-the-bone and and use our facial tools to remove the meat.  Others are quite bashful.  Yvonne, magnanimous as ever asked: ‘.. does anyone wish to suck my bones?’  Strangely, there were no takers.

The Karahi at the Khyber is not a sprint, one reaches the stage when one realises this would be the end of any ordinary portion, yet there is still more at the bottom of the pot.  Then something new hits the palate.  The ghee mixed with the pulped vegetables brings another new sensation.  This is why Hector has learned to order a Chapatti to try and access this from the start, but still the pleasures are undiscovered.  This is just one magnificent experience.

Tracey was analysing what she was eating, she found the tastes to be inexplicable.  Turmeric, Chili Powder, Coriander, Cumin, the basic ingredients of a Punjabi Curry are not evident.  Black Pepper is the only listed Spice.  Is this it?

The Bill

£120 between eight of us, great value for the mountain of food consumed.

The Khasi of Kalabar: ‘May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house.’

‘Why have we not been here before?’

Hector has been trying to get the Chaps to set foot in these premises for ages.  The Village appears to have been dropped.  Some find Yadgar overwhelming.  The Karahi Palace was our most recent new joint venture.  Having all managed to polish off the half kilo then nobody has anything to fear.  We shall most certainly be back and hopefully next time it will have stopped raining.

We departed at 17.10, or eighty five minutes after we were all assembled.  There were no doggy-bags.

The Aftermath

Robin had run around the possible venues and found no Ale worth our presence.  The Saturday ritual at the Allison Arms it would be then.  It is worth commenting upon how quiet the company was; this quantity of food prolongs sobriety.

Or

As Jonathan may have Blogged: we went for a Curry today, we enjoyed it.’

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Friday at Nandos, what on Earth…

Posted on June 17, 2011 by Hector

There was a slight surplus of precipitation in the West of Scotland today, it poured down from 09.00 until about 21.00. Unfortunately for Hector, Marg and the Colleagues, this was the annual Sports Day at Linwood.  Many were soaked, something to do with inappropriate gear and not looking at the weather forecast. Serves them right.  The Charges were drenched. Hector was only slightly damp underfoot.

There is a now annual ritual after a day in Linwood, a visit to Escape and the delight that is Nandos.  The Ashoka, Johnstone did come to mind, but then there would be no ritual.

A half Chicken – Black Flag (the hottest), Garlic Bread and Spicy Rice is deemed to be the most satisfying creation.  The meaty Olives were passed on due the recent consumption of a sandwich or two, normally ten.

Finger Lickin’ Good

Eating Chicken the way it was meant to be eaten, as Marg remarked we eat Curry this way too.  Who needs utensils?

A bottle of the Super Bock (at 5.2% hardly a Bock) felt well earned.  This accompanied the most important bottle, the extra hot Peri Peri  to ensure that no meat is left white.  Hector is looking forward to tomorrow morning already.

The next week is going to feature an overindulgence in Curry leading to a possible two week drought.  It is also a time to say farewell to the Chaps and Chapattis before embarking on the annual vacation.  Where better to start than The Other Place?

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A very interesting evening, and a Yadgar Curry

Posted on June 13, 2011 by Hector

Hello, Eddy

There I was sitting in The Other Place enjoying a pint of Kipling when a Chap passes and says ‘Hi, Hector, love your Blog!’  This is the first time Hector has ever been recognised by a complete stranger.  Knowing one of the people he was sitting with I went over to introduce myself properly.  Eddy lives near Yadgar, the lucky sod.

The requirement for Bier having been sated, there was a rendezvous planned for Curry with Marg at Yadgar (148 Calder St, Govanhill, Glasgow, G42 7QP).  Having had a weekend without my basic pleasures it was necessary to ensure that the body was put back on an even keel.  The Glasgow motorway network being as it is, it made more sense for me to jump across the river in a taxi.

Meet Ali Ali

The taxi driver was interested in my destination, he has eaten there once.  He claims he makes the best Curry in Glasgow – at his home.   Ali’s family agree. They think he should sell his wares, but premises could be a problem.   I encouraged him to open up a Curry Caravan on a side street off Pollokshaws Rd.  Back in the 1970s some guys had a sausage wagon around the Kingarth St area.  This would be a perfect location to try out this.  Mr Ali has my card; he can invite Hector to share a meal with him anytime.

1kg Goshat Karahi, hot, off-the bone

1 Mushroom Rice, and 2 Chapattis

The meal was pre-ordered on the M6 in the early afternoon.  Shkoor had fine-tuned the order later to confirm I wished it hot and dry, The Bradford Style.  I had insisted on no starters, of any kind.  I had eaten well at Malham; this was all about the sheer pleasure of eating Mr Shah’s creation once again.  There was no way Marg and I cold contemplate finishing this order, however the freezer would once more have a Yadgar Curry stored for future consumption, perfect.

The Lamb was cut even smaller than the norm for Yadgar, the Bradford influence is certainly evident.  The Curry was on the hot side for Marg, perhaps I should have let up on this requirement.  Did I mention it was hot?  The Curry was hot. The Masala was non-existent, the taste indescribably wonderful.  This is how Hector loves his Curry.

Footnote

There were three fire engines outside Ibrox last night…  This news does not appear anywhere else.  This Curry was also hotter than any fire at Ibrox…

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Hector turns the gun on himself…

Posted on June 11, 2011 by Hector

Others must suffer

This has been the motto of Hector for many years, today I am victim of my own philosophy.  Enjoyment, a personal experience of something pleasurable – made all the more pleasurable by informing the non-participants that they are missing out.

Hector is at Malham Tarn Field Centre, work the rest out for yourself. Lamb Curry was this evening’s meal. It had to be had.

‘The Bisto Taste’ is how I have come to describe such Curry where the Onion base is non-existent, evidently, and there is a monotone flavour.

This is catering for the masses, kids too. They did have the choice but then who is going to serve up something akin to what could be served in a Curry House? But then again I have been served this meal too often in restaurants, especially abroad where they claim to be Indian Restaurants.

At least there was plenty of it.

 The Karl Pinkerton Moment : Splendid as the Field Centre looks, one gets a more interesting view from the window looking out, for once.

What makes this evening all the more ironic is that over the horizon lies Bradford. One can almost see the spicy haze wafting over the distant hills.  Mr Holden is there, somewhere, I believe.  But he is incommunicado too.

The summer vacation in Greece is looming, there is no knowledge of anything decent until the end of the holiday. Just how desperate will Hector become, or will there be Stifados aplenty to keep me satisfied?

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Glasgow – Yadgar – 148 Calder St, Govanhill, Glasgow, G42 7QP

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Hector

Yadgar : Simply The Best, better than…

Hector will find himself this weekend in a Curry Desert.  Ironically the lights of Bradford will be seen over the horizon, yet such will be the constraints of looking after the charges, it will be a weekend of Pasta and Chicken, purgatory.

This evening Hector found the positive side of work – I was destined to finish the working day a stone’s throw from Govanhill, Yadgar was on my mind.  The Curry-Heute for The Lone Diner was phoned in.

Shkoor was there to greet me, an unexpected pleasure.  No name had been given for the order of Goshat Karahi on-the-bone with Mushroom Rice.  Maybe they knew.

Unlike many meals of late (elsewhere), there were others eating in this pride of Glasgow Curry houses.  The takeaway trade was brisk too.

Tonight’s Evening Times had interesting articles on the breaking of the ground for the Commonwealth Games Village, and the first in a series of aerial photos showing urban change in the inner city.  The reading had to be postponed when Shkoor presented (on the house) Fish Pakora, with Salad and Dip plus a couple of Poppadoms.  I like being spoiled, this is the place to be spoiled.

The Main Event

The Goshat Karahi was delivered this time without ceremony.  Gosh!

I hadn’t asked for the dry – Hector style – but with the man in da house, the meal was presented in the iconic form.  I hadn’t asked for hot, it was hot too.  The Mushroom Rice could stand alone as a dish in its own right, the kick form the Chillies, superb.

They know what I like and I like what I know…

I wish I lived upstairs –  I remarked to Shkoor when he asked the customary question – was I enjoying the meal… Ever so slightly – was the further comment.

People have been in touch with Hector to ask what it is about the Yadgar Curry that makes it the best I have ever tasted in Glasgow.  If I could identify the taste I would buy the ingredient by the bucket load.  It must be in the blend because nothing different is evident.  The virtually nonexistent Masala, the Lamb on-the-bone revealing its secrets as one devours the mass.

The Bill

I paid, and nowhere near enough.  One cannot even tip when this happens.

What do you mean you have never eaten at Yadgar?

For those living outside the city, or even this land, buy a ticket to Glasgow and jump in a taxi.  Everyone knows where Calder St is.  For those who are resident, why on earth have you not been?  I suppose the Chicken Curry enthusiasts may not share my obsession, as for the Veggie crowd, well, do they really like food?  This is Lamb Curry as it should be served.

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