Paris, France, as the citizens of the USA like to say. We never knew why until a certain movie came out. Oh, there’s one in Texas! It’s true, the Eiffel Tower is seen from every window in this city, there must be hundreds of them.
With over two hundred Curry Houses to choose from Hector is in the delightful position of being able to dismiss the majority instantly. Google – Punjabi Restaurants – that has narrowed the field down considerably. Hopefully the Restaurateurs will have some representation of the Cuisine from the Favoured Region of the Sub-continent
Technology is great when it works. With Google Maps in hand and a Paris Metro App, getting around Paris is a skoosh. Yesterday I had a frustrating ten minutes trying to get through to Vodafone to discover a bar had been put on my access to t’Internet. Their automated responses suggested I use t’Internet to find the problem and then cut me off. The Chap I eventually spoke to admitted they are aware of the shortcomings of their Customer Service access – I want to speak to a person!
Villa Punjab (15, rue Leon Jost – 75017, Paris, France) is not far from Porte de Clichy where Marg and Hector are resident for five nights. The Plan is a Lunchtime Curry then something Parisien of an evening – Pizza, Spaghetti Bolognaise, the usual rubbish…
Villa Punjab was reportedly open early afternoon then closed until evening. Have The Populous not realised that for Hector, 15.00 is Curry O’clock?
We walked in, nobody else was there. A small venue with about a dozen tables. The walls all had mirrors which creates the illusion of a larger venue. Mon Host brought The Menu, the Lamb section was very Mainstream. I was hoping to avoid the Sauce Pot. Keema Matter should surely get around this. This has to be prepared separately. A Pratha would accompany. The Bread prices were on the High side – €4.50 – for what would no doubt be Small in comparison to that served in the UK. Still, one does not have Rice with Keema Mutter.
Marg’s lunchtime tactic when Hector has Curry is to have a Starter only. She departed from Samosa and chose Pakora Allo. Hector refrains at this point from making any further reference to Café René.
No sooner had we sat down when another customer came in and took a corner seat. His meal arrived first. The Karahi was on the Small side, the contents looked like a Creamy Soup. That I did not want.
Mon Host had a Lady Partner who moved between bar area and kitchen. Was she La Chef? This was never ascertained.
The Dips for the Pakora were placed on the table and a stand sat over these. The Pakora would be presented a la High Tea. Novel, but as Marg was having the lot, the platter was then moved to cover her plate. No decanting.
Pakora can be anything The Chef wants it to be. This interpretation was different. Flat pieces of something in batter. Marg cut one open. The inside was empty. Empty Pakora? The Potato had not been chopped into fine pieces as one would mix with Onion, but had been left as the unique vegetable. This was not Potato Pakora but Pakora Potato. Eh? There was the distraction of the Salad surrounding the Pakora. Marg ate the lot but still aired that she found the Dish to be – Disappointing.
The Keema Matter was presented in the same size of Karahi seen earlier. Due to being filled with Mince and Peas the Quantity appeared to be greater than the Co-diner had received in terms of Solids. This was a comparatively Wet Keema Mutter but thankfully not as Wet as I have encountered, the Jaipur in Köln holds that unenviable record. The First Dip of Buttery Paratha was a – Gosh! I have had some Excellent Food in Morocco in the past ten days, but nothing tasted as good as this. Coriander was definitely there, was this Methi on the Hector Palate? There was an overall Earthy Flavour from the Keema. The Peas gave a Subtle Sweetness to the Dish. The Kick was Decent.
As anticipated, the Paratha was not Huge, but – it had girth – as someone once said. The Periphery was sufficiently Flaky to impress. Again comparisons can be made with the pathetic example served in Casablanca at the India Palace earlier in the week. This was a Real Paratha.
Hector was in a Punjabi Restaurant eating a Worthy Keema Mutter. Just how good did The Hector feel today?
The Bill
€28.00. This will set the standard for Curry Prices in Paris.
The Aftermath
The Calling Card was accepted and in a hideous rendering of Franglais, I explained the orogeny. Interest was expressed, the Card was scrutinised.
The Lady, who was ever-present, confirmed the presence of Methi when I mentioned – Fenugreek.
I informed Mon Host that I planned to visit only Punjabi Curry Houses in Paris. He mentioned something about the different levels of Spice.
But Spice is not what I am necessarily seeking, it’s – The Taste!
India Palace technically was technically on our route home. Heading inland before we reached the Grand Mosque towards Boulevard Nafa, we found the India Palace (23-25 Rue Ahmed Mokri, Quartier Racine, Casablanca, Maroc) with relative ease. It was closed.
t tried, it was not available.
Poppadoms and The Dips were provided, the Poppadoms had the much welcomed embedded Cumin Seeds. This gives such an edge. I decided not to tackle the Lime Pickle less the Palate become distorted.
Four Shami Kebabs filled the plate, so much for another Source which mentioned Small Portions. Marg’s Salad was Substantial and well presented. Why this was – Tossed – who knows. It was the polite thing to offer Marg one of the four, before I knew it she had snaffled another half. Some Salad came my way in exchange, nice.
Hassan was seeing out his last customers of the day at his current business – a Gym, a far cry from the success that was one of Glasgow’s Finest Curry Houses. Marg went into the apartment to accompany Amel whilst Hassan took me round his work premises.
A Tagine was placed on the table – Fish. Hector had dropped enough hints 
Hector has been cooking Moroccan-style for some eighteen months but has yet to try Fish. Here lay a mass of Fish shrouded in Vegetables and Spice. From the outset it was evident that there was more than the four of us would ever manage. Tagine can be so close to Curry, this was a classic example. The Spices and Herbs, the lack of a Soup
y Masala, even before trying it the Pedigree was there. The Flavours – Mmmmmm. There was Tangy Blast at one point. The Olives, had they been Black originally? I ate, I studied, this I shall try to replicate soon. Truly Wonderful Food.
Good to his word, Hassan drove us all to the Plage/Beach for an evening stroll. Picking up his youngest en route we now had two little girls to amuse Marg. The Hotel where Hassan found Amel was shown to us. He went to look for a Moroccan Chef for his Glasgow Restaurant and found Amel. The rest is…
As we left the Medina this afternoon there was a brief financial transaction, Two Large Potatoes, One Khadu, Cilantro (Hector is abroad and so used – Foreign-speak – for Fresh Coriander). Tomato Puree was bought in our local store.
Rarely has Marg enthused so much about a Hector Curry. Served without Bread or Rice this was the full blown assault on the palate. The Seasoning and Spice level were exactly how one would hope. The Masala was Gloopilly-Thick. The Potatoes had been cooked through, it was a matter of stirring them into the Masala then topping with the Herbs. This looked like Curry, it most certainly was.
Hassan arrived just after 23.00. One is still learning about Moroccan customs. He brought his friend Mustafa who had very little English. From the moment Hassan entered the apartment he could sense the aroma of Curry. Strange how people walk in to Hector’s House and remark on this.
Drinks were ordered first, a Bottle of Rose at 250 Dirhams (£16.50) was ordered to share. Hector needed Bier too, a 33cl Bottle of Casablanca would complete the moment. Why is Bier always £7.00 a pint in 
Goats Cheese and Fresh Figs? This sounded like a Splendid Starter, to share. With Balsamic drizzled over the Figs, Cheese and the Lettuce Ballast this was remarkable. This will most certainly be served one day at Hector’s House.
Stroganoff needs a blast of Ginger, at least, to give it the required impact. When it arrived this evening with Tagliatelle, I was taken aback. This was a surprisingly good combination. The Quality of the Sauce was Outstanding. A Complexity of Flavours were contained there-in. This was easily one of the Best Non-Curry Meals Hector has enjoyed in years.
Marg was served Five Lamb Chops shrouded in a Herb coating. Artichoke and what Marg believes was a Mash of Turnip accompanied. Additionally, small Sides of Vegetables were placed on the table- Broccoli, Onion Rings, Eggplant, Beetroot and Crispy Celery. The Overall Quantity was Perfect, the prices were also reasonable at around £10.00 per Main Course.
To prolong the Pleasure there had to be Ice Cream. There was a choice of various concoctions, we both chose Vanilla and Caramel which came with a Chocolate Sauce and topped with a Glace Cherry.
The setting of Les Jardins de Bala is spectacular. The aforementioned minaret is well illuminated. The pool and interior courtyard of the Hotel also lend their ambience to this magnificent setting. One learns quickly in 
The French Menu at the door had convinced the Hector that something approaching Lamb Curry would be available. For those who take the Chicken route, the Menu was heading further East. Les Jardins de Bala advertises itself as an Indian and Asian Restaurant.
Bier and Wine were available, as ever Hector chose the Sparkling Water, ice cold. Two small Poppadoms were presented, the classic European Poppadoms with embedded Cummin Seeds. Always a good welcome. Starters were blanked, the appetite takes a while to recover in desert heat. 50 Dirhams (£3.30) for a Raita did look Suspicious. No Lamb Chops.
Around half a dozen good sized pieces of Lamb were smothered in a thin sauce then topped with Chunky Vegetables – half-cooked Onions, Fresh Tomatoes, Chillies, and Four Pieces of the Offending Vegetable. Lots of 
This was a Thai Curry, nothing Hector would choose. With Lamb and Potatoes, Marg instantly commented upon the Kick. She had not asked for – Spicy. Coconut and Cashew (Gesundheit!) Nuts too, certainly not a – Hector Curry. Marg thoroughly enjoyed her Dish but realised Chicken would have lent itself more to this style of Cuisine. Marg also commented on how chewy the Lamb was.
The Keema Naan stood apart due to the air pocket. The Mince interior was Minimal and had the tell-tale Donner appearance. By no means large, it did the job. The Garlic and Coriander Naan was Herb-rich. Both very fresh on arrival. Perhaps pricey for their size.
After a four hour stint at the Glasgow Real Ale Festival 2015 (G-RAF), Lord Clive of Crawley and Hector took a timeous break. The 
The Modest Salad was presented and remained untouched, however, the accompanying Hot and Spicy Red Dip was welcomed. This would complement the Lamb Chops.
The Lamb Chops were Hot, Spicy, Meaty, Savoury, Umami! One could just sit and order Portion after Portion, but that would defeat the purpose of the visit.
You’re Friends of (Dr.) Stan – he asked rhetorically.
The Real Man’s Curry arrived, Lamb Karahi topped with Fresh Ginger Strips and Fresh Coriander. The Methi was in the Masala. Clive’s Keema Mutter came in a Soup Bowl, this was deceptive. The Chapattis were Piping Hot, Light and Fluffy, Magnificent. The First Dip…. Rashid knows…
Clive was making headway with what was a Mass of Keema Mutter.
Those who have kept up with Curry-Heute in recent weeks will sense the Inevitability that Hector is fated to eat Chicken Curry in the near future, such is my current appreciation of Chicken Tikka as served in the Mixed Combo at Helensburgh’s 
Lord Clive is Resident, Marg is in Wakefield, Bier and Hockey, respectively. It is the second day of the Glasgow Real Ale Festival 2015 (G-RAF) and Hector is back to work already, as a Volunteer. Volunteer, a term that takes me back to 
The Head Waiter moved some tables from the area where folk were queuing into the main dining area, our table was created. Hector is known at this establishment. The Sparkling Water was ordered, we were off…
Bypassing the array of Starters, Mr. Baig asked if we had enjoyed our Starters.
The Hector led the way, Lamb Bhoona, a Standard Curry from Yesteryear. Helping oneself meant the excess Masala need not be taken for what is traditionally a Dry Curry, the first encounter of this model was back in the 1970s. Keema Aloo, not on the standard 
En route along the multitude of pots on offer, Irram pointed to a plate of Fresh Ginger, Chillies and other Toppings – For the Haleem. Not tonight, well maybe later.
The Keema Aloo was much anticipated and was loved by all. It is amazing how The Company have taken to this over the years. The Keema Aloo was Absolute Perfection. Probably the easiest Curry to make, however achieving the correct balance of Salt and Methi takes skill. At the time of writing, one looks at the photo,…. Mmmmm.
Trotters, Paye, a Dish which most certainly has its roots in Poverty, the attraction was Meat on-the-bone. The Reality was a Fatty Residue. Done it, don’t need to again. Paye makes Haleem seem like a Luxury.
The Daal Kadu would be The Sanity Claus. The Haleem was considered, in fact most of The Company tried it, no complaints. OK, another chance.
The Lamb Karahi was the final Great Attraction, served on-the-bone, This was more than enough. Imagine I had Starters, I would never have reached this far. What is it about Buffets?
The Lamb in the Pilau appears to have been smothered by the Haleem. I still don’t get Haleem. To Hector, Kadu is a Vegetable related to the Pumpkin and should feature in the Curry-Heute Vegetable Curry Recipe (as yet unwritten). This was Courgette, not Kadu. Still, Courgette in a Curry, a first. Very Pleasant. And finally, the Lamb Karahi... there was Karela embedded in the Masala which I had not spotted when spooning. The Bitter Vegetable. This was Superb.
The day has finally dawned, Hector’s last day of work, last day of school. It’s about time I left school. Work no more, well not until tomorrow when I volunteer to help man the Foreign Bar at the Glasgow Real Ale Festival 2015 (G-RAF), see you there.
Curry was always going to be how Hector said his Farewell to Helensburgh. The 
The Main Course had to be the Dish Hector was denied on Monday – Achari Gosht. One Lady had Lamb Rogan Josh, the Dish Hector has eaten at this Venue beyond all others – Respect. The other Lady ordered Chicken Rogan Josh, one out of two… Steve stuck with his now favoured Lamb Methi. Ah, Methi.
Irfan insisted on fetching Rashid from the kitchen as I left for the train. Tonight may well be my last Thursday Night 
Just in case there is still someone out there who is not aware, this is the week of Hector’s Retiral. Thirty-Four Years Service at Lomond School, Helensburgh, one of Scotland’s top Independent Schools. This may explain the propensity for Curry-Heute Reports from far and wide, the holidays have been put to good use. With an Anticipated Audience in excess of the seating capacity of Helensburgh’s 
Favourable comments about the Food served this evening are too many to recall. Strangely, quite a few people admitted they had not been to the 
