Last week in Buttenheim, Dr. Stan ordered – Gemüse – as his accompaniment to that which is called food in Deutschland. What was served was not an array of Vegetables as the translation might suggest, but a pot of pureed Spinach. Not appealing, but enough to plant Spinach in Hector’s brain. Once it’s there, it remains until the notion is sated.
The Village “Curry House” (119 West St., Tradeston, Glasgow G5 8BA) possibly serves the finest Kofta Palak (£11.95) in the city. For the ritual Saturday afternoon Curry-fix, it had to be.
It was already nearing twilight at 14.45 and it was wet, relentlessly so, a lake was forming outside the West St. entrance.
A young waitress showed me to a table, a chap sitting at the window acknowledged me. Modest fame but moments later he cried:
Hi, Mr. Councillor – to a departing group. Way more famous.
The Order was recorded on paper, an opperchancity to bypass the electronica and have my Nan (£2.95) served whole. Duly recorded, as was the 0.75l bottle of Sparkling Water (£3.95) which remains realistically priced.
Medium-hot – was the agreed Spice Level. Hector is home, for a bit.
The silly season is nigh. I counted over thirty adults present during my hour or so here, and numerous weans. There’s always one to shatter the peace. Rather than have the wean scream until it gets what it wants, why not train it, at home, that all is withdrawn until tantrums cease? Then a wean can be considered fit enough to go out and eat in public.
Both Adam and Omar were on duty today, scurrying about serving the unusually busy afternoon shift. Adam managed to come over for a chat. I repeated the Athena Curry saga as told to Mr. Baig, Mein Host, last time. The conclusion was that we are paying too much for Meat in the UK. Why could that be?
It was Omar who brought the Order. I instantly pointed to the superb, shiny, whole Naan.
See, that’s so much better! (…than the pieces served in a basket)
Omar suggested that people want it easier to manage.
The joy of tearing a strip off a whole Bread, simple, satisfying.
Risen, puffy, and with blisters, this was the best Naan I have had in ages. I managed more than half and was almost tempted to take the remnant home. It’s never the same reheated.
Kofta Palak
Five, moderately-sized, Meatballs sat in the thickest of Masala mashes. Serve me this as a Curry with a full portion of Lamb pieces, and I may struggle. In terms of the Meat content, five Kofta is way less than say a plate of Keema. I had considered giving up one Meatball in favour of an Egg. Kofta Anda Palak, the ultimate Meatball Curry experience? I’ve had it here.
Everything was hotter than everything else adding further to the joy of the moment. Strong, Earthy Flavours came from the mass of Herbs, presumably more than just Spinach here. The Coriander topping confirms so. Oil collected to one side of the karahi. Hot Oil, yay, where have you been? The heat in the Oil seemed to supercharge the temperature of the Kofta, I was well pleased at having hot food until the end. Medium-hot, I’m glad I hadn’t ordered above this. The Spice hit hard, one suspects finely chopped Chillies had been rolled into the Kofta, these were giving so much, yet, were a counterpoint in Flavour to the Masala Mash. Moderate Seasoning was noted, no complaints there.
Adam was back, my enjoyment was relayed. I believe The Village to be the only place which guarantees having this available every day, (at this quality, implied). Adam’s response was that other places use tins of Spinach.
Whatever it is that Spinach does, it was doing it, and no needless Cream as would have been the case in mainland Europe.
Having ordered the large bottle of Sparkling Water, there was time to savour the moment.
The Bill
£18.85
The Aftermath
Adam asked where else in Glasgow serves food at the same quality as The Village. A few metres along the street, Karahi Palace is being transformed into Handi by Darbar. It remains to be seen if the upstairs will finally realise its potential.
Other favourite Southside Curry Cafes were of course rhymed off, however, Adam sought a venue with a grandeur comparable to The Village. In terms of Lahori/Punjabi cuisine plus ambience, it has to be Akbar’s.
A few hours later, the table in our evening watering hole was joined by Dr. Jamie who, much to Dr. Stan’s chagrin, started quoting segments from Curry-Heute. This may well have been only our second meeting. Capsicum/Ballast apparently amuses Jamie. Why is this funny?
Dr. Jamie reported that he followed one of Hector’s Curry Recipes – Lamb Desi Korma – which was based on the classic as served at The Village. Given my recent attempts to recreate this wonder, perhaps I had better go back and review my own interpretation.
Having cooked the Desi Korma, he took it to an event whereby he was challenged: was this actually home-cooked, by him? Dr. Jamie was accused of having purchased his creation at this very venue. So it goes.
If the cranium was not already swelling, an erstwhile colleague of (absent) Howard’s approached the table and addressed me as – Hector Curry-Heute. A day of recognition. Dr. Stan went home for a lie down shortly thereafter.
A Friday night on the Southside, most unusual. As Marg was also nearby, the Hector contrived to arrange a lift home. Just one more thing, a stop-off at 
The Bill
I was also here to plant seed. It is a long time since The Company were fed – at 
Twenty pieces of light coloured Vegetable Pakora, they still appeared to have been twice fried. Crispy, a full on delight, the Potato content was on the edge of perfection, another minute would have removed the need to bite in. Anyway, after the horrible Falafel had in 
There was time for a seven bell lunch before heading to the airport. It was about time the Home Made Mutton Curry with Bone (€14.90) served at 
The heart sank momentarily, not another Creamy Masala? I convinced myself that the creaminess had been reined in somewhat. Six BIG pieces of Fish sat therein, how I wished it was three hours later. Coriander leaves and stems topped the lot. 
A split Green Cardamom was the first thing I bit onto, not the best of starts, but Whole Spice is always a positive. The Spice Level was significant. Finely chopped Green Chillies were encountered in the mix, these and the Coriander stems added to the traditional – grittiness – of the Masala. The Seasoning varied. The, as ever unidentified, white Fish gave off the hoped for powerful Flavour of Fishiness, but no sense of ever having been in the sea. Fresh-water Fish? The Masala carried the load here, sufficient to declare this as a worthy Fish Curry. There were no bones.
Defeat was accepted. What was the Hector doing having a la carte this early? There was a ‘plane to catch, and the lively Icelandic volcano has yet to erupt. 
Entering 
The original plan on this trip was to accompany Dr. Stan to 
The menu has remained the same despite the change of ownership. I didn’t recognise any of the Chefs, nor they me. Fisch Chettinad, the Curry I have promoted here for some thirteen years long disappeared from the menu, but remained available on demand. Today, I decided to keep things simple and have Lamb Chettinad Spezialität (scharf) (€15.90) which, being in Europe, comes with inclusive Basmati. Mein Host for the day appeared not to be familiar with this Curry on the menu. A 0.4l glass of Sparkling Water (€3.00) completed the Order.
Fifteen decent-sized, pieces of Lamb were removed from the dark, rich Masala and arranged on top of the Basmati. The Toppings were a threat of Coriander leaves and stems, these were mixed through the Masala before it too was spooned on. It was earlier than the Hector prefers to eat, here goes anyway.
The – kick – from the Masala registered immediately and kept growing. This was a Spicy Curry. The Seasoning was fine, perhaps a tad below the Hector idyll. Whilst the Flavours were powerful, there was nothing South Indian coming across. No smoked Chilli sensation today. The once super-gritty Texture has long gone. 
Visits here have, in the majority, been about Chettinad, therefore too good to miss when Geography limits the number of opperchancities. Later in the menu is Home Made Mutton Curry with Bone (€14.90) and a Fish equivalent for (€14.00). Once again, Fish is cheaper then Meat in Europe. A Desi-style Curry in 
Located a block to the north-west of 
Sources, various:
This is my absolute favorite Indian restaurant in Germany and had a great experience. 
To my left was the inner room with some stunning wall decoration. A large group of Asian diners had this, the rest of us were sat in the entrance room. With Indian staff and Indian customers, all was set up to be … well, we’ll see. 
Drinks were sorted first, a 0.75l bottle of Aqua Morelli Frizzante (€6.50). 
The given descriptions for Lamm Vindaloo (€17.90) and Lamm Bhuna (€17.90) listed standard ingredients, no creamy nonsense. Whether or not – Bhuna – was taken seriously is always a good meter for a first visit to any Curry House. All main courses are served with Salad and Rice. All Bread to be paid for. 
The young chap who appeared to be the head waiter brought his pad and took the Order. I enquired as to Spice Level:
The Salad, more German in style, was deceptive. Beneath the adornments lay a mass of Lettuce, hardly inspiring. With the Rice to one side of the plate, it felt logical to rearrange it. As ever in Europe, there was more Rice than a Hector would manage. 
A Creamy Masala, why? At least it had a decent level of viscosity, but this was hardly – Bhuna Dry. Ginger Strips and Coriander formed part of the elaborate Toppings, these would be mixed through on decanting. The Meat count reached double figures, there was certainly enough. 
The Seasoning registered first then immediately dissipated. In its place was an alien Flavour, not from any Spice listed on the menu, nothing known to the Hector. There was a slight Tang, but no sign of Pickle. The Taste was somewhere between Sour and Bitter, potentially horrible. What on Earth had Chef added to this creation? Vinegar seemed to be a possibility. Allowing myself the benefit of moving forward an hour, the – afterglow – suggested Cabbage. Vinegar and Cabbage, who would ever combine these? 
I tried some of the remaining Masala on its own, the unpleasantness was less apparent, but eating this Curry was certainly going to be a chore. 
Bamberg is for Bier
The charming Hostess directed me to a table in a recess sitting opposite another solo diner who was nearly finished. Having established I was not having Buffet, the extensive menu was provided. A half litre glass of Sprudel (€2.70) was ordered. Sparkling Water is cheaper than Bier, not something to assume in this part of the World. 
Inclusive Rice, in a Euro-Curry House, the karahi was brimming with Basmati. I took a plateful, the rest was discarded, wasted. 
Behold the Soupy Curry. Strips of Onion and Syboes floated on top of the thin, yellow Masala. One piece of Lamb broke through the surface. The absurdity of the moment was duly noted, this was the style of Curry which the Hector avoids at all costs. Add to this the prior acceptance that this interpretation of – Vindaloo – would feature Coconut. No Potato in a Vindaloo? 
Creamy with a kick – was the first tasting note. The Coconut had not overwhelmed. Thankfully, this Curry was not sweet. The lack of complexity was apparent, not the usual array of Spices. However, as I ate on so a level of respect would develop.
Creamy, not too Spicy, Marg would have loved this Curry. How she would have managed the Masala with her customary Chapatti is another issue. This Curry required Rice, mountains of Rice. 
Back to Curry at Himalayan, it was pointed out to me that the locals like to dip their Bread in the Soupy Sauce. This is something I had never considered. I have been given many a shake of the head at home when considering Rice with a Dry Curry. Dry, north Indian/Punjabi Curry requires Bread, Soupy demands Rice. 
As satisfaction was not being achieved on Saturday at 
Those who keep up with these pages, and I thank all who do, even Dr. Stan who sneaks a look especially when he knows he gets a mention, will know that Curry in 
13.00 was the originally declared time for anyone who wanted to join the Hector, Steve considered this to be too early. When he suggested 15.00, Dr. Stan reckoned his vast Frühstuck would be digested by then. We would be three, Steve’s first visit. After last night’s excesses at 
Again leading the way, Dr. Stan had helped himself to a bottle of Mango Lassi, Steve, a can of Fanta. They were sitting at the far end of the spacious room when the Hector arrived at 15.01. Adnan greeted, on 
As expected, my Curry arrived moments after the others’. The Naan was a realistic size, risen, puffy, Poppy Seeds featured to one side. With Karahi it has to be Bread, Rice remains the preference for Desi Korma. As is the European way, a mountain of Rice was presented. It’s amazing how they can serve so much when it’s inclusive, yet at home we pay over the odds, for what? The Hector took a good portion, Dr. Stan proved he could eat even more, Steve didn’t touch his allocation.
Strips of a notional green something or other sat atop the Curry, the karahi was filled to the brim. I stopped counting the Meat at double figures, no frustrating – Tapas – here. At 
Bloody Hell! – entschuldigung.
These were cuts I couldn’t recognise, no Sucky Bones, no Ribs. One bone stood out, Chapatti John may know. Soft, Tender Lamb, full of – Lamby – Flavour, some bits giving more, a couple surprisingly – Dry. Most pieces could be tackled with a fork, I had to resort to using a knife for the final three, then fingers. There’s nothing to beat getting tore in. The Spiciest Korma ever encountered, the Hector was truly stuffed at the end. Bloody Hell – yes I had to say it aloud once more. There were two runny noses, yet there was no duress. This was how to both Spice and Season a Curry.
From across the table was heard a series of – mmmmms – The Good Doctor was sharing the experience. This was only his second visit to 
Having seen his fair share of – kilos – I think Steve was taken aback by the sheer quantity of Meat on the flat karahi. The same green Herb was accompanied by Coriander and a swirl of – Yoghurt? The Dry, Thick and absolutely Minimal Masala shrouded the Lamb. One would need a microscope to find the Oily residue. Despite the lack of bones, this looked magnificent. I shall have to keep this photo to hand and wave it in front of waiters and ask it their Karahi Gosht looks like this, or the plate of 
Steve certainly enjoyed the finest Curry he has ever had in
The Aftermath
A Tapas venue in the West End, here we go again. After the visit to 
Located behind the Three Judges, which itself was formerly The Tower Bar / Bennett’s, the Rickshaw premises appear to be a new build. The Springwell Tavern may well have occupied this site back in the day, others can fill in the last fifty years. 
Arriving at 13.15, the Hector was the first customer of the day, by 14.00 we were nine. The staff outlined the Vegetarian Tiffin (£11.50) and Non-Vegetarian Tiffin (£13.50) to these customers. With – Chicken – as the Meat, Hector had no interest there. 
The charming waitress offered – water for the table. Instead, the order for 330ml of Sparkling Water (£1,95) was placed. A pukka glass, we are in the West End. 
Lamb Handi (£6.95) could be more representative of the Masala served at Rickshaw, a free rein for Chef. To accompany there had to be an Interesting Vegetable. 
Desi Bombay Aloo (£5.95) ticked the box, the humble Potato is often an excellent inclusion in any Curry. 
The food arrived after an appropriate wait. As with 
The Methi Paratha was served in a Tiffin tray, in five pieces. Wholemeal, slightly toasted, there were but flecks of the glorious Herb mixed into the dough. 
The parameters which define a quality Paratha have been written oft: thickness, layering, flakiness, the spiral, buttery, none of these were present. This was not a Paratha as is recognised in Curry-Heute. 
Potato wedges, this was different, sat in the seemingly not Soupy Masala. Finely chopped Onions had been added to the presumably blended Masala. Flecks of Coriander had been stirred in. On transferring to the dinner plate, the Masala did run, so Soupy then. The quantity of Potato justified the price, a decent portion for – Tapas. Finger food, not. 
The Masala appeared to have a better consistency, again finely chopped onions were mixed in. I counted seven, respectably sized, pieces of Meat as I squeezed this Curry on to the empty part of the plate. Avoiding cross contamination was the name of the game. The Handi Masala initially appeared to be darker, on the plate, hard to spot any difference. 
The all important first dip of Paratha into the Bombay Masala revealed no blast of Flavour. Mildly Spiced, was sensed. The receptors awaited, something, anything. The level of Seasoning was approaching the non-existent, ergo what chance the Curry? The Potato had not absorbed Flavour, well what was there to absorb? How long had they been in each others company? The whole point of Potato in Curry appears to have been missed. 
The Wholemeal flour in the Paratha was overwhelming everything else. By abandoning this shockingly poor Paratha, which was already turning crispy, the taste-buds were invigorated. I could taste Lamb Curry! An improvement, but the lack of Seasoning meant there was no way back. 
I have to accept that the Mainstream Curry Houses serve food pitched for the masses, thankfully not everyone knows of Glasgow’s Southside Curry Cafes, oops. I found it hard to believe that what was served today was from a Glasgow Curry House. In Europe, one tends to review from the perspective of the Curry being second division. I do not expect to make this adjustment in my home city. 
A timeous return to a favourite Curry Cafe was required. Marg and Hector arrived at 
Six chaps were feasting at our usual spot, the far corner became ours. Aqeel started to recite our Order as he approached the table, however, I was keen to confirm 
A kilo of Lamb Lahori Karahi (£34.99) it would be. A Roti (£1.50) for Marg, a Till Nan (£2.99) for Hector. For reasons not fully explained, Til Naan was not available, Aqueel promised – something.
Glorious! The mass of Lamb on-the-bone was shrouded in a pulp-like pale Masala, no – Red – here. Coriander Leaves, Green Chillies cut lengthwise, and Ginger Strips were abundant on top. Actual liquid was at an absolute minimum, once settled there proved to be no Oil slick. 
Peppery! This was as close to Namkeen Karahi as one could find without ordering it as such. The Seasoning was astonishing, right up there – brave. Salt and Pepper the fundamental ingredients of this simple Karahi. Simple? I’ve tried, this takes a special skill. Some Green Chillies were consumed, many were abandoned, there was no need to change the nature of what lay before us.
No Sucky Bones, no ribs, from where this Meat came I know not. There was something with the appearance of a Lamb Chop in there. It was evident earlier this year that the actual quality of the cuts has improved since the early days of DumPukht. Nothing – offal – here. Beautiful Lamb, giving back so much, the antithesis of Mainstream Curry. 
Having gone up to enquire about Dessert, Marg returned to the table with the promise of Chai which Aqeel was preparing for – the six. 
I could make out enough of her subsequent Farsi(?) conversation with Aqeel to confirm that she was reporting back. 
Amit Sharma @ The Lansdowne (7A Lansdowne Crescent, Glasgow G20 6NQ), is one of three Curry Houses north of the river which Hector has 
Various menus were provided, wine dismissed, as was the Saturday & Sunday lunch (£16.00) offer. Street Food / Tapas – featured prominently in the main menu, not why I was here. Two sections featured Curry of interest: Fish & Seafood, Some Old Glasgow Favourites. Boatman Fish Curry (£16.00) is one for another day. South Indian Ginger Lamb (£14.00) should guarantee the avoidance of both Chicken and 
To accompany, Rice, to be discussed. Wonderful as they might be, the Hector was not paying £4.25 for a Malabar Parantha. Such is the price of Bier, I wonder how many people come here for nibbles and stay on for the evening? Maybe I just don’t understand the setup. 
For Hector, a large bottle of Sparkling Water (£4.25). The Order was relayed, I enquired about the Rice. Basmati, Fried and Lemon & Cashew a la 
How to get some photos? The chap behind the bar acknowledged as I took the broad shot. The Rogues’ Gallery did not feature any recognisable faces. Hector knows no rogues? 
Just how many does The Lansdowne seat? This place is spacious, enormous. 
The sliced Red Chillies were different, the distinctive aroma of South Indian Curry was already wafting towards the Hector receptors. It all looks a bit – lonely. The plate resembled a flat karahi. The area was such that the Masala spread thinly across the base. Had this Curry been served in a more standard karahi/handi then it most certainly would have appeared to be – Soupy. Without the dinner plate, adding the Rice here would have been a major negative. Adding Rice to Curry is a – no-no. 
I counted to nine as I arranged the decent sized pieces of Lamb on the Rice. As is the custom, some of the Masala was retained for the end game. Before me sat a potentially worthy meal. Meat and Masala, maybe I was already wishing there was an Interesting Vegetable in there. 
The plate was cleared, every grain of Rice managed, a Curry to be enjoyed, however, it would be remiss not to state that the Flavours here were not as intense as those found in other venues serving South Indian Curry, north of the River Clyde e.g. 
