The existence of an Afghan Restaurant in Crawley was brought to Clive’s attention a year or so back in a local rag – The Best Restaurant in West Sussex – it claimed. Had Clive been exposed previously to Afghan Cuisine he would have made a beeline. The Khyber opened in Glasgow in 2011 but only survived a couple of years, a poor location, no passing trade. The food was always cooked – Fresh – to order. The Dum Pukt was first seen here, however, it was the Afghan Interpretation of Lamb Karahi which impressed The Hector so much. It was also at The Khyber that eating – the half kilo – became a Standard, Karahi was only offered in multiples thereof.
Marg arrived at Fat Boy’s Joint (8 The Broadway, Crawley RH10 1DS, England) at 12.30 and texted to say she had – booked us a table. Eh? Our flight home was at 16.00, leaving soon after 13.30 was the plan. At least the Bus Stop is immediately outside Fat Boy’s Joint.
Clive and Hector arrived at 12.45, Mein Host had engaged Marg. Who knows what Marg had said prior to our arrival, but we were about to be given the Service Royale.
Do you have Dum Pukt? I asked before I had sat down. The reply was positive, but Marg had already stated that I have would be having the Karahi. My initial fear was that Fat Boy’s Joint would be little more than a Kebap House. The Menu certainly featured a fair number of Burgers. The Chapli Kebab was unknown to Clive. Have you not had this in Glasgow?
Mein Host was back to assist. I described my preference for Thick and Minimal Masala, he admitted the Dum Pokht, as written here, was served in a – Broth. Hector does not desire Soup. The advantage of hindsight shows how much of a – Stew – the version was as served at The Khyber.
The Namak Mandai Karahi – made in the style of the famous salt markets of Peshawar – is served in quarter, half and full portions at £10.00, £19.00, and £36.00 respectively. I assumed this was per kilo, however, a footnote on the Menu caused confusion. either way: Expensive, or Very Expensive. In Glasgow and Manchester Curry Houses, Lamb Karahi is around £24.00 per kilo! I confirmed that Namak Mandai which sounded like – Namkeen – was not dissimilar. The Namkeen, or Salt Karahi is served at Glasgow’s Yadgar at appreciably less than charged here. Tomatoes, Garlic and Ginger – as with Yadgar, the Masala in this Karahi is without Onions, a fact I am still coming to terms with. The £10.00 Portion was ordered, I took advice on the Accompaniment. It had to be Bread, the Sourdough Naan Breads featured a Chilli Naan at £2.50.
Marg’s first announcement was Moroccan Olives (£2.00). Under the heading – Afghan Tanür (Tandoor) was Lamb Chops, again sold by weight. Marg selected the £9.00 option, with Hand Cut Chips (£3.00). By now we had the Waitress who advised us that Salad would accompany. This should prove to be enough for Marg this Lunchtime.
Clive chose the Lamb Kobeda Wrap (£6.00) from the Lunchtime Menu, what’s wrong with having Curry four days in a row?
Mein Host, now dressed as The Chef, came out to ask Marg how she desired her Chops. Well cooked, towards Carbon – was the reply. Bradford’s International is her yardstick. We had to have Tea, we were told, as a welcome. A Light Tea was presented, Clive either drinks Bier or nothing, too early for Bier. (Fat Boy’s does not have an Alcohol License.) Hector does not drink tea outside of Scotland. I gave in and poured for Marg and myself. Lemon Tea, we were told later. We had to be told.
The Olives, Salad and Dips kept Marg and Hector amused whilst the Mains were prepared. The Karahi would take a while, at The Khyber we became used to waiting an hour.
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The Waitress brought The Main Event. The Wrap was Substantial, Four Chops in a Steel Platter were given to Marg. £9.00 for Four Chops. Steep, very steep.
A Tagine was placed before me – From The Chef. I was not expecting my Karahi to arrive in a Tagine. I was taken aback when the Lid was removed to reveal Vegetables in a Soup – A Vegetable Dum Pukt! A Soupçon, on The House! And much appreciated – BHHIP.
The much anticipated Afghan Karahi was presented along with a Huge Chilli Naan. Here we go, again…
The Naan was twice the size any man could eat. Where was this in Horsham? Clive had his Wrap, Marg had her Chips, no help for Hector. A Tasty Naan, though it did Crisp up a bit, a different style of Naan from the norm, towards Kulcha possibly.
The Namak Mandai Karahi looked the Authentic Afghan Dish, the Masala was Sufficient, no way Excessive, and Thick. It was simply Spiced, a Salt and Pepper Mash, Glorious. The Lamb was on-the-bone as it has to be. Lamb Chops and Sucky Bones featured, the Best of Both Worlds. Mein Host, The Chef, was out to inspect our progress. He informed me that Asians question his Lamb as being not Soft enough. He assured me the Meat is deliberately served – Slightly Harder – as it is in the area of Afghanistan near the Pakistan Border from where they take their inspiration. The Local Cuisine was filmed, the Spices are flown here, the rest Sourced Locally. This is as Authentic as Afghan Cuisine can be, the Lamb is steamed in Oil, a simple cooking method
This is a good time to remind readers of my last visit to München, Nigin Afghanisches Restaurant was terrible. When one’s expectations are raised, they can be easily dashed, not today. The Vegetables were removed from the Tagine and spread across the Meat, now I had it all, or so I thought. A small dish with three Pieces of – Kidney – were presented by Mein Host, in they went. This was an Excellent Experience.
Les Autres
Clive tore into his Wrap, he thoroughly enjoyed it. The less said whilst eating, the greater his enjoyment. Marg loved her Chops, cooked as she likes them. She too was aware that these were around £3.00 more, and counting, than charged in Bradford, Manchester, even Glasgow. We are not in Aberdeen! It was admitted the Olives were Spanish, not Moroccan. I knew it!, not. These were tasty Olives. Why did Marg order Chips? These she enjoyed too, The Hector was too busy trying to make an impression on the Naan.
A New Chap arrived, The Brother. He too engaged us at length. He suggested that Clive try the Chapli Kebab next time, or he visits Yadgar. More tea was called for, Green Tea this time. Clive conformed. It was after 14.00, two of us had a ‘plane to catch.
The Bill
£37.25. Marg had indulged, somewhat.
The Aftermath
The Calling Card was left. There had to be a photo. How well had we been received? What did Marg say to Mein Host before Clive and Hector arrived?
Next time the Nazaara Hotel Karahi, but at £40.00 a Full Portion?
This needs clarification.
Marg, Lord Clive of 
Arriving just after 19.00 a few tables were occupied. I remarked to Marg on the Aroma as we took our seats – This place smells like a Curry House.
Two pages of the menu covered the Specials. A problem, having dismissed the numerous Chicken dishes, the Lamb Dishes all appeared to be be BBQ Meat. Regular Readers know that Hector’s Preference is Tender Lamb, the Meat is not sealed, more chance of the Spices in the Masala permeating. Once a BBQ/Tandoor is employed then the Marinade is all, the Masala remains an independent entity. In other words, Hector desires – Curry – but is not adverse to Tandoori Starters.
The Karahi Lamb was dismissed instantly. Tender Lamb yes, what immediately follows, no way. Marg chose Salmon Makai (£11.50) – BBQ fillet salmon cooked with mild spices in a smooth cream sauce with a touch of coconut. A light and delightfully delicate dish. … and very suited to Marg.
The Lamb Chilli Masala appeared as described, this looked to be a Worthy Dish, a quality Masala with Oil collecting on the side of the serving dish.
Oh yes!
Marg took some of the Vegetable Rice and started on her Salmon Makai. She was loving this – Creamy, a change, I wanted something a bit different. I had a taste, Coconut to the fore, no thank you. Marg departed.
The Lamb was Tender to slightly Chewy, no problem. The Seasoning was – Under -, the Spice – Madras – as asked for, a Good Kick. Ah, the Methi, the Full Methi Blast. There’s more.
The Imran Naan was Plate Sized, again more would have been Merrier. As I have to accept, the Meat looked Doner-like, but at least was Brown, not the Bright Red served up so often. With the combination of ingredients, how could it fail? The Garlic had combined well with the Herb topping, this is one of the Tastiest Naans ever. Hector now had two Sources of Wonderful Flavours, plus the Variety of Textures with the Vegetables. This is as Good as Curry gets. Have I mentioned the Methi?
Clive too was impressed, the Meat in his Lamb Chilli Masala turned out not to be as tough as even he expected.
Marg took the Opperchancity to order a – Hot Milky Coffee. What came was Black Coffee with the sugar bowl. Marg explained that was not what she desired. The Black Coffee was soon accompanied by a small jug of Hot Milk. Coffee, Coffee and Ladies.
A day out touring the Brewpubs of Hackney should naturally conclude with Curry, in 
Tonight there had to be something different. By different, I mean in – The Hector Style. I would ask The Waiter to recommend a Dish which would have a Thick and Minimal Masala. Why has it taken me so long to learn to ask for – Thick – Masala as well as Minimal? No answer required.
The Chicken Dhansak is one Curry that The Hector is never going to order, such is the joy of dining in company we get to see a range of Menu Items. What came was far too – Soup-like – for Hector but Clive, and others, are happy with this style of Curry.
The Naan was a Decent Size and the occasional bit of Flakiness was testimony to the well-fired exterior. Burnt Bits can be Tasty. The Mince content was Donner-like which, with Parathas, sadly appears to be The Norm. One still hopes for Separate Grains of Lamb Mince, once experienced, never forgotten.
This is one of the best Dhansaks I’ve ever had. – declared Clive. This is very good, a balance between sweet and spice. This one has some fire in it as well. So no mention of – Sour – then.
Visually, one has to admit that this Randomly Titled Dish had me won before I started. When Hector sees a Masala as Thick as this, the salivation process kicks in, instinct. The Masala was enough to cover the Lamb which somehow had been cut into Long Strips. Lamb can be cut this way? At times like this one questions if it is actually – Lamb, as Beef tends towards this type of carving.
Spread over the sensibly sized portion of Mushroom Rice, this was exactly what the Hector needed at 23.00 this Saturday night, here we go.
Chopped Green Chillies were the source of the Ferocious Kick, the Long Red Chillies added a bit more but were mostly decorative – IMHO. Nature’s Sprinkler System became active on the top palate. I do not know why people say – It’s too Spicy. The other well worn Cliche – You cannot taste anything when it’s this Spicy – may have some merit. I was able to confirm that the Strips were in fact – Lamb, how often does one experience this distinctive Flavour? I can also report that the Gurka’s Revenge was Under-Seasoned and would have benefited from an additional Sprinkling of Herbs – Methi, for example.
The Bill
easyJet admitted the flight to Gatwick was delayed by forty five minutes only after Marg and Hector had passed through security at Glasgow Airport. Lord Clive of 
Lord Clive had a plan, as with August Bank Holiday, this Bank Holiday Weekend means a Beer Festival at the Surrey Oaks, Newdigate. We were whisked past Stanhill Court where our Hosts were married, into the depths of Surrey. Driving along Parkgate Road, there was a less than subtle clue as to – An Event – occurring. Cars were parked along both sides of the road for about 500m, what chance getting into a car park? Somehow Lady Maggie, with proximity alarms working overtime, managed to wedge the Jalopy into the only available space in the Raj Ali (Parkgate Rd, Newdigate, Dorking, Surrey RH5 5DZ) car park. Ale, thought Hector, perhaps we should book a table for later out of politeness, after all we are in the car park of the Curry House.
Hector was snapping everything, but was summoned by both Hers Indoors – We have a table. Despite the throng across the street in the Pub Gardens, the Ali Raj was only half full. Hector’s Happiness was on the increase. Having consulted a well known and reliable Website earlier in the day, the Ada Gosht had to be the Curry of choice this evening. This Dish impressed greatly 
At 70p a pop, Clive and Hector were not playing, plus the same again for The Bits. 
Marg, Clive and Hector ordered Ada Gosht (£9.60) – Aromatic Lamb cooked with yoghurt, ginger and coriander flavoured with herbs and spices – as ever, the Hector Caveat was added. Chapati (£1.50) for Marg, Subji Paratha (£2.80) for Hector and Keema Paratha (£2.90, not on the Menu?) for Clive. For Maggie: Lamb Biriani (£10.95) and Saag Aloo (£3.95), I was already looking forward to sampling the Excess.
Today the Lamb Pieces were not so numerous, but were suitably Large. Tender to Chewy, Marg actually remarked on this first. Under-seasoned and Under-spiced, where was the Citrus Blast? Lacking in Flavour was Hector’s take, though Marg said she did taste – Lemon. Clive ate without comment, he was neither up nor down. The retained Condiments were put to use, the Lime Pickle was mixed in to the far away half of my Ada Gosht, now I have a Blast, a Pity I had to resort to this.
The Chaps from Oakham Ales are in town this evening to meet – The Company – those who have been directly responsible for promoting Green Devil from a Seasonal Brew to a Regular Brew. A Substantial Dinner was required to absorb any excess partook’t at The State Bar thereafter.
I was The Lone Diner throughout the Seder, until a couple of Chaps took the window table for Coffee. Mia – The Coffee House? Why not, I note they are also advertising a three course Lunch and pre-theatre Dinner. Akhtar said that he had a group of Ladies from Bearsden here at Lunchtime. Hopefully Mia Sugar & Spice will maintain their all-day opening.
Two Complimentary Poppadoms, Spiced Onion and Dips were brought in a flash. The Spiced Onions were on top form, Spicy with a slight Sweetness. One Poppadom was quite sufficient. (
The Lamb Desi Handi sizzled in the Karahi, another – Gosh – moment. The Pile of Meat was easily in double figures, all Large Pieces. The Masala Mash was seriously Thick, the way The Hector desires. The Onion-Tomato Mash was scooped on to pieces of ample Chapatti, alternating with the devouring of the Lamb. The Green Chillies on top added to the Ferocious Kick. It’s not too hot? – asked Akhtar. Impossible – was the reply. Bravado.
In the past week I have enjoyed The Best of Karahi at Manchester’s 
Akhtar brought over the rest of the Litre Bottle, – You may as well have this. Hassan was mentioned, his school in 
On 
The Meat content was way more than a Soupçon, quite a Portion of Lamb. The Masala was similar to that served in the Karahi Gosht, the same Sticky, Thickness. The Flavour was entirely different, the Karela was barely visible, all part of the Mash, however, it had done its work, this Curry was Bitter, Superb.
Peter summoned Hector to the Allison Arms this afternoon, he still thinks it’s my Birthday. Marg was in Stirling for much of the day, hockey of course. We agreed to rendezvous at 
By the time we had settled on a Poppadom each, plus The Bits, the Mains were ready. Marg instantly observed that her Boneless Portion was Larger than Hector’s. This remains the Great Curry Paradox: one generally pays more for on-the-bone yet knowingly, the debris will pile up. At 
I have been ordering this as – Vegetable Rice – since my earliest encounters at 
From the first intake of Lamb there was a gasp of pleasure. This is it, 
Karahi Gosht Boneless
The Masala is the same, but will never pack the same punch as when Meat on-the-bone has been part of the cooking process. Marg found her Dish to be slightly too Spicy for her. She is perfectly capable of eating – Spicy Curry – but just likes to register her thoughts. Dehydration was her main concern as she summoned a second Mango Rubicon from Omar. Hector had to sample the Boneless version, not too different on this occasion, but a Significantly Different Portion Size. So it appeared.
Ambala Deli Bar
Marg was consulted, Three Scoops (£4.20) were selected, Marg’s choice. Daim Bar?
Before Pendragon took to the stage I was able to make a copy of the Set-list. A track from the album scored out? The Two Ladies accompanied for backing vocals, yet the opening Eponymous Track – with its Operatic leanings was still played as a recording. As Good as Gold kicked things off, by the end Nick Barrrett, Guitar and Composer, again looked gob-smacked at the warmth coming from the Glasgow audience, and The Mob of about six.
Beautiful Soul was the first, this works well on stage followed by the compulsory Nostradamus aka Stargazing (The Window of Life) had everyone jumping again, except The Hector of course. Back down to earth with Come Home Jack (Men
Who Climb Mountains) and then the track from Passion which took this commentator by surprise in early hearings. Green and Pleasant Land (Passion) is an Epic, the Choir was in full force once again.
It was now well after 23.30, late for The Ferry. The Set-list showed Indigo (Pure), IMHO the greatest Nick Barrett song composition. Everyone would have left happy after this Aural Feast. It was the last night of the tour, there was more. Somehow Nick still had the voice to tackle The Pursuit of Excellence (Masquerade Overture) which had been missed from the album sequence earlier. Finally, and by now it is after midnight, Faces of Light (Men Who Climb Mountains) which proved there are two songs at least worth playing Live from this album.
That’s Pendragon for 2016. A new album, all things being equal, should appear in 2017. A reason to visit 
It is time to return to Hector’s House, the – Hiatus Horribilis – has reached its conclusion. However, there was still time for one more Curry in Manchester. Later, Hector boarded the 13.16 to Glasgow, three coaches, stowed, luggage, people standing, Trans Pennine need to look at this. Hector’s booked seat provided a table and power-point, time to Blog.
Craig – Very good, very tasty, a lot of meat.
I like this one too – said Mags as she soaked up the Excess Masala to reveal a Whole Lotta’ Lamb, with Minimal Bones. The Paratha was – in the style – Layered and Flaky. How different this Interpretation of Lamb Karahi was compared to yesterday at 
Hector had very Tasty 
Peas, Potatoes, Carrots, and Cauliflower – The Big Four – were accompanied by the occasional piece of Sweetcorn. The Thin Masala may well have been classed as Excessive on any other day, but having watched my Fellow Diners, this was not appropriate. Whatever Excess I had, disappeared into the Interstices of the Rice. I was left with a Moist Curry, the Potato Pieces were as good as any Meat on this occasion, and easier to digest. The Curry itself was Smooth, Mellow. The Masala may have been Tomato-based hence the relative Thinness. As each piece of Green Chilli was encountered, so the Bite was enhanced. This was a very good choice this Lunchtime, I could not have faced another full-on Meat Curry. Now I shall admit to having a late night Donner. Bad Boy Hector.
Despite dealing with customers desperate to be served before they could even consider a seat, Rizwan took the time to bid us Farewell. As Craig said – Why doesn’t Glasgow City Centre have somewhere like this?
When it was announced that Hector’s Haitus Horribilis should conclude in Manchester, one event was guaranteed, a visit to the Truly Wonderful – 
Craig announced yesterday afternoon that he and Yvonne would join me for Lunchtime Curry. Mags would be the fourth Diner. The 135 Bus was taken from just off Piccadilly up towards Cheetam Hill. With four of us, a Taxi was considered, at £4.20 for a day ticket, and bus stops outside 
The Menu issued today was again a development from what has been experienced in the past. Karahi is what Hector had in mind, no Half Kilos or Portions were on offer, just the Kilo. Even The Hector cannot eat a Full Kilo (£21.45). Mags stepped in and she said she would eat the other half. Aloo Gosht was not on the Menu then? It could no doubt easily have been rustled up, but it was not in my interest to suggest this. Parathas (£1.25) should be the Perfect Accompaniment.
Craig and Yvonne had different ideas. Lamb Chops (£6.45) would be shared as a Starter. The Chef-Waiter advised a Portion is Four Chops, ideal. Craig chose Daal Gosht Bhandara (£6.95) not because of what was in it, but what was not. No Chillies in this Dish, instead Lentils with Lamb on-the-bone. Rice was asked for as the Accompaniment, Salad was suggested, the offer accepted. Yvonne’s selection was Chicken Chilli Masala (£6.25), the same as 
By now Mags had seen photos of the Flat Karahi and so was not taken aback by the different presentation. The Parathas were Substantial, Flaky and Layered as they should be, we were ready to rock.
Yvonne managed to get through her Dish a good while before the rest of us. She was happy to find Brown Meat rather than Chicken Breast, perhaps this may have better Permeability, research needed. Actually no, Hector shall continue to avoid Chicken Curry.
This is my eighth visit to 
A new Waiter came on duty, as the Chef-Waiter had already done, he asked if there was any more he could do. I asked if Nauman would be in today. I was informed that he was at reception. Mein Host was informed of my presence and was straight down the room, behold the beard. The Greetings were exchanged, Nauman said he would speak later once we were finished.
Had I seen the – Specials Board – it would have been Karahi Lamb on-the-bone. Instead my gaze focused on the Display Dishes. One was Chicken, for those who still think… Lamb Chops were ready to be grilled as was some Masala Fish. Rizwan held up the Masala Fish – Do you like Fish? Hector did not need a second invitation, Fish has been mentioned on previous visits, my timing a bit out. I said I needed Rice for Ballast, and so asked how it would be served. Normally the Masala Fish is served here with Salad, knowing that Plain Rice with the Masala Fish would put me in the same position as Craig achieved in 
Two Pieces of Masala Fish, grilled or deep fried, hard to tell given the crispness of the Spicy Coating. Spiced Onion, Cucumber and Lettuce sat aside the Rice. Smithereens of a Thick-ish Masala was spread across the top of the Rice, then the Fresh Coriander. There was enough Moisture.
The Kick from the Spice Coating hit immediately, and then some. The Taste of the Masala Fish was remarkable similar to the Scottish Haddock served at 
Hector’s Bill