Kaiserhoff Gas Hob Tandoor

Posted on October 23, 2013 by Hector

It’ll Never work

When the Outlet that sold Hector his Aluminium Wok (with a Lid) some years back emailed to feature a Gas Hob Tandoor, well… A well known Media Site concentrating on Video Clips provided the Basic Evidence. Lamb Chops, Tandoori-style, cooked at home? It was worth a try, there’s always the Cupboard under the Kitchen Sink if it’s a con.

The Tandoor arrived just before the October Break, it was Blue, good. Tonight was the only Window of Opperchancity else it would be next week before it could be tried out. Even tonight, time was limited. And there were no Instructions with The Device.

A quick visit to KRK on Woodlands Rd was required to purchase Lamb Chops, two Chicken Drumsticks (what?) and a slab of Marinated Fish. What sort of Fish? Masala Fish! The Fish was Frozen, they don’t sell it Thawed any-more I was informed. I also had to cheat and buy a Jar of Tandoori Paste, with time I can make better. At last, they had Frozen Methi. I was also offered Five Bunches of Fresh Coriander for £1.00. Next time.

The Tandoori Paste was rubbed around the Chops and the Chicken (after scoring, of course). One hour to Marinate, not anywhere near enough. I didn’t want to be eating at 22.00. I had considered a Spicy Rice but at the last minute changed my mind to a Masala and Boiled Rice. I finally found more Video Clips of Gas Hob Tandoor in action, two showed Masala being prepared. Now I discover there are at least three versions of This Device on the Market, the Kaiserhoff has the Shallowest Tray, not ideal for the mass production of a Masala. All versions produced Authentic Looking Tandoori Meat. Video Clips have no Taste. And there were no Instructions with The Device.

The Onions were crudely chopped – Very poor, Hector. This was the first time I have tried Mustard Oil, inspired by Rick Stein’s Mouth Watering TV Saga. Four Bricks of Frozen Methi were added, again far too soon. This is terrible. I’m in a hurry.

The Half-cooked Masala was scooped onto the Tray without Holes. The Gas Hob Tandoor is meant to cook more quickly than a Conventional Pot/Oven. Fifteen Minutes was the time period gleaned from Various Video Clips. Fifteen Minutes Later there was evidence of Blackening at the edges of the Masala. The Masala was decanted to the Faithful Pot and Fresh Coriander added, a few more minutes should do. The Masala was Thick and how I describe – Dry. There was very much a Green Hue, Herbs, Methi, Coriander. That’s the way I like it, Baby, ….

Now for The Moment

Two Slivers had been cut from the Slab of Fish, the only way allow defrosting in the available time. Four Chops had been set aside, Hector has a Cunning Plan. Fifteen Minutes? The Tray with Holes had the Chicken, Lamb and Fish tastefully arranged around the Perimeter. Confidence levels were rising. Marg was home after Five Minutes. The House had the Aroma which I consider Normal. I could see Black forming on the Meat, the Fish was doing nothing. It should be ready in the same time as the Meat, hopefully.

The Base of the Gas Hob Tandoor has Water in the Reservoir to ensure the Food does not Dry out. Unbeknown to Hector at this time, the Water had all Evaporated, even though I had topped it up after the Masala. And there was no Instructions with The Device.

Starter

Marg and Hector had a Lamb Chop each to start things off. My fear was that The Device would create Steamed Meat, not the case. Another Five Minutes might have bee ideal. Twenty Minutes next time. Still, for a First attempt, not bad at all. Tandoori Chops at Home.

The Curry

Strictly speaking, this was not Curry, but Tandoori Meat with Masala. The Fish was cooked to Perfection. Ten Minutes if Fully Thawed, I would estimate.

The Chicken was Cooked through, had an Authentic Burnt Exterior, but lacked something, another Five Minutes?

Now for The Strange Bit

The Masala was Stunning. In Twenty Five Minutes I had recaptured the Sense of an Exciting New Flavour as Experienced when I first did my Curry Course over a Decade ago. With the Fish it was superb, and not too Bad with the Chicken. Yes, it has taken Hector this long to cook Chicken for Self-consumption. The Remaining Lamb Chop now felt a bit out of place.

Marg’s Verdict

I enjoyed the Lamb Chop, still a Wee Bit Chewy. The Fish was Very Spicy, the Texture was Good. The Chicken needed longer, a Wee Bit Jellied. The Masala – A Great Masala Taste, I enjoyed the Texture of the Masala, an Interesting Taste.

There’s Hope.  I could also consider taking up Curling.

The Cunning Plan

The Remaining Four Lamb Chops and the Masala Leftovers will make a re-appearance. Dinner for One.

Lamb Chops Achari – Zu Hause, Coming Soon!

Posted in Hector's Cooking | 1 Comment

Prince of India, Pitlochry – Hector is Impressed, Again

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Hector

Work? Who remembers Work?

Hector’s work has taken him into the Heart of Scotland for a few days. The only possible Curry-Heute could be the Lunch Stop in Pitlochry. The Prince of India (5-7, Station Rd, Pitlochry PH16 5AN) was the Venue.

This time last year I had the Meat Bhuna Balti, a Beef Curry because all of the Lamb Dishes are served Tikka-style. This year I decided to discover if their decision to do so was justified.

Entering bang on Noon, I was not surprised to find the premises empty this Monday Lunchtime. It was the very start of the Lunch Period. Who dines out at this time of day? As I took my choice of seat along the window I declined the Lunchtime Special Three Course offer. Time was at a premium, let’s get to the Main Event.

The Balti Achar Lamb Tikka looked the best of all choices for a Hector Curry. On the assumption that a lot of Masala would be served, Vegetable Rice felt appropriate. The Order was given as Mein Host brought the Sparkling Water.

Somewhere between fifteen and twenty minutes later a Young Waiter served Hector with his Curry. My attempt at – Dry – last year fell on deaf ears. The Masala was not Over-The-Top, indeed it looked very Rich and was a decent Brown. The Redness from the Oil had clustered towards the Centre. Some Oil is always welcomed – Big Flavours. I could see immediately from the size of the Karahi that this Portion was not for the Faint of Heart, it was Huge, and it was not all Masala, the Lamb content was definitely Significant.

My preference for Tender Lamb is based on the realisation that Boiled Lamb takes on Flavours from the Masala, and on-the-bone gives something back. Tikka Lamb has its own Flavour which tends to stand alone no matter what one adds it too. Would Lime Pickle hold its own?

Decanting the Vegetable Rice I was struck by the choice of Interesting Vegetables. Cabbage was to the fore, accompanied by Baby Carrots, Peas and the odd bit of Broccoli, very different. Again the Portion was more than Sufficient for a Single Serving.

The Masala had a recognisable, but Faint Tang at the start. The Tikka Lamb behaved exactly as expected. The more I ate, the more impressed I became. The adjacent Photo shows what was left in the Karahi once I had taken a Decent-sized Portion. Here lay the Killer Flavour. What had been carefully avoided thinking it was the Dreaded Green Mushy Vegetable, turned out to be the Rind from the Lime Pickle. A stray piece ended up on Hector’s Palate – Bang!   This was a Curry!   This was an Outstanding Curry!

There was still plenty of Lamb left, I even had to use a knife to cut one very large piece. The Relative Ratios of Lamb, Masala and Rice was such that one did not have to plan the End Game to avoid Rice and Sauce. Hector was in his element. Apart for the Curry Houses I have visited of late which are on my Recommended List, this must be the Stand-out.

It is possible that I could return here in October 2014 and 2015, ceterus paribus.

The Bill

£17.55. Yes, this is a couple of Pounds more Expensive than Hector is used to paying, however, given the Portion Size this remains Good Value.

The Aftermath

The Calling Card was presented to the Young Waiter. Mein Host was busy, a pity, I did wish to congratulate his Venue for selling such an Outstanding Dish.  I will order this again.

Hector had a forty five minute window for lunch. In the end I had five minutes to spare.

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Eleven Dine at The Village

Posted on October 19, 2013 by Hector

It is eight months since The Friends of Hector assembled in such numbers. Today’s Curry had to be placed in our Diaries at the end of the summer such is the level of activity amongst The Group members. This was Euan’s first visit to The Village (119 West St., Tradeston, Glasgow G5 8BA). The Commemorative T-shirt was issued to bid him Bon Voyage as he heads North to the Bier Desert in The Land of Thermals. Hector and Euan will hopefully meet up again in said Northern City at the end of the year. I shall be on Holiday again by then.

The Indian Mango in München yesterday, The Village ‘Curry House’ in Glasgow today. With Eleven Diners there would be a range of Curry Dishes ordered and an Array of Different Opinions. One thing to note – No Chicken was harmed in the preparation for this Blog Entry. Read on…

Marg and Hector arrived early and ensured The Table was set up how we wanted it. We were too many to sit in The Round, a pity. Next time The Core Eight. We were tucking into the Complimentary Poppadoms and Dips when Jonathan arrived then Steve. The Remaining Seven arrived together, where had they been?

More Poppadoms et al were provided and The Menu was studied closely. Hector already knew this was the time to have the dependably Wonderful Lamb Lahori Karahi – Desi-style, Dry and on-the-bone. Yvonne, Steve and Howard would have the Standard version of the Lamb Lahori Karahi, but Boneless. Euan and Marg went for the Famous – Village Lamb Desi Kourma – the Dish that was a Hector Magnet for years. Jonathan and Tracey chose Keema Mutter, Jonathan’s Spicy, and Tracey’s with Paneer. Mags asked for Aloo Gosht, it would come on-the-bone. Neil had Fish in mind, the Machli Taree. This left Mr. Vindaloo himself to order Tandoori Lamb Tikka with a Mild Sauce.

Two Keema Naan, not Hector’s time yet, a Cheese and Garlic Naan, a Number of Chapattis, Boiled Rice, Mushroom Rice, Special Rice and Egg Fried Rice were the Accompaniments. Now for the wait.

The Two Chaps who most certainly have included Starters were not with us today. Had they done so we would have been in for a very long wait. We knew that half an hour would be Standard. We were taunted by the issuing of pleasantly warmed plates which were followed by two plates of Complementary Salad and Raita which I did not spot until the very end. When did that arrive? Our group exceeded the total of all other Diners so the Kitchen had not been swamped.  I had also booked, so they knew we were coming.

Our Waiter did well to ensure everyone was topped up with the various Soft Drinks on offer. I should have gone for a Large Bottle of the Sparkling Water given the Long Haul. There were no Grumbles, the Food arrived within One Robin. I knew what everyone was having as the notes had been made. However at the time of recording I was asked if I was placing The Order. No chance. We were one Chapatti short when all had been presented, more than acceptable.

Ten of Eleven have been to The Village through its Various Incarnations in the last three years. Marg found the Classic Village Desi Kourma to be Creamier than she she expected. She has eaten this Dish many times. (Does somebody want to count up how many times in the last 40 months). Both Marg and Euan found the Dish to be Spicier than they anticipated. Well, it isn’t a standard Korma, despite the Nomenclature. Euan enjoyed the Recommended Special Rice and managed to give some to Marg. This was just as well. This dish needs Rice, it is far too Soup-like these days to be eaten with Bread alone.

Steve and Yvonne found too little Masala in their Lahori Karahi. I found more in my Half-Kilo than I needed. The Photographs do not reveal particularly Dry Curry. Steve and Yvonne both found their Lamb to be Chewy. Mags and Hector were the only two to have  on-the-bone.

We found our Lamb was Tender, but Mags realised the boneless bits were more Chewy. Howard had a different slant. He found the Flavour of the Lamb dominated the Masala not the other way. Of the four who ordered the Lamb Lahori Karahi, Hector was the only one who had no problem. The remaining three know they have had better. Yvonne went onto say she preferred The Village when it was temporary relocated across the road.

Craig was certainly positive. His Tandoori Lamb Tikka, not a Curry in Hector’s Book, was better than his last experience here. Very pleasant. I cannot write this for everyone.

I awaited Neil’s Machli Taree with interest. I have not eaten a Village Fish Curry for a long time. The Portion looked Sufficient to me and the Masala not too distant from that accompanying the Desi Kourma. Very Pleasant, Tomatoey and Spicy –  was his verdict.

The two Mince Curry Dishes were a Success. Hector last had a Village Keema at the Ramadan Buffet, it was superb back then. Spicy, Comfort Food – was how Tracey described her Keema Mutter Paneer. The Paneer added an Extra Dimension which was … Thumbs Up!     Jonathan summed his Keema Mutter and the day up well – A Fairly typical Village Experience, you always get Something Good, but never know exactly what you are going to get.

It was this sentiment which made Hector write to Mr. Baig, the Owner, some years ago. There was a time when the same Dish was never the same on consecutive visits. Hopefully, these days are not returning.

The Bill

£146.10. Everyone paid for what they ate, not a problem. When the Bill came we had it well covered.

Mr. Baig shook my hand as we departed. He knows it is a long time since we have been there in such large numbers.  He knows that I report every visit how it is, and also that I shall be back.  The number of visits speaks for itself.

The Aftermath

Whilst taking the reports from my Fellow Diners at our chosen nearby Watering Hole which just happens to be Glasgow’s Pub of The Year 2013 – The Laurieston –  Craig uttered – Tablecloths.

Howard retorted with – Tablecloths, The Scourge of The Curry House.

Here’s a New Theory to be put to the test – The closer one sits to the Village Kitchen where there are No Tablecloths , the better the Curry?  

Posted in The Village "Curry House" | 2 Comments

Der unwiderstehliche Indian Mango

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Hector

Irresistible

The only unknown about today’s visit to the Indian Mango (Zweibrückenstrasse 15, 80331, München) was which Chettinad, Fisch or Lamm. In the small hours the resolve was to have the same as yesterday, minus the Aloo Paratha. A Curry just after noon is early even for The Hector.

As Marg would be accompanying me as Spectator for my Ritual I had already carried out the Reciprocal Deal with Breakfast for Marg at the Glockenspiel Café overlooking Marienplatz. Croissants and Fruit Salad might be an option if we had more time, however, today was the final part of our October Week Holiday. There was time for one meal each.

Herr Battra had been informed last evening that I would be back. Clive was a Possible Attendee but was running late. No comment.

I believe you serve an Excellent Fisch Chettinad here? – was my opening line. Scharf – was confirmed, here we go. A Sparkling Water and a Glass of Mango Lassi for Marg made up the entire order. And so we waited whilst the Chef created Outstanding Curry. The Free Wi-fi certainly helped pass the time. Those back home were Alloa-bound today. Some of us had to be in München.

How often have I written that I was the Lone-Diner? That has never been the case at the Indian mango. The Lunchtime Menu appeared to be attracting some Young Diners, presumably Students. I have always ordered a la carte, and discovered the Chettinad back when there was a Specials Board. The Specials Board is no more.

The wait was the Square Root of One Robin, not long at all. Mein Host brought the Bowl of Chettinad and one of Basmati Rice, – Gosh! The Fish was piled even higher than it was yesterday. A quick peak below revealed a Mass of Fish with the Thick Masala wrapped around it. How am I going to finish this? The secret was to only decant half of the Rice.

The Venues which I hold in the Highest Regard have all passed the same Test. You have served me an Outstanding Curry, do it again! If anything, this was even better than yesterday. What could be better than a Portion of Fisch Chettinad? A larger Portion!

The Bill

€18.20. €12.90 of this was for the Curry. Few places serve Fish Curry at this price back home.

The Aftermath

Once again I had to decline the offer of Schnapps. Tea was also suggested but Hector does not generally drink Tea outside of Scotland, though the Water in München is of Comparable Quality.

Farewells were exchanged. Marg and Hector plan to be back in Four Weeks. I also plan to visit another Venue which Other Reviewers have suggested. The first Curry will be Fisch Chettinad at the Indian Mango.

We passed three other Curry Houses today, the Garam Masla I have been to in the years before Curry-Heute. Nothing great. I also spotted an Afghanistan Restaurant, Lemar across the road from Goa. They too have Curry Dishes on offer, can they rival Glasgow’s Khyber? Next year?

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One München Curry Haus – One Indian Mango – One Fisch Chettinad

Posted on October 17, 2013 by Hector

The Indian Mango (Zweibrückenstrasse 15, 80331, München) has become the Highlight of any Trip to München. Arriving mid-afternoon the other München Ritual had to be got under-way. Maggie and Marg had wandered off for Coffee and Cake, it’s a Female Thing. When they returned to Augustiner Clive and Hector were almost finishing off the Edelstoff. Marg headed on down to Isartor on foot, we jumped the single stop on the S Bahn some minutes later. It was strange to walk into Indian Mango and see Marg waiting.

Herr Batra was out immediately to greet Hector. My second visit this year and it will not be my last. Fisch Chettinad is not on The Menu, Lamb Chettinad is. The Fisch version is always made to order, Clive was up for this Wondrous Treat too. What’s an Aloo Paratha? – Clive asked when I added this to the List. Why not? Maggie had just eaten Cake, Marg too but decided Fisch Pakora was required. The Aroma from our Curry spread around the Restaurant, it is Seriously Potent and grabs the back of the throat. The Saliva Glands were sensing Something Special was on its way.

Fisch Chettinad, Scharf

Two Bowls of Fisch Chettinad, two Bowls of Basmati Rice and the Fisch Pakora were set before us. A Single Aloo Paratha arrived thereafter.

There was a Serious Kick, the Dark Red Chillies were doing their job. The Gritty Texture was less apparent this evening but Curry Leaves were still visible in the Thick Mush at the base of the Bowl. Fish adds its own distinctive Flavour to any Curry, with the Thickest of Masala sitting beneath the Chunks of Fish this was a Taste Explosion. Some of the Fish had Breadcrumbs on it, this gave the Overall Texture a new slant.

Is it OK? – asked Mein Host. OK is not The Standard. – I replied. This was the Joy of Curry Eating at its Peak.

Clive was blown away. Excellent – he kept uttering. Well, I told him so. The second Paratha had to be re-ordered, it came at exactly the right moment. Maggie and Marg had helped themselves to a Quarter each. Eight Quarters would have been two too many. Six was ideal. Why can’t one order Half? I asked my Co-diners. There was more Basmati Rice on the table than Two Chaps could eat.

The Fisch Pakora

This did not last long. It too had Breadcrumbs. Marg considered this to be an Improvement on excessive Batter. The Pakora actually looked like Pakora. Those who have ordered Pakora here in the past have been puzzled by the Flat Array of Bits that come.

The Bill

€48.15. This included three Soft Drinks.

The Aftermath

Herr Battra offered us Mango Schnapps. Too early, and with the Forschungs Bräuerei our next port of call, not a sensible idea. A Mango Dessert was offered and three portions accepted. This was not for Hector, let the Tastes from the Fisch Chettinad linger on the Palate as long as possible.

I’ll be back…  Soon!

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Erlangen – The Well-Seasoned – Curry House

Posted on October 15, 2013 by Hector

Needs Must

There has been a dearth of Kebabs on this trip so far, at least Curry-Heute is guaranteed. It’s a twenty minute train ride from Bamberg to Erlangen, a town which boasts some half dozen sources of Curry. Hector appears to be championing the Curry House (Helmstrasse 11, 91054, Erlangen, Bayern) currently, my second visit this year.

Arriving at 13.00 the place was proving to be as popular as ever. I have never seen this venue empty. Mein Host recognised me on entry and was once again happy to describe the dishes on offer. When Mutton Palak was mentioned it struck a chord. Clive was up for this too. Maggie and Marg both decided it was too early for Curry-Heute and ordered Chicken Samosas. An Onion Bhaji, Salad and Keema Naan were also added to Clive’s order. Hector added a Side Portion of Aloo. This with the accompanying Basmati Rice would be quite sufficient.

Maggie and Clive witnessed the creation of the Samosas and the Naan, from scratch. No simple reheating. The Chaps grabbed the bag of Flour and made the Samosa Pastry and the Naan on the spot. Meanwhile Marg and Hector were savouring the Rubicon Mango without fizz.

About ten minutes later we were called up to the counter and ferried the food to the table. The Masala for the Palak was on the runny side as it tends to be served in Deutschland. The Flavour of the Spinach was there but was not overwhelming. The Curry was well-Seasoned as it always is at this venue. Again the balance was about right.

The Mutton was in huge pieces, a mass of Meat and very Tender. The Potato Curry added the required Diversity. No Hector is not describing the Curry at this venue to be outstanding but it is certainly competently created and served with some self-belief. The Curry craving was sated.

Marg and Maggie gave a running commentary on their Samosas. Interesting, Fresh Pastry, Home-made. They liked the contrast that the two Dips created also. Marg also dipped the Masala that came with the Potato Curry. Success. The Salad arrived a good bit later and was Spiced. Turmeric in a Salad? This took Maggie by surprise.

This was Clive’s second visit to the Erlangen Curry House. Excellent, very good indeed – was his overall feeling. Once again he celebrated the creation of the Naan before his every eyes. This was a quality Naan apparently. I must try one someday.

Mein Host came over and asked – Is it too Salty?

Now I know you have read my Blog – was the reply. Well-Seasoned.

The Bill

€21.70, Paid in advance. This was for Marg and Hector’s share. Clive paid a comparable amount for himself and Maggie.

The Aftermath

We had to go to Kitzmann before heading back to Löwenbräu Buttenheim. It was written.

The Curry Capital 2013

News reached us later in the day courtesy of John, The Bradford Curry Blogger.  Bradford have won the Curry Capital Prize for the third year in succession with Glasgow in second place. The Curryspondents will know that Hector would always place the two Curry Sources in that Order.

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Crawley – The Ram Sports and Social Club – Amusing, if not farcical.

Posted on October 12, 2013 by Hector

A Saturday Night in Crawley, it has to be one of two venues. The Ram Sports and Social Club (West Green Pavillion, Ifield Ave, West Green, Crawley, Rh11 7LX) as it now has been called for two consecutive visits has not so much gone through Evolution but Revolution since Hector’s first visit. (That’s not bad for a composition at 07.57 on a Sunday morning München bound flight.) Formerly Lal Akash, then a brief flirtation with SWAGAT, the name of this venue has a more local feel. The interior has developed from an ad hoc Curry House attached to a Cricket Club to a full blown Curry operation. The place is hardly recognisable now. One still has to pay an Entry Fee if one is not a Member, and don’t even think of turning up without a Reservation.

Lord Clive of Crawley sorted out his Membership at the door as we entered. Little did we know that the door would feature prominently in this visit. No, we were not shown The Door. Far from it, we had to make our excuses to be permitted to leave.

Clive’s Reservation was in the name of Clyde, fitting as he and Lady Maggie were entertaining two Scottish Diners. Drinks had to be secured at the refurbished Bar. Cobra was Clive’s call, it was a Saturday Night and Hector has been virtually abstemious this Holiday so far. Halfway through I was already missing the Sparkling Water. We found our table, the furthest one possible, and in a corner out of sight. A table of about ten were adjacent, the place was mobbed. It is unusual for Hector to report from such a busy venue.

It is written

The Lamb Mishkaki was the Dish which put this venue on the map.

On my first visit Clive had arranged for us to have this Starter as a Main Course. Dry Lamb Tikka which dances on the palate. With anticipation leading to salivation, this would have to be Hector’s Starter of choice. One might also trace the appreciation of Lamb Chops back to this very venue. Hector had never ordered totally Dry Meat prior to his first visit here. Marg considered a share of this but then the candidate changed allegiance and gave in to an Indo-Chinese Starter involving Vegetable Balls and a Chilli Sauce – Veg Manchurian. An Indo-Chinese fusion recipe mixed vegetables formed into balls then fried & lightly tossed with onions, ginger & garlic, soya sauce.  No Cheese then as I had thought whilst glancing at the menu.   Maggie fancied Garlic Mushrooms, and surprisingly, Clive asked for Shami Kebab, even though it was not on the menu. He knows, you know.

Behold Doris!

We’re in Crawley, so she must be Doris. Doris was tall, foreign, and this was her first day working in a Curry House. She knew nothing. What was about to befall us? A well-known and reliable Curry Website informed Hector, that on his last visit here, there were two Lamb Karahi entries on the menu. Lamb Karahi and Gosht Karahi, the latter being the Dry version. The SWAGAT Menu is no more, tonight there was only the solitary Karahi, I would have to ask, to reason…. Marg ordered Lamb Karahi and asked for the Capsicum to be withheld. The Lady now shares my disgust at the inclusion of this Alien Vegetable. I asked for the same but Dry. When Doris then asked for the Dish Number on the menu, the heart sank. It was about then that she realised the Karahi would be Main Courses. Maggie, still inspired by her recent trip to India, ordered Handi Lamb. Clive added another Lamb Karahi – Wot? No Chicken Dansak?

Four Roti, (£1.25) a Keema Naan, Aloo Palak, Boiled Rice and Mushroom Rice would be the Accompaniments. That was very nearly the last we saw of Doris.

Minutes later, a smaller but more assured Doris came over to tell us that Shami Kebab was not on the menu and was not available. Cue another Lamb Mishkaki. That was the last we saw of assured Doris.

Thereafter

I believe we must have been served by every male member of staff in the establishment during the remainder of our visit. One Chap would stand out in the end. The Starters were presented.

The Menu said Lamb Mishkaki had eight pieces of Lamb for £4.95. How many times has Hector counted fewer than eight in a Main Course? Marg took one piece, Hector tore into the remaining seven. Two of Seven were decidedly on the Too Chewy end of The Spectrum but still had the knock-out Flavours. Five of Seven were spot-on! The Lamb Mishkaki is an absolute delight and will keep the Ram Sports and Social Club on the Curry-Heute radar as long as it is served.  All eight of Lord Clive’s Lamb pieces were succulent he assured me. Why wasn’t Howard here? He would surely have been given my portion…

Marg’s Veg Balls were numerous, excessively so, she knew she was beaten at the outset. We all had a share. Far too close to Chinese Food for Hector’s liking. The palate could not cope with these Flavours accompanying real food. Too much sauce for Marg’s liking. The Garlic Mushrooms came with Onions and some Capsicum. It was essentially a Vegetable Curry. Given that the Starters were all served in significantly sized portions we knew we needed a rest. So, when the Chap who cleared the table asked if we were ready for our Mains we were in two minds. We said yes, the table of ten was still being dealt with, logically they would distract the Chaps pro tem.

A Minute Passed

Followed quickly by another minute. In fact The Full Robin had elapsed before another Chap spotted our table had been void of food for some time. We did see original Doris again, Clive asked for more Bier and we were told we had to go to the Bar ourselves. So it goes. A bottle of Kenyan Tusker came back courtesy of Clive. Poor, to the point of me wondering again why I had strayed from the reliable Sparkling Water.  Saturday Night…

The Helpful Hero

A Chap, who became Our Chap told us that Doris had put our Order Slip in the wrong place.  One can only speculate.  We had been lost in the system. Eventually Our Chap came with a tray of assorted Curry Dishes. Now things take a turn for the worst. He didn’t know what he had brought.

We are looking for three Lamb Karahi, two of which have No Capsicum and one is also Dry.

The portions of Curry were placed on the table along with the Aloo Palak. Another Chap presented the Roti,  Naan and Boiled Rice. Maggie had to ask again for the Mushroom Rice. The fourth Curry was lost in translation, Hyperspace, a Black Hole. Our Chap came back with a Lamb Methi and it sat beside the three original Curry portions. Maggie was given a Curry which looked no more Handi than Andy. But then, as with – Desi -, they can serve whatever they please under this nomenclature.

Hector now had a choice of Curry, I know the Lamb Methi here is outstanding. I was considering opting to commit myself to this when Our Chap whisked the Methi away. I chose the Driest of the three Karahi, the Dish which was also oblong as opposed to round. When the Mushroom Rice arrived Our Chap asked if we were happy. I told him I had asked for a Dry Lamb Karahi without Capsicum. I had at this moment just isolated the fourth piece of Mushy Vegetable and placed it on the plate beneath the karahi. He apologised and took the whole lot away.

The wait for the replacement was not over long which makes me wonder if this venue has dropped its standards. What came was pretty much identical to what Marg and Clive were having. Dry only appears to exist in the world of Mishkaki, not Karahi. Our Chap was so apologetic he actually sounded sincere. Apparently the regular staff were out elsewhere and the four/five stand-ins had not shown. He admitted he did not know one Curry from another and that was why he was unable to recognise the Individuality of the Order. Amusing, if not farcical.

Hector’s Dry Lamb Karahi without Capsicum contained Tender Lamb which became the focus of the Dish. The Masala was excessive but was better than Bog Standard. No Interesting Vegetable, simply Meat and Masala, not how I prefer to eat Curry. This does not of course imply a criticism, it was still Curry. One had hoped for something outstanding after the quality of the Starter. But then regular Readers will not be surprised that the Mains did not live up to the standard set by the outstanding Starters, when do they ever?

Chapattis were not on the menu, hence the order for Roti. They started to crisp up, however, as they were served quartered in a basket, the pieces nearer the base retained their Softness for much longer. Three between two of us would have been enough in terms of quantity, the fourth meant we had decent pieces to eat.

Clive ate three-quarters of his Keema Naan, the Boiled Rice was never touched. The Mushroom Rice appeared to go down well on the opposite side of the table. Clive stated that –  The Karahi lacked the sweetness of other Karahi, there was too much sauce. Very saucy, but still very good.

Maggie left a considerable quantity of her Masala which appeared to be a more Oily version of that which accompanied the Karahi Dishes. Maggie described the Handi as – Traditional Indian, lots of levels of spice but not too hot.  Most was off-the-bone despite the menu saying it was on-the-bone. What was, fell off easily.

Which part of Dry do people not understand? We don’t want Soup! The Spinach content of the Aloo Palak was appreciated, – Tasty. Maggie described the Mushroom Rice as – mediocre.  Marg surprised me by eating all of her Karahi, she was hungry and the wait between courses had let the Veg Manchurian digest. It was not too spicy, the right heat for me, and the meat was very tender.

The Bill

£60.65. Note, all Drinks were paid for separately.

The Aftermath

Our Chap returned and was again full of apologies. He admitted to being The Doorman and had been thrust into delivering the Curry. He offered us Starters, Dessert, Drinks, anything! On-The-House. Alas, we had an appointment at The Swan and a very early rise, 04.30 to be precise.

Next time I have a suggestion: Starters at the Ram Sports and Social Club, Mains at The Downsman?

To Bamberg (via München?), Casketeers! What might be avoided in Bamberg and celebrated in München?

Posted in The Ram Sports & Social Club | Comments Off on Crawley – The Ram Sports and Social Club – Amusing, if not farcical.

The New Cafe Salma

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Hector

It was a sad day when Hector and Marg said goodbye to Hassan at Café Salma (523 Sauchiehall St, G3 7PQ) at the start of the summer. In the last week news reached Hector that the Venue had reopened as – New Café Salma. After an excellent Curry at Akbar’s on the same block last Friday, I went in to meet the new owner, Tahrir. The Takeaway Menu had some Interesting Fish Dishes. I never did have my Farewell Fish Curry under the auspices of Hassan. So, how good would the New Cafe Salma Fish Dishes be? This evening at 17.00 I chose New Cafe Salma as the Curry-Heute Venue.

Two Chaps, The Staff,  sat in the window seat. They were just finishing whatever they had been consuming. The place was empty apart from them. Please sit here – said the Waiter who gestured to the window seat. The other Chap, the Chef, disappeared downstairs. I had to stand and wait while the table was cleared and made ready. The seat was still warm as I took my place – The Living Advertising Hoarding? I counted around forty other seats I could have been placed at. I was far from impressed by this antic.

The New Menu was presented. The Drinks Menu was already on the table. John, who tried the place midweek, had warned me about the price of Sparkling Water. Hector is not prepared to pay £2.45 for a 330ml Bottle, so – Tap Water please.

The Menu is set up with the price of all Murgh (Chicken Dishes) as standard. The Lamb variants are £2.00 extra. This would certainly make Lamb a bit pricey. The single Karahi on offer stated it included Capsicums, that would be create my usual challenge if ordered. A Bhoona looked the best Lamb alternative. However, Hector was here for the Fish. The Monkfish Achari Masala was speaking to me. At £13.95 this had better be good. Mushroom Rice would have to be the Accompaniment. It said Masala, let’s see just how much Masala comes with the Fish.  For the record, the Starters are well overpriced.

I had time to study the new layout. The décor had been changed markedly. With a single kitchen downstairs the upstairs is much roomier. Presumably the Ladies is still downstairs. This evening I had no reason to ask to go and inspect what has happened to the old seating area which was the feature of the former incarnation. I was assured my Dish would not be too long. I may have looked impatient, I was actually just taking in the scene.

A stand was brought to the side of the table. Why? The Karahi of Fish Achari was placed on the table with the usual Safety Warning – Don’t touch! The Rice had a Brown Hue and was more than enough for one. The Mushroom content was not overwhelming. I cannot now recall if they were Fresh or Tinned. Five Pieces of Fish had been placed in the Karahi with a Mass of Masala. The Masala was Worryingly Red, two thirds of the contents of the Karahi were spooned on to the Rice. Already I felt that this Dish needed more Fish.

The Monkfish was Rubbery. Not how I would have cooked or served it. Disappointing. The Masala had a Pleasant Tang but was closer to Sweet and Sour than Achari on my Palate. Still, far from Unpleasant. The Fish did not last long. I was down to Rice and Masala when I was asked how I was getting on. Well, he asked.

“Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” “Yeah, I know; and such small portions .” (Woody Allen)

I’ve nearly finished. There was not very much Fish. The Fish was Rubbery too. I appear to be just eating Rice with Sauce.

I was finished moments later. Putting on the jacket I went up to the Counter.

The Bill

£16.90. This was reduced to £15.00. I’ll have a word with the Chef downstairs. – I was informed.  Was there an Upstairs Chef?

The Aftermath

No Calling Card was left, I gave one last Friday. I had said my bit. The Experience was far from Impressive. With three Hector Recommended Curry Houses within metres of the New Cafe Salma, they have their work cut out.

I’m still waiting for the Tap Water.

Posted in [New Cafe Salma] | 1 Comment

Masala Twist – The Helensburgh Curry Scene Hots Up

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Hector

The Fourth Day of Operation

There was a Strange Light in the Sky over Helensburgh this evening, a celestial sign? There is finally a Genuine Choice of Curry Houses in this coastal town in the West of Scotland, unlike this time last year.

Steve, Anthony and Hector met just before 17.00 at Masala Twist (James St., Helensburgh, G84), two former Colleagues were well ensconced, perhaps this venue is open all day. It’s hard to tell since the Masala Twist website is focuses on the Byres Rd operation. Even a precise address is not yet forthcoming.

Steve had popped in yesterday to check the Menu. No Lamb Chops?  Fortunately they were on the Menu, listed just under  the Starters. At £5.95 a Pop, £1.00 dearer than the Hope St Branch. Mmm. £2.00 a Lamb Chop, am I in an Egyptian Restaurant, again? If I click my heels will I find myself in Bradford where Lamb Chops are Attractively Priced?

Nevertheless

Two Portions of Lamb Chops were ordered plus Fish Pakora for Anthony. The Mains would be straightforward for Steve, Lamb Madras, and Anthony – Hyderabadi Dum Lamb Biryani. This is the man who ordered the Tajine on our last outing together at Café Salma. Not a – Vindaloo Man – then.

Hector was in two minds. Lamb Desi? Or make enquiries about the Karahi Bhoona? Could Capsicum be avoided? Which would be more Dry? Which had more Flavour? I decided to tackle the Waiter with the latter.

Which of these two Dishes will blow me away? Somewhere in the discussion Dry took us towards Karahi. The Karahi would be Tikka Lamb, not required. Capsicum had to be avoided. What alternative Vegetable would you like? Potatoes! Ah well.

A Plain Paratha and a Vegetable Paratha would be the Accompaniments, apparently the Biryani comes with Rice (!). Truly.

When the – The Sir Howard Young – opened its doors, a significant part of the former furniture shop did not become part of the pub. It became a charity shop for a while until a few weeks ago when the Masala Twist banner appeared in the window. This venue is quite spacious and simply decorated. It is fully licensed and fortunately sells Sparkling Water by the Bottle at a modest £1.60. The kitchen is visible at the rear through a large window. The Chefs have been brought down from the Glasgow Branches, as have some of the Waiters to maintain the level of continuity this Curry Chain requires.

The Starters arrived each with a Modest Salad and Two Dips – One Red and Spicy, the other Green. Was it Mint and Mango or just Mint? I didn’t try them, Lamb Chops! Hector found the Lamb Chops to be up to the expected standard, but at £5.95 a portion, definitely – more-ish. Steve did not consider the Lamb Chops to be as – Melt in the Mouth – as The Menu suggested. Our teeth were collectively sharper by the time we had finished. Meanwhile Anthony’s Fish Pakora had disappeared without much comment. Or were we too busy gnawing? There was a comment – Good texture and taste, didn’t need the dips, Mint Sauce with Fish? So, no Mango in the Mint Sauce then.

Mein Host cleared the table and asked if we were ready for The Mains. Apparently we were. Fortunately there was a bit of a gap between.

The Former Colleagues came over to exchange views. They had thoroughly enjoyed their Meals. They’ll be back. What Curry Website?

A Brief Panic

Chicken Karahi? Sorry, Lamb Karahi! The Madras and the Plain Paratha accompanied. The Biryani and the Masala arrived soon after with the Vegetable Paratha. I have raved about my previous Parathas at the two Masala Twist outlets visited to date. They were outstanding. This was darker, thicker, more greasy. Steve’s looked both Oily and Flaky. We shall see.

Heisenberg

Hector having photographed The Starters was in full – David Bailly – mode. Mein Host was nearby. I shall tell you why I’m taking so many photos later – I offered. He came over and introduced himself and called me by name, and – Hector – is not how he addressed me. Not only was I was expected, the Curry Mask had been unveiled.

The Madras and the Karahi were not dissimilar in appearance. Steve’s verdict on the Madras – Thick, tomatoey, garlic, hot, Lamb was tender. What one expects from a half-decent Madras.

Hector suspects the Madras and the Karahi came out of the same pot. A Thick Lamb Stew – was the overall impression I was left with. It was – Lamb with Potatoes, the latter thankfully the lesser of the two. The portion was more than sufficient, with the Paratha certainly filling. The Lamb was Tender, the kick commensurate with Curry. This Karahi was more Mainstream Curry than what was hoped for.

I shall have to return and see if they can match, or even improve upon the impressive Karahi Dishes I have experienced in their other outlets. And as for the Vegetable Paratha, Ditto.

Meanwhile, The Pearls in The Rice Corner

Anthony was left with a significant quantity of the Masala that was meant to be poured over his Rice. It was Soup. A Spicy Soup as it turned out.

Very tasty – was Anthony’s verdict. A subtle blend of Spices and not straying into Stew and not overpowering the Lamb. The accompanying Masala was slightly over-robust for my untutored palate.

The End Game

Apparently I arrived at the Byres Rd branch and met Raman just as they were setting up the Hope Street branch. The same was repeated when I went to Hope St, Helensburgh was then being set up. Mein Host was more than familiar with Curry-Heute. He was intrigued by my Curry plans for the immediate future. This is – National Curry Week.

The Loyalty Card was acknowledged immediately. They are awaiting delivery of one for the Helensburgh outlet. All who ask will be given one and the corresponding 20% discount.

Tonight’s meal was discussed. The Chef who cooked – The Best Paratha I had ever eaten – in Hope St. was the same Chap who cooked this evening’s. What happened? The Dreaded Capsicum was brought up, as it were. – Why? It was acknowledged that in the Punjab, Green Peppers are not used. The Indians have Karahi, there they are. For me it’s not a matter of taste, but the wrong – Texture.  It was confirmed that any Menu which describes a Karahi as a – Stir-Fry–  is basically – Wrong.

It was agreed I need to try the Desi. Next time.

The Bill

£48.63. This was after the 20% Discount. Now, why was I happy to spend £5.95 on Three Lamb Chops? An OK price for a Starter and a Main Course.

The Aftermath

I was permitted to take some photos as I left. It all makes for better Blogging. One suspects this venue will be very busy this weekend.

Posted in Masala Twist | 1 Comment

An Anniversary Curry at The Village

Posted on October 5, 2013 by Hector

October 5, 1973, the day Hector started University. Forty years later, the The Five were reunited for the first time in over twenty years. An afternoon at The Staggs (Musselburgh) reached its Natural Conclusion. Sam and Hector found themselves back in Glasgow, Curry was required. With no immediate train to Charing Cross, we jumped in a Taxi at Queen St. The Punjabi Charing Cross was the intended destination until, on a whim, I redirected the driver to The Village (119 West St., Tradeston, Glasgow G5 8BA). Currently resident in Hong Kong, Sam does not have a huge range of places to have Curry, one in fact. Instinct made me choose The Village. Serendipity once more.

Entering through the original door on Nelson St., I was directed towards the seating area by, that’s not Kassif, yet it is… Mehran, a younger brother.

A Waitress came over with the Menu Card and asked if we wished Poppadoms. I asked if Kassif was authorising these, he was over immediately to confirm these were Complementary. BHHIP.

Daddy then came across, Mr. Baig himself. I introduced Sam who was by now taken by the sound of the Village Lamb Desi Kourma. Mr. Baig took the Order himself. I opted for the Lahori Karahi as Dry as, and with Extra Methi. Four Chapattis would accompany.

The Poppadoms came with a good portion of Spiced Onion. Sam was instantly taken by the Viscosity of the Red Sauce. He was even more impressed by the Taste. Good start then.

What had looked like quite Empty Premises on entry turned out to be busy on the West St, end. A Party was well under-way. Weans were heard, lots of them. Was it a Kiddies Curry Party? Fortunately, given the size of the revamped Village, there was Space.

The Village Lamb Desi Korma is the only Soup-like Curry served anywhere which Hector would recommend. It was hard to tell the Meat Quantity within the Masala, but given the time spent eating it must have been more than adequate. I did like the addition of Sliced Almonds sprinkled across the top. Sam loved the Curry. One might even say he was Gob-smacked. Welcome to The Village.

The Lahori Karahi was well up to the Anticipated Standard. The Quantity of the Tender Lamb above average and a far cry from the Minimalist Portions of a couple of years back. One problem hopefully laid to rest. The Masala was Thick as requested, the Flavours spot on.

A Bowl of Raita accompanied the Curry.  I wasn’t quite sure about the timing.

We have a Curry Saturday planned for two weeks today. I suspect I may have this by the Half-Kilo. There can be no Higher Recommendation.

Marg arrived. Our lift home, great timing. I went up to see Irram on the till.

The Bill

£23.60. This included the Large Bottle of Sparkling Water, shared.

The Aftermath

I had a chat with Kassif and his sister, Irram. A Booking was made for October 19, on a piece of paper. So much for their Electronics. So, who’s all coming?

Posted in The Village "Curry House" | 1 Comment