July and August have come and gone, Hector has not set in Helensburgh since June, there was no need. Hector is not Ubiquitous, though Mein Host, Rashid, may believe otherwise. Tonight is The Big Night Out with Alan and Tracy, a Couples Night.
For 20.30 on a Saturday Night, the Akash (45 Sinclair St, Helensburgh, G84 8TG) was disappointingly quiet, three other tables were occupied. Irfan was at the door to give the customary warm welcome. A New Chap was also on duty, this was Haroon, Son of Rashid. We shall have to establish what has happened to Uncle Ashgar.
A Pile of Poppadoms and The Bits were brought without fuss. The order of Drinks was taken, Irfan could not believe I would eschew the customary Sparkling Water.
Marg loves the Akash Pakora but knows that she could not possibly eat a Main Course thereafter. Initially she asked for a Small Portion, however, Alan and and Tracy said they would assist. They would share a Mixed Combo, Hector had other ideas. One cannot come to the Akash and not have Two Pieces of Chicken Tikka, One Seekh Kebab and Two pieces of Lamb Tikka.
Chust Sublime. Who ate the last piece of Vegetable Pakora also?
We persuaded Irfan that a lengthy gap would be necessary between Starters and Mains. Twenty Minutes, at least.
Enter Haroon
We were introduced by Irfan, here we go. Haroon told us some of his life story, he will be here for as long as … His travels to the USA included an attempt to see Motörhead, cancelled. This was celebrated by Alan who has seen this Beat Combo a few hundred times. Guess who took Alan to his first Motörhead Gig at the Glasgow Apollo? The statue on the window ledge has been re-named Lemmy the Warrior. (Let’s hope Mr. Kilmister recovers his health soonest.)
Enter Sir Howard
Last reported to be en route home from Sheffield via Manchester, Howard turned up at his Local Curry House to collect a Takeaway. We never did establish what, however it could not have been as wonderful as Alan and Hector would be served.
Alan had requested The Hector Special on-the-bone earlier in the week – Methi Gosht Karahi, for two. This left Marg to have the straightforward Lamb Karahi (she prefers boneless) and Tracy to finally choose Chicken Spinach Balti.
Marg would stay with her usual Solitary Chapatti, for Hector it had to be a Keema Paratha. Across the table a Garlic and Coriander Naan plus another Chapatti completed the order. Can we wait some more please? Irfan finally asked – Now?
Sucky Bones
For those who still need convincing, the Bone Marrow adds an extra dimension to the Flavour. The Methi was mixed through the Masala rather than being just a Mass of Herbs as served in a Saag/Palak. The Seasoning was right up there, too intense maybe for some. Alan had asked for Fresh Green Chillies to be stirred in also, Rashid had not held back on the Spice. With the Tenderest of Lamb and Thickest of Masalas, this Curry was nothing short of Perfect. The Akash are now creating – The Wow – as a matter of course. Excellent – was Alan’s verdict. It was.
Few venues serve a Larger Naan than the Akash. The Garlic and Coriander Naan was Fresh and Fluffy, however, Hector was busy celebrating the Keema Paratha. Those who saw Lord Clive’s bulging Paratha last weekend will appreciate the difference. Those were rich in Meat, but the method of preparation left it looking Donner-like. Hector’s preferred style is served in too few venues, – the Individual Grains – of what actually looks like – Mince. Brown, not Pink. 
The Diameter and the Girth meant that no way could this fine Bread be finished, still with the Methi Gosht Karahi – total indulgence. We were here – To Dine.
Marg’s Karahi Gosht was the little brother of what we had been served. The Lamb was very tender, lovely – was Marg’s platitude. She also reminded me how much she had enjoyed her Favourite Pakora. Meanwhile the mystery of Tracy and Lamb continued. She now eats Lamb Chops, but not Lamb, so Chicken Curry it is. Very good as always.
The Ladies had Doggy Bags, Hector left a bit of Masala, Alan cleared his Karahi. Four very Happy Diners.
The Bill
£85.00 A lot of this was Cider, and not all consumed by Alan.
The Aftermath
Irfan related how a Chap waiting in the seating area at the door for his Takeaway asked – Is that Hector?
Indeed, he doesn’t live in Helensburgh, has retired, and still visits. It is good to be recognised! A challenge to any reader – Google – UK’s best curry blog.
Rashid
Mein Host came out of the kitchen to chat. He again marvelled at the coverage in Curry-Heute since my last visit in June, Morocco, France and East Anglia. Deutschland next week, anyone?
Will Hector set foot in Helensburgh again in 2015? Rashid will hope so, meanwhile one hopes the Discerning Diners of Helensburgh will continue to re-discover what they have on their doorstep.
Glen Fruin Farm
A new local attraction has recently opened, animals and cakes, Marg will be back.
The last day of a Real Ale Festival notoriously has limited availability, we were at the Surrey Oaks long enough to verify that the Ali Raj would in fact open today, and to peruse the on-line menu. My Fellow-diners have been to the Ali Raj only once, well one would hardly just be passing by. 
Maggie went for Surf and Turf – Chicken Sundorbon – Chicken and prawns, sweet and sour flavour. Not content with this, Saag Aloo was ordered as a Side, plus Lemon Rice.
Despite having arrived soon after opening time, there was already a substantial number of customers present. A large group sat in the rear – Kiddies Corner. The place was filling up. Having ordered no Starters I expected our Mains to arrive shortly after another table had their Starters, not the case. Time passed, The Full Robin, the Goldfish soothed. The Curry arrived.
Should have been grated – was her suggestion. Where was the Saag Aloo? This only appeared when The Waiter was reminded. A bit greasy on the side – was Maggie’s observation.
Every Grain of Rice was consumed, for once a Perfect-sized Portion. One Green Cardamom was left on the plate by the time I had finished. The Flavour was a Standout, Aromatic, reminiscent of the Rogan Josh served in the 
What was obviously Mein Host arrived halfway through our visit. Rather than give the Calling Card to The Waiter, I caught the eye of Mr. Ali, Mein Host. The Curry-Heute Website could not be shown due to a weak signal compounded by ongoing Vodafone-Samsung Issues.
e reminisced about the days of Bradford Curry when he used to eat Curry, Chapattis included, for £3.00. I had to congratulate Mr. Ali on the quality of Curry served here and promised that we will be back. The extent of the Bradford Connection was not fully established, here lies The Motherload.
Clive loves his Dansaak. Under Dansak Balti, the description was – sweet, sour and spicy. So what on Earth would a Pathia version of this be? Clive had to find out. Balti Chicken Pathia it would be, Pilau Rice was included. The Keema Naan was ordered regardless. We would struggle, we also had a time limit. If we were not on the required train, disaster.
Forty five minutes was the Delivery Time, hopefully this did not apply to the only Diners on the premises.
The Lamb Methi Balti Bhuna was identical to last night’s. The Punjab Balti & Pizza House had just passed The Curry-Heute Test. Once again, the size of the actual Balti was misleading. Packed with Lamb there was insufficient room to have Excessive Masala. The Spice, the Seasoning, this was Intense Curry. To have this on consecutive days was demanding, the mind once again wandered towards Fresh Vegetables. Only one of the two Standard Chapattis was utilised, such was the quantity of Curry.
Murg Purluft was first on the Menu. Chicken layered with Shahi Jeera and Fresh Coriander – how could Hector resist Cumin?
Two Large Pieces of Chicken were presented, there was a hint of a Coating. By the time the two had been cut into eight pieces, suitably sized to eke it out, the result was Pleasant rather than Outstanding.
What came impressed from the off. The Sliced Green Chilli Topping may be simple, but was certainly effective. One expects the Masala in a Bhuna to be Thick, this lived up to expectation and more.
Well-seasoned and with a definite Kick, there was Sufficient Masala rather the needless excess. The Base of the Masala had a quality Onion and Tomato core. Six decent-sized pieces of Lamb were the solids. Each of the Lamb pieces was best halved thus creating a Substantial Portion. The Flavours erupted, this was indeed The Full Bhuna.
The Calling Card was offered and was immediately taken to the counter where Mein Hostess was initially busy on the phone. Hector was introduced to this Charming Lady and the Curry-Heute Website outlined. I related the enjoyment last evening at the only 
The Menu had a Chicken Methi and a Meat Balti Bhuna, Hector required Meat Methi Balti Bhuna, no problem. Lamb Chops have been on Menus this week but at a price, here it was £8.00 for six Lamb Chops, a Half Portion was agreed. The Final Test would be a Keema Paratha (£2.20).
No sooner had I started The Chops when the Balti and Paratha were set before me. Too soon! This is what happens when one eats at this end of the market, so one cannot possibly think of complaining. I had to sneak a Dip of the Paratha into the Oil collecting at the side of the Balti – The Seasoning Blast! Oh yes! This was going to be Fun!
The Chops were finished as soon as the Gnashers permitted and The Main Event was tackled. The Balti does not look huge, the contents were Meat, and More Meat, more than a Man could contemplate. No point counting, way more than enough. The Masala therefore was squeezed into the interstices between the various-sized pieces of Lamb (?). The Oil had maintained the Heat level, the Methi Blast was there, this was very much in the style of Bradford Curry!
The Two Chaps who had returned offered me some of their Chicken Pakora. Sorry, I am stuffed! Introductions were made, the Calling Card given all round. I asked where I should have my next Curry in Peterborough. An impossibly long list was suggested, some venues out of town to the North. The Lunchtime Limit was stated, 
Passage to India (45 Magdalen St., Norwich NR3 1LQ) was Hector’s intended venue for this evening. Having passed by twice on Monday, this looked to be – the right sort of place – despite the formality of The Tablecloths. Somehow an Intervening Opperchancity took Howard, Tracey and Hector a few more metres away from the Kings Head, past Nazma and towards the much rated Ali Tandoori (9-11 Magdalen Street, Norwich NR3 1LE). With three Curry Houses along a hundred metre stretch, there is choice. One has to choose.
We got as far as the bottles of Still Water and Sparkling Water being brought t’table. Have we broken the seals? Hector asked Howard. By this time, we – The Three – had struggled to find anything that a Discerning Curry Fan would become excited about. Dear Reader, we are from Glasgow, the home of Punjabi Cuisine, Bangladeshi Curry simply does not cut the muster. We walked, again…
The Menu in Passage to India also stated – Bangladeshi – on the cover, however, inside there were dishes that were described as Punjabi. There was hope, expectation even.
The Waiter wheeled The Curry towards us. Look at those Dark Red Chillies. Tracey has issues with Red Curry, and prefers that Tomatoes should be way less than most Chefs would dream of utilising in the preparation of a Masala. It was no surprise that this was her focus. Beautifully tender lamb. The sauce was a bit too tomatoey for my taste. Overly acidic through the tomatoes.
Howard was doing a Dr. Stan impression throughout his Lamb Punjab. The number of recorded – Mmmmms – was off the scale. Howard was clearly enjoying his meal very much. Unsurprisingly, he had something to say at the end. Tender lamb (in a) .. onion and tomato based sauce, with a late addition of lemon. The result was a huge lemon hit, and it tasted fresher than the lemon hit at 
The lack of Seasoning was Hector’s fault, I forgot to put this on my list of requirements. Maybe I should have this pre-printed? However, Hector has once again to congratulate a Norwich Waiter for noting and passing on to Chef how to make The Hector Curry. The Meat Quantity was impressive, the Masala was heavy with Chopped Onion. This Curry had Flavour, it’s amazing how many do not. Clove and Cardamom were discovered as the meal was devoured, always a source of the Aromatic. Soup had been avoided, this was as good as one could hope for, possibly.
£37.15. Three contented diners, good value. Wednesday is Chocolate Day!
The Spice Lounge (8-10 Wensum St., Norwich, NR3 1HR) where Hector had 
Quack! Duck Grill Chilli Achari (£11.50) was appreciably dearer than the Mainstream Curry Dishes. Tandoori Duck in a Pickle-infused Masala should provide an alternative to the Lamb Curry overdose yesterday. This must be why Hector also ordered the Keema Rice.
The Bill
Last out, and on a school night. No need to leave the Calling Card, though Mein Host was shown the write-up from yesterday. He knows Hector takes his Curry seriously and will always speak favourably of venues which impress. Add – Spice Lounge – to this list.
The number of Norwich outlets open at Lunchtime is limited, however it is still uncanny that Hector should walk into a Norwich Curry House and find Howard and Tracey waiting for their order. Namaste India (2a Opie St., Norwich NR1 3DN) was the chosen venue. This place is – Vegetarian – I was informed as soon as I took my seat. Not a problem, for Lunch today something Light was desired. Fish is what Hector had in mind in the short walk from the Travelodge. The term – Vegetable Curry – had even flashed through Hector’s mind en route, a premonition? After two very satisfying Curry-Heute Experiences yesterday, Curry-Gestern, Hector was a bit – Lambed-out.
s half way into the restaurant. What I thought was a member of staff having his late night dinner sat through the glass. When his Dining Partner re-joined him I concluded otherwise. They were given the Soupiest of Curry, this had to be avoided.
What came impressed immediately. The Masala was Minimal, enough to shroud the Tender Lamb. The Masala was Thick, the Spice was in one’s face – almost Mexican Chilli.
The Bill