Glasgow, Scotland, 56ºN
In The Tropics, the variance between daylight hours and darkness is not significant. In the high temperate latitudes the sun sets for only a few hours in June. There are also extended periods of twilight which are unknown in The Tropics. In short, this is not a good time of year to have Ramadan.
Marg and Hector arrived at The Village Curry House (119 West St., Tradeston, Glasgow G5 8BA) at 22.00, the place was stowed. The Head Waiter greeted us at the podium, no we had no reservation. We could not be turned away, instead we were invited to join the queue for the Ramadan Buffet (£10.95), seats will be provided.
In general, Hector has learned to avoid Starters when having Buffet. The Ramadan Buffet at The Village has rotating Mains each evening, Desi Dishes are the attraction. This is like no other Buffet ever experienced by Hector, far removed from those presented in Mainstream venues, and another chance to mention The India Trip.
Those in front of us were distracted by Salads, Dips and Dates, yes Dates. Hector was not falling for this, hang on, the Spiced Onions, too tempting. Heading straight for the Mains was considered, however, these were still covered. Kassif and Mr. Baig were maintaining the now established tradition of serving The Best Bits.
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Oh well then…
One piece of Vegetable Pakora, and some elongated Fish Pakora found their way on to my plate. Shami Kebab? – asked Mr. Baig. Two please. A Chicken Wing and some Chicken Sikh Kebap filled the plate.
Marg had other ideas: Onion Rings, Spring Roll, Samosa, Chicken Tikka, Shami Kebap, Vegetable Pakora, Mushroom Pakora, and an Aloo Something. We both walked past the tray of Pizza which was rapidly disappearing.
Approaching Our Chap, we could see that still there was nowhere to sit, I pointed up to the Balcony. He nodded, up we went. Eight other Diners were tucking in, we still found a table to ourselves.
The Chicken Wing was the poorest part of my selection, just Chicken. The Shami Kebap was the standout, the Seasoning hit home. Marg too was taken by this. The Fish Pakora was Tasty too, completely different from any other encountered to date, a Lighter Batter, and appropriately Spiced.
It should come as no surprise that Marg’s appetite was sated after her Mountain of Starters. One should really consider coming to the Ramadan Buffet for Starters one night and Mains on another. Hector has employed this strategy previously.
The Chap sitting nearest along the line of tables asked – Would you like more Starters? – as he pointed to a plateful in the middle of the table. I explained that I was here for The Mains, he is a relative of The Baigs and a former employee.
I’m in it for the European food, I’m waiting for my kebap meat.
What’s wrong with the Pizza?
Unbelievably, a plate of Donner Meat arrived. I am continually amused when I see this.
The Mains
Marg decided to miss out and go for Dessert, after I returned.
Hector’s strategy was to avoid Ballast/Bulk, so no Rice and no Bread.
Chicken Biryani Lamb Pilao
Chana Aloo Saarso Ka Saag
Paye Haleem
The Chicken Biryani and Lamb Pilao were ignored, as was the pile of Naan pieces. Chana Aloo is not for The Hector, Saarso Ka Saag was the first thing considered, just a Soupçon. Paye, Haleem and Nehari, this is not my night. With hindsight I should have have some of the Trotters, who has ever seen Paye in a Buffet?
My plate was still empty, The Big Dishes must be at the end of the line, such that people have less space to overload with Meat. Behold the Guy in front of me who had chosen the Antithesis of the Hector Curry. This is why I tend to avoid Buffet, all tastes catered for, sort of.
Chicken Tikka Masala Lamb Bhoona
Chicken Kirahi (Bone) Lamb Kirahi (Bone)
Chicken Tikka Masala, I could never come to The Village and order this, for many reasons. I took a couple of bits, for Research Purposes. Lamb Bhoona was the first Dish to excite, get it on. Chicken Kirahi (Bone) is not for me, Lamb Kirahi (Bone) is why Hector was here. I was also hoping for a Keema and a Karela Dish too. When does Ramadan end? I’ll be back.
The Village was much quieter as I returned upstairs. Marg went to the bottom of the stairs for her selection of Sweets.
Seasoning First, Spice Second
I couldn’t help notice that all of tonight’s Mains were swimming in an Oily Masala. Having been at the tail end of the queue perhaps the Mob had removed the Meat. Still, the Masala had Great Flavour, the Seasoning hit first. Anyone can make a Spicy Curry, to get the Seasoning right brings out the Flavour of everything else. The Masalas for both the Bhoona and Kirahi were indistinguishable.
The Lamb was Tender in both, I lost track of which was which in the Soupy Mass on my plate. The Saag added to the Liquid content. Rice would have made the plate look more like Curry, however I planned to go for more. What’s this? Green Capsicum, on my plate, from where?
The Chicken Tikka Masala had a big Salt Hit then the Texture of the Chicken was realised. No thanks, too stringy for me.
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I went down for more Lamb Kirahi, only Capsicum was left in the tureen. Kassif went off to arrange more. Without Capsicum please! Hector was presented with a half Portion of Kirahi by our ever watchful Head Waiter, success.
Whilst I was waiting I put a couple of pieces of the Chicken Kirahi on my plate, again for Research Purposes.
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I tackled the Chicken Kirahi first. It was terrible, the texture was Alien to the Hector Palate. I shall continue to insist that this Impervious Meat does not Curry, but then, if that’s what people want.
The Lamb Kirahi on-the-bone was the Highlight, Yum. That it was – The Last in Line – says it all.
(A Ronnie James Dio reference, just in case the Reader has missed the Monsters of Rock at Bietigheim-Bissingen.)
The Bill
£21.90. Marg may not have had her money’s worth, no problem for The Hector.
The Aftermath
Irram was keen that I did not post the photos I took of her, she was tired, not her best, waiting to eat. The photos were junk anyway.
Her brother, Kassif, was still smiling. I had to ask what his window of eating was at this time.
Until 02.30, the first sign of daylight.
Tomorrow is the Solstice, respect to those who take Ramadan seriously, and do not kid themselves and others. It will be years before Ramadan precesses to a more manageable distribution of light/dark. 2028 will be a doddle in Glasgow.
Eight short lines permitted access to the site. Every bag was searched, except Jonathan’s. I was happy when I had to produce the solid object in mine, my big backup phone battery.
Scott Gorham carries the name, yet he is not an original member. Gary Moore was there once too.
With a Jug of Becks, he looked throughout Manfred Mann set to his rear left, was he The Show? He thought so. Chatter, chatter, chatter, why bother coming? Oh, he’s paying attention now, gyrations, talk about invading one’s space? I was not a Happy Hector.
A space opened up six to my right when a Chap puked over all around him. Welcome to Germany!
Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow
The set list from last night was already known to us, thirteen songs, a couple I would not have chosen, but The Hits have to be played, especially in an event such as this.
Highway Star began with minimal Guitar, vocals leading. We all know the magnificent fretboard sounds at the start of Made in Japan, you either repeat this exactly or do something totally different. I walked out of a Deep Purple Gig once when Tommy Bolin made a total hash of this song.
Accompanying The World’s Greatest Guitarist this evening were: Vocals – Ronnie Romero (Lords of Black), Keyboards – Jens Johansson (Stratovarius), Bass – Bob Nouveau (ex-Blackmore’s Night), Drums – David Keith (Blackmore’s Night), Backing Vocals – Candice Night (Blackmore’s Night) and presumably the other Lady from Blackmore’s Night.
The setlist: Highway Star (Deep Purple), Spotlight Kid (Rainbow), Mistreated (Deep Purple), Sixteenth Century Greensleeves (Rainbow), Since You’ve been gone (Rainbow) . Man on the Silver Mountain (Rainbow), Difficult to Cure (Deep Purple), Catch the Rainbow (Rainbow), Perfect Strangers (Deep purple), Stargazer (Rainbow), Long Live Rock ‘n’ Roll (Rainbow), Child in Time (Deep Purple), Black Night (Deep Purple), Smoke on the Water (Deep Purple), one song more than last night at the Loreley. It was dry tonight, apparently the crowd was soaked last night. We were prepared.
Taking the stage in twilight, the 21st Century Rainbow lighting effects impressed immediately and only became better as darkness fell. The sound was perfect, the Hammond (?) organ and Fender Strat recreating the familiar grinding sounds that Deep Purple in particular, were noted for.
One has to wonder if Jens Johansson had to work all this out for himself, or are all of the keyboard settings noted? The heaviest organ sound was during his keyboard solo, it was interesting when the camera closed into reveal it was the synthesiser which was creating this magnificent sound.
Ronnie Romero looked the part. Hector had wondered about the lyrics, which version of the Rainbow songs would be sung. Ronnie James Dio added improvised vocals to the extended endings, thankfully this Ronnie was up for it.
An hour into the set and Hector had a problem. Having stood in the Hector at a Rock Gig stance for approaching three hours, the legs had seized. When I wiggled my toes my head started to go. If The Hector did not get out of here, he would be carried out. Those around me looked mystified as I made my way to the tower. Behind the tower I realised I needed to go for a walk and get the circulation going. Those who I was notionally with this evening spotted the yellow polo shirt, I knew where to return to.
Difficult to Cure had ironically just got underway, Coke, the great cure-all, not available. Bier, not required. Eis Cafe, this should have caffeine and sugar. Returning to Les Autres, Jim was horrified when I suggested I would have – to dance – for the rest of the Gig. By this it was keep the legs, feet and toes all moving. It was touch and go. Jonathan knew he would be suffering when it was time to walk back to the station. This was a good time for a timeout, the drum solo.
Stargazer was played earlier than anticipated, a much slowed down version. Child in Time too felt slowed down. Ritchie loves to play quietly, at volume, mesmerising. Smoke on the Water was the inevitable encore, again starting without – the riff. Fireworks accompanied the chorus, then the first drops of rain, just a few.
The walk back for the delayed train featured audio snippets of the Gig, how many people had recorded minute segments or more? The DVD should be out hopefully before the year is over. 12,000 people, where had they gone? Those waiting for the 23.35 all squeezed on at midnight.
Wandering through Viktualienmarkt just to add a deviation, I spotted the only 
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Fluids
The Vegetable Masala Madras had the appearance of something worthwhile, far from Shorva, Thick with Tomato Seeds and Minimal Masala, in The Hector Style. Potatoes, Cauliflower, Tomatoes, Courgettes, and Carrots all featured, with Ginger Strips and Fresh Coriander toppings. The Vegetables were all cooked as I would wish them, a slight Firmness, who wants Pulped-Vegetables?
The Kick was Serious, Peppery. As I ate, I knew that others would be reaching for Liquid by now, never a smart move. This was one hell of a Spicy Curry! When the Ginger Blast came from the Strips, I realised just how little Flavour this Dish had. The Seasoning was almost non-existent, this may have been the root of the disappointment.
The
Arriving at 12.20, I was very aware that back in Glasgow, The Company were at 
Other news has reached me in the last few hours, the 
Fisch Chettinad or Lamm Chettinad? – asked Jolly.
The Replacement Samsung informed me that at noon today, the temperature would be 12ºC with – Freezing Drizzle. I was out in a t-shirt, the sun was shining, the temperature continually rising. Tomorrow night, rain is forecast, let’s hope the accuracy is just as poor as today’s.
This is it, one of the most Outstanding Curry Experiences known to The Hector. Those who have read these pages before know that what is served at 
The Spice Level was just right, not excessive, though some may have struggled. With Fish Curry, the Seasoning should never be an issue. The Smokey Flavour from Red Chillies is the norm, I could see only Green Chillies today, so I have to wonder what else Chef is adding, the recipes are Mrs. Kunjappu’s, Jolly’s Mother. The Plain Rice is now served in a Sensible Portion, the wastage of previous years no more. However, the Curry is served in the same smaller bowls, so Portion Sizes have shrunk overt the years. The Prices have remained constant.
Did I tell you how Wonderful it was?
This may belong on 
The Lamm Chettinad (€14.95) looked virtually identical to that served at Lunchtime.
Even without Fish, the Seasoning was spot on, the same Ingredients bar one, a similar Experience, the same Gritty Texture, yet Quite Different. It is worth trying both just to verify this.
Chai is always offered and rejected. Milk in Tea?
Knowing that Marg would collect me later, and that Food was required, I resolved to visit 
I was invited to sit on a leather chair but was happy where I was. I had to verify which Son I was dealing with – I’m well down the line – was his humble admission.
Could Russia secure three points in their opening match of Euro 2016? We had watched some of the first half, signal permitted, on the Replacement Samsung. I asked if there was wi-fi, there is – Yay. FYI – Mintchochip.
outlaws in 
The Lamb Desi was presented in a Black Cast Iron Karahi – Piping Hot – yet it is remarkable how quickly these receptacles cool. The Chapatti was Modest and Quartered, not the greatest Girth I have encountered. I was about to Dip into the Oil which collects around the mash, there was none. This was a true Dry and Thick Masala. Was Hector happy? The Masala was closer to Palak/Saag than the preferred Masala with Methi. Perhaps I have to instruct as I do in Helensburgh where Chef Rashid at the 
The Tender Lamb was plentiful. Fingers were used to eat the Meat, the Chapatti employed to scoop the Mash. Yes, more Seasoning required.
Akhtar entered, still in his jacket, he came over to say – Good Evening. Surely around 22.00 people would come out to dine? He saw I was watching the Football. England scored just as I finished my Lamb Desi.
The plentiful Tender Lamb was decanted, the photo ritual completed. There was much more than just Lamb and Masala here. Topped with crunchy Spring Onions, more Mushrooms, Whole Chillies, Tomatoes and a Vegetable I could not identify, were mixed through the Thick Masala. Khadu was a possibility, whatever, these were welcome inclusions, a Variety of Vegetables is always welcomed, and no sign of the 
The Bones were few, the meat content more than Sufficient. Although there was a decent Earthy Flavour from the Lamb Desi, there was a distinct need for more Seasoning. The Spice Level was not noted initially, when I came across the Chillies so the impact was registered. A Big Hit!
With 500g of Stewing Steak to cook for tonight’s dinner, something different was called for. On occasion, some forty five years ago, Mother would present a Tomato-rich, Spicy Beef Dish – 
The result was Splendid apart from a lack of Salt which I have taken off in the 
Marg was well impressed with the new string to Hector’s bow. Sweet and Sour – was how she described the 
Two of the four tables were occupied when I entered, minutes later all four tables were occupied. Burgers and Chips? You must be joking, however, each to their own. Rashid and his assistant Chef were busy, who ate all the Lamb? Those not eating Burgers had chosen from the Daily Specials and so were served first. It was a full half hour before the Karahi and Chapattis were brought by the Lady who helps out.
I know people come to this Blog not to read the meanderings of the author, but just to salivate at the photos. Feast the eyes, this is as good as it gets. There are only four Lamb Chops, but each Chop is way larger than the norm. The Chapattis were Hot, the Karahi was Hotter still, and as for the Oil collecting beside the Masala Mash, too hot to handle.
We had an audience, newcomers were watching Steve and Hector eat Chops – the proper way. One Chapatti as ever was enough, dipped in the Oil to start, then scooping up the Masala. Just how much Methi was there in this Creation? The Masala oozed Methi, Glorious! The Seasoning was at the Limit, ah Steve tends not to like his Curry this well Seasoned. I had to ask, it was within Acceptable Parameters. The Chops had been marinaded, no doubt they had been destined for the Tandoor, however, they had escaped this treatment. Still, Tandoori Chops in this Mash would not be the end of the World. This was Wonderful, to think I nearly had Desi Korma, next time.
Jim has been keen to be taken to the 
behind the counter after his lengthy vacation, Mr. Anwar Sr. was also there to greet us. Omar brought the extra place setting to the table, we would be the only sit-in customers for a while, though the debris on two tables suggested they had been busy.
Two Fillets of Haddock were presented on a platter, Jim was impressed by the sight of this, once he started he knew he was in for a memorable day. Jim and Hector shared half of one Fish, the other went in Dr. Stan’s direction, the intention was that Aileen would have some too. Naveed headed us off at the pass and brought another platter – Chapli Kebab and Fish Pakora, for Aileen. Did I mention she had just ordered two Mains?
Jim was having some of that. We agreed that another photo would be taken afterwards to see how his waistline had expanded during the visit. Dr. Stan passed the remaining Haddock anti-clockwise, eventually it disappeared. Then it was the Fish Pakora that had to be finished. The Chapli Kebab had gone in a flash courtesy of Jim and Aileen. Hector took the last piece of Fish Pakora, for comparison purposes. Fine as it was, nothing competes with 
Yadgar’s
Future visits were being discussed as we ate, Jim will no doubt bring a bus load – ouch! For the record, 
Chef Arshad came out to take his customary bow and was introduced to the First-timers.
Shkoor texted to check we had been well served. You don’t get service like this anywhere else.
The Aftermath
Mein Host was back to assist. I described my preference for Thick and Minimal Masala, he admitted the Dum Pokht, as written here, was served in a – Broth. Hector does not desire Soup. The advantage of hindsight shows how much of a – Stew – the version was as served at 
Marg’s first announcement was Moroccan Olives (£2.00). Under the heading – Afghan Tanür (Tandoor) was Lamb Chops, again sold by weight. Marg selected the £9.00 option, with Hand Cut Chips (£3.00). By now we had the Waitress who advised us that Salad would accompany. This should prove to be enough for Marg this Lunchtime.
Mein Host, now dressed as The Chef, came out to ask Marg how she desired her Chops. Well cooked, towards Carbon – was the reply. 
The Olives, Salad and Dips kept Marg and Hector amused whilst the Mains were prepared. The Karahi would take a while, at 
The Waitress brought The Main Event. The Wrap was Substantial, Four Chops in a Steel Platter were given to Marg. £9.00 for Four Chops. Steep, very steep.
The Naan was twice the size any man could eat. Where was this in 
The Namak Mandai Karahi looked the Authentic Afghan Dish, the Masala was Sufficient, no way Excessive, and Thick. It was simply Spiced, a Salt and Pepper Mash, Glorious. The Lamb was on-the-bone as it has to be. Lamb Chops and Sucky Bones featured, the Best of Both Worlds. Mein Host, The Chef, was out to inspect our progress. He informed me that Asians question his Lamb as being not Soft enough. He assured me the Meat is deliberately served – Slightly Harder – as it is in the area of Afghanistan near the Pakistan Border from where they take their inspiration. The Local Cuisine was filmed, the Spices are flown here, the rest Sourced Locally. This is as Authentic as Afghan Cuisine can be, the Lamb is steamed in Oil, a simple cooking method
Les Autres
A New Chap arrived, The Brother. He too engaged us at length. He suggested that Clive try the Chapli Kebab next time, or he visits 