Located a block to the north-west of Schlenkerla, Bamberg’s finest source of Bier, I became aware of Samrat & Spices – Modern Indian Kitchen & Bar (Obere Sandstrasse 32, 96049 Bamberg Deutschland) last year. It seemed too good to be true, a pukka restaurant serving Indian Food and earning great reviews, in Bamberg! In 2022 it was given the swerve, today, well why not?
Sources, various:
This is my absolute favorite Indian restaurant in Germany and had a great experience.
The ambience and the food was great. The staffs were friendly. !
The menu, the decor, the ambiance will definitely remind you of India if you have alreday (sic) been there or stayed there.
Having been to India and also dined in a few hundred Curry Houses across the planet, the Hector is mystified as to how this venue could achieve such positive ratings.
My Curry was rank.
Arriving just after 14.00 I was greeted and sent to a small table between two larger ones. My then vantage was in full view of an elaborate bar. The menu confirmed my original impression, Samrat is as much about selling booze as food. I had to wade past the cocktails to reach the Curry.
To my left was the inner room with some stunning wall decoration. A large group of Asian diners had this, the rest of us were sat in the entrance room. With Indian staff and Indian customers, all was set up to be … well, we’ll see.
Drinks were sorted first, a 0.75l bottle of Aqua Morelli Frizzante (€6.50).
If Samrat operates as a bar-restaurant, then I could envisage customers having drinks with Starters as nibbles and spend a while here. However, I have read of a chap finishing his food and being asked to give up his table. Being early afternoon, everyone around me was here primarily for food. I was about to witness some very strange creations.
The given descriptions for Lamm Vindaloo (€17.90) and Lamm Bhuna (€17.90) listed standard ingredients, no creamy nonsense. Whether or not – Bhuna – was taken seriously is always a good meter for a first visit to any Curry House. All main courses are served with Salad and Rice. All Bread to be paid for.
The young chap who appeared to be the head waiter brought his pad and took the Order. I enquired as to Spice Level:
Normal – was the somewhat abrupt reply.
So, no alternatives then?
Having taken my photo of the pretty blue bottle, I settled down for the wait. Wait? There was none. My Curry felt as if it had arrived in a puff of smoke. Another young chap had brought the food, oh, that’s how we’re serving it then?
The Salad, more German in style, was deceptive. Beneath the adornments lay a mass of Lettuce, hardly inspiring. With the Rice to one side of the plate, it felt logical to rearrange it. As ever in Europe, there was more Rice than a Hector would manage.
Lamm Bhuna
A Creamy Masala, why? At least it had a decent level of viscosity, but this was hardly – Bhuna Dry. Ginger Strips and Coriander formed part of the elaborate Toppings, these would be mixed through on decanting. The Meat count reached double figures, there was certainly enough.
The Seasoning registered first then immediately dissipated. In its place was an alien Flavour, not from any Spice listed on the menu, nothing known to the Hector. There was a slight Tang, but no sign of Pickle. The Taste was somewhere between Sour and Bitter, potentially horrible. What on Earth had Chef added to this creation? Vinegar seemed to be a possibility. Allowing myself the benefit of moving forward an hour, the – afterglow – suggested Cabbage. Vinegar and Cabbage, who would ever combine these?
I tried some of the remaining Masala on its own, the unpleasantness was less apparent, but eating this Curry was certainly going to be a chore.
As unfortunately has to be accepted in the world of Mainstream Curry, the Tender Meat gave back no Spice. Today this might have been a blessing. The – normal – Spice Level was maybe below – medium. The challenge in this Curry was not the heat but overcoming the fear of up-chuck.
The Seasoning returned, other Flavours did not emerge. Garlic, Coriander and Cumin were listed in the given description, plus Garam Masala which of course could be Chef’s creation. What Indian Chef passed this Curry for muster? I was determined to make enquiries.
Meanwhile, on my right, a young lady had ordered Lamm Seekh Kebab (€17.90). The solitary Seekh Kebab was large, served in pieces and sat beside the most complex array of Ballast ever seen. How else could they justify this price? To my left, another customer had a plate with flat patties and again Ballast, hideous.
I stuck my head into the large room to see the décor, impressive, but taking a photo would have been intrusive. The waiter who had taken my Order presented the Bill at the bar.
The Bill
€24.40 (£21.37)
The Aftermath
I handed over the Calling Card and introduced Curry-Heute.
Your Curry was totally different from anything I’ve ever eaten.
This was the lead line to the hoped for discussion.
Sorry, no English.
Abruptness understood.
2023 Menu extracts
Bamberg is for Bier
The charming Hostess directed me to a table in a recess sitting opposite another solo diner who was nearly finished. Having established I was not having Buffet, the extensive menu was provided. A half litre glass of Sprudel (€2.70) was ordered. Sparkling Water is cheaper than Bier, not something to assume in this part of the World. 
Inclusive Rice, in a Euro-Curry House, the karahi was brimming with Basmati. I took a plateful, the rest was discarded, wasted. 
Behold the Soupy Curry. Strips of Onion and Syboes floated on top of the thin, yellow Masala. One piece of Lamb broke through the surface. The absurdity of the moment was duly noted, this was the style of Curry which the Hector avoids at all costs. Add to this the prior acceptance that this interpretation of – Vindaloo – would feature Coconut. No Potato in a Vindaloo? 
Creamy with a kick – was the first tasting note. The Coconut had not overwhelmed. Thankfully, this Curry was not sweet. The lack of complexity was apparent, not the usual array of Spices. However, as I ate on so a level of respect would develop.
Creamy, not too Spicy, Marg would have loved this Curry. How she would have managed the Masala with her customary Chapatti is another issue. This Curry required Rice, mountains of Rice. 
Back to Curry at Himalayan, it was pointed out to me that the locals like to dip their Bread in the Soupy Sauce. This is something I had never considered. I have been given many a shake of the head at home when considering Rice with a Dry Curry. Dry, north Indian/Punjabi Curry requires Bread, Soupy demands Rice. 
As satisfaction was not being achieved on Saturday at 
Those who keep up with these pages, and I thank all who do, even Dr. Stan who sneaks a look especially when he knows he gets a mention, will know that Curry in 
13.00 was the originally declared time for anyone who wanted to join the Hector, Steve considered this to be too early. When he suggested 15.00, Dr. Stan reckoned his vast Frühstuck would be digested by then. We would be three, Steve’s first visit. After last night’s excesses at 
Again leading the way, Dr. Stan had helped himself to a bottle of Mango Lassi, Steve, a can of Fanta. They were sitting at the far end of the spacious room when the Hector arrived at 15.01. Adnan greeted, on 
As expected, my Curry arrived moments after the others’. The Naan was a realistic size, risen, puffy, Poppy Seeds featured to one side. With Karahi it has to be Bread, Rice remains the preference for Desi Korma. As is the European way, a mountain of Rice was presented. It’s amazing how they can serve so much when it’s inclusive, yet at home we pay over the odds, for what? The Hector took a good portion, Dr. Stan proved he could eat even more, Steve didn’t touch his allocation.
Strips of a notional green something or other sat atop the Curry, the karahi was filled to the brim. I stopped counting the Meat at double figures, no frustrating – Tapas – here. At 
Bloody Hell! – entschuldigung.
These were cuts I couldn’t recognise, no Sucky Bones, no Ribs. One bone stood out, Chapatti John may know. Soft, Tender Lamb, full of – Lamby – Flavour, some bits giving more, a couple surprisingly – Dry. Most pieces could be tackled with a fork, I had to resort to using a knife for the final three, then fingers. There’s nothing to beat getting tore in. The Spiciest Korma ever encountered, the Hector was truly stuffed at the end. Bloody Hell – yes I had to say it aloud once more. There were two runny noses, yet there was no duress. This was how to both Spice and Season a Curry.
From across the table was heard a series of – mmmmms – The Good Doctor was sharing the experience. This was only his second visit to 
Having seen his fair share of – kilos – I think Steve was taken aback by the sheer quantity of Meat on the flat karahi. The same green Herb was accompanied by Coriander and a swirl of – Yoghurt? The Dry, Thick and absolutely Minimal Masala shrouded the Lamb. One would need a microscope to find the Oily residue. Despite the lack of bones, this looked magnificent. I shall have to keep this photo to hand and wave it in front of waiters and ask it their Karahi Gosht looks like this, or the plate of 
Steve certainly enjoyed the finest Curry he has ever had in
The Aftermath
A Tapas venue in the West End, here we go again. After the visit to 
Located behind the Three Judges, which itself was formerly The Tower Bar / Bennett’s, the Rickshaw premises appear to be a new build. The Springwell Tavern may well have occupied this site back in the day, others can fill in the last fifty years. 
Arriving at 13.15, the Hector was the first customer of the day, by 14.00 we were nine. The staff outlined the Vegetarian Tiffin (£11.50) and Non-Vegetarian Tiffin (£13.50) to these customers. With – Chicken – as the Meat, Hector had no interest there. 
The charming waitress offered – water for the table. Instead, the order for 330ml of Sparkling Water (£1,95) was placed. A pukka glass, we are in the West End. 
Lamb Handi (£6.95) could be more representative of the Masala served at Rickshaw, a free rein for Chef. To accompany there had to be an Interesting Vegetable. 
Desi Bombay Aloo (£5.95) ticked the box, the humble Potato is often an excellent inclusion in any Curry. 
The food arrived after an appropriate wait. As with 
The Methi Paratha was served in a Tiffin tray, in five pieces. Wholemeal, slightly toasted, there were but flecks of the glorious Herb mixed into the dough. 
The parameters which define a quality Paratha have been written oft: thickness, layering, flakiness, the spiral, buttery, none of these were present. This was not a Paratha as is recognised in Curry-Heute. 
Potato wedges, this was different, sat in the seemingly not Soupy Masala. Finely chopped Onions had been added to the presumably blended Masala. Flecks of Coriander had been stirred in. On transferring to the dinner plate, the Masala did run, so Soupy then. The quantity of Potato justified the price, a decent portion for – Tapas. Finger food, not. 
The Masala appeared to have a better consistency, again finely chopped onions were mixed in. I counted seven, respectably sized, pieces of Meat as I squeezed this Curry on to the empty part of the plate. Avoiding cross contamination was the name of the game. The Handi Masala initially appeared to be darker, on the plate, hard to spot any difference. 
The all important first dip of Paratha into the Bombay Masala revealed no blast of Flavour. Mildly Spiced, was sensed. The receptors awaited, something, anything. The level of Seasoning was approaching the non-existent, ergo what chance the Curry? The Potato had not absorbed Flavour, well what was there to absorb? How long had they been in each others company? The whole point of Potato in Curry appears to have been missed. 
The Wholemeal flour in the Paratha was overwhelming everything else. By abandoning this shockingly poor Paratha, which was already turning crispy, the taste-buds were invigorated. I could taste Lamb Curry! An improvement, but the lack of Seasoning meant there was no way back. 
I have to accept that the Mainstream Curry Houses serve food pitched for the masses, thankfully not everyone knows of Glasgow’s Southside Curry Cafes, oops. I found it hard to believe that what was served today was from a Glasgow Curry House. In Europe, one tends to review from the perspective of the Curry being second division. I do not expect to make this adjustment in my home city. 
A timeous return to a favourite Curry Cafe was required. Marg and Hector arrived at 
Six chaps were feasting at our usual spot, the far corner became ours. Aqeel started to recite our Order as he approached the table, however, I was keen to confirm 
A kilo of Lamb Lahori Karahi (£34.99) it would be. A Roti (£1.50) for Marg, a Till Nan (£2.99) for Hector. For reasons not fully explained, Til Naan was not available, Aqueel promised – something.
Glorious! The mass of Lamb on-the-bone was shrouded in a pulp-like pale Masala, no – Red – here. Coriander Leaves, Green Chillies cut lengthwise, and Ginger Strips were abundant on top. Actual liquid was at an absolute minimum, once settled there proved to be no Oil slick. 
Peppery! This was as close to Namkeen Karahi as one could find without ordering it as such. The Seasoning was astonishing, right up there – brave. Salt and Pepper the fundamental ingredients of this simple Karahi. Simple? I’ve tried, this takes a special skill. Some Green Chillies were consumed, many were abandoned, there was no need to change the nature of what lay before us.
No Sucky Bones, no ribs, from where this Meat came I know not. There was something with the appearance of a Lamb Chop in there. It was evident earlier this year that the actual quality of the cuts has improved since the early days of DumPukht. Nothing – offal – here. Beautiful Lamb, giving back so much, the antithesis of Mainstream Curry. 
Having gone up to enquire about Dessert, Marg returned to the table with the promise of Chai which Aqeel was preparing for – the six. 
I could make out enough of her subsequent Farsi(?) conversation with Aqeel to confirm that she was reporting back. 
Amit Sharma @ The Lansdowne (7A Lansdowne Crescent, Glasgow G20 6NQ), is one of three Curry Houses north of the river which Hector has 
Various menus were provided, wine dismissed, as was the Saturday & Sunday lunch (£16.00) offer. Street Food / Tapas – featured prominently in the main menu, not why I was here. Two sections featured Curry of interest: Fish & Seafood, Some Old Glasgow Favourites. Boatman Fish Curry (£16.00) is one for another day. South Indian Ginger Lamb (£14.00) should guarantee the avoidance of both Chicken and 
To accompany, Rice, to be discussed. Wonderful as they might be, the Hector was not paying £4.25 for a Malabar Parantha. Such is the price of Bier, I wonder how many people come here for nibbles and stay on for the evening? Maybe I just don’t understand the setup. 
For Hector, a large bottle of Sparkling Water (£4.25). The Order was relayed, I enquired about the Rice. Basmati, Fried and Lemon & Cashew a la 
How to get some photos? The chap behind the bar acknowledged as I took the broad shot. The Rogues’ Gallery did not feature any recognisable faces. Hector knows no rogues? 
Just how many does The Lansdowne seat? This place is spacious, enormous. 
The sliced Red Chillies were different, the distinctive aroma of South Indian Curry was already wafting towards the Hector receptors. It all looks a bit – lonely. The plate resembled a flat karahi. The area was such that the Masala spread thinly across the base. Had this Curry been served in a more standard karahi/handi then it most certainly would have appeared to be – Soupy. Without the dinner plate, adding the Rice here would have been a major negative. Adding Rice to Curry is a – no-no. 
I counted to nine as I arranged the decent sized pieces of Lamb on the Rice. As is the custom, some of the Masala was retained for the end game. Before me sat a potentially worthy meal. Meat and Masala, maybe I was already wishing there was an Interesting Vegetable in there. 
The plate was cleared, every grain of Rice managed, a Curry to be enjoyed, however, it would be remiss not to state that the Flavours here were not as intense as those found in other venues serving South Indian Curry, north of the River Clyde e.g. 
Dinner for one – what’s in the freezer? An unusually large portion of leftover, cubed Roast Beef, and Tomatoes which were frozen before the trip to Hellas/Italia. Curry-Heute – and why not? This also gave the opperchancity to try using the Nutmeg and Mace that were purchased a bit since. These new additions were ground together. Bay Leaves, Cloves, Coriander Seeds, Cumin Seeds and Black Cardamom would remain – whole, no Cinnamon. Kashmiri Chilli and Turmeric were the powdered Spices, oh, and some Garam Masala for later. 
The result was a red-rich Masala with the texture of pulp, does this define – Karahi?
The thick Tomato-based Masala Mash was something to be proud of. The Hector is getting better at achieving this. The Seasoning was well pitched, of course. The Spice Level was not overly demanding, this Curry was not about – heat – but trying to create something that differed from the Hector norm.
Yes, I could get used to this. Whatever I cook typically tastes like a Hector Curry. Every local Takeaway tastes like a Clydebank Curry. Something different, and enjoyable, at last.
One month to the day since 
Marg, wary of doing further damage to her top lip, would have Mince Curry as part of the Lahore Lunch (£7.95) deal. This comes with an option for two Chapattis and Vegetable Pakora. Mushroom Rice (£3.50) always works well with a 
The Pakora arrived almost in an instant, three pieces, two large. Hector’s share was much appreciated. Warm-hot, with a decent Spice Level, fresh and tasty, how I have missed this. 
The Chapattis were in the style of the preferred: traditional – Tawa cooked. Marg only required one of the two. The Mushroom Rice bowl was so hot it was dropped on the cold pate as I distributed the contents. The Rice itself was tasty, the Mushrooms a bit – iffy. I’ve had better fresh Mushrooms. The quantity always looks to be meagre when compared with the absurdity of a European serving of Basmati. The reality, every grain would be eaten, an elegant sufficiency therefore. 
I counted the Meat well into double figures, no skimping here. An isolated Sucky Bone stood out, four more would be revealed, one rib. Quality Lamb – evidently. 
Warm-hot once again, piping hot food at 
The smaller karahi for the lunchtime menu, you get what you pay for. The dark Lamb Keema with Coriander stirred in, had minimal Oil collecting on the 
periphery. A spoonful crossed the table. The Seasoning was instantly apparent. That my Achari had even more Flavour was also realised. Marg likes her Keema, though today no Aloo or Mutter. 
The Bill
As storm Babet draws to a close in the East of Scotland, the West remains remarkably calm. A dry day in Helensburgh, always worthy of celebration. 
Five years have passed since Hector and Marg dined with Alan and Tracy in Helensburgh. 
Desi Lamb (£14.95) was on the – Special Menu – board. Alan was quite specific: 
Six large pieces of Fish in a Spicy Batter, served – hot-hot – and definitely for sharing. The Hector declined a piece but did secure a Soupçon. Hot and freshly made, when Fish Pakora is served thus, it is magnificent. 
Hot plates, hot food, always a good start. Topped with Ginger Strips and sliced Bullet Chillies, this was – the business. I counted eight pieces of Meat at the start, three on-the-bone. A standard portion at 
Hector is back in the land of quality Meat, tender, soft, Lamb giving of Flavour. The depth of Flavour was beyond anything I’ve had of late. A rich Curry, the restaurant price felt fully justified. Alan assured me that with regards to this Dish – I’ve had it better. Just how good can it get?
The leftovers across the table became Takeaway.
The mission continues, to cook a Desi Korma at home as good as say 
The ingredients were assembled, no Tomatoes, and 300g seemed a lot of Yoghurt. The cooking instructions, written in many languages both inside and outside the box, as ever had a glaring omission. Much was made of cooking the 300g of Onions and removing them, but only 60g would ever be returned. With the ingredients of the mix not in English, and no mention of Seasoning, discretion would be required. Determined not to make a – bland Korma – Green Chillies would be added. 
A decent Masala Mash was created. Whole Spices were revealed, Green Cardamom and Peppercorn. Given the self imposed rule, the Seasoning had to be tested before serving. Not bad at all, no more Salt required. 
Three of the six Chicken Thighs looked like a portion. This was possibly my first Chicken in a month. We know what’s coming next.
