On a certain day at the end of April, the Hector celebrated a Big Birthday. Colin and Margaret, who had travelled from the far east to be there, suggested a meet up for Bier & Curry in the Capital. Colin hardly drinks anything which could be regarded as contemporary Bier, Margaret rarely has Curry. Peebles used to have a decent Curry House located on the bridge over the River Tweed, it’s decades since I dined there.
Rustom Restaurant (2 Grosvenor St, Edinburgh EH12 5EG) was chosen by Hector, something foreverybody. As I explained to Colin, one of the handful of Lahori/Punjabi Curry Houses in the east, proper Curry, Not that they would be ordering anything exotic.
Apart from a lady waiting for a large Takeaway, Rustom was empty when we entered at 16.45. We were shown to the right, the far window table had yet to be set up, a booking. By the time we departed, this side of the restaurant was close to wedged.
Sunni, Mein Host, came over to the table to greet, a handshake. Ajeet, who served Marg, Hector plus others last year, name badge prominently worn on his uniform, recalled:
I remember serving you. Do you see a change in me?
You haven’t changed your shirt.
I read your Blog, very detailed.
If you fart or sneeze, I write it down.
And thus it was established that Hector is known here, Curry-Heute has a following, and the opperchancity to mention a certain interview with The Glasgow Bell last year, was an open goal.
Abundant, cool, fresh Scottish water, from a tap, potable, clear, tasteless, no more of that nonsense served last week in West Sussex. Ajeet almost congratulated us for being abstemious.
Meanwhile, the lady who had ordered the Takeaway was still sitting in the centre of the room, food piled around her, in no hurry to depart. A glance outside, the heavens had opened, no hosepipe ban in Edinburgh. Is this why so many decided it was Curry o’clock?
Having had enough time to study the menu, a young waitress took the Order, we played the Poppadom game, she had to have the rules explained. No Poppadoms were forthcoming, even when Ajeet joined in.
Marg and Hector would share the kilo: Namak Mandi (£34.95), with a Chapati (£2.95) and a Nan (£3.50) to accompany. In recent years, the kilo has only been attempted with three mouths, but hey-ho, someone might help us out.
Although intrigued by what Marg and Hector had ordered, Colin – could not see past – Chicken Pathia (£12.95), Pineapple Chicken (£12.95) for Margaret.
Colin and Margaret would share a portion of Pulao (£3.95) and a further Chapatti.
Expensive Chapattis, and Chapatti John has been here, though he did rein it in to three.
Where have you been? – asked Sunni.
A brief résumé of my recent Curry travels was delivered: Crawley, Canterbury, Whitechapel. This led to the matter of the never ending search for the Desi Qorma.
Phone me, give me ninety minutes.
There’s a challenge the Hector hopes to set one day.
Back in the corner, the booked table was now occupied, a high chair positioned as close to Hector’s seat as could only occur in a bad dream. No repeat of Saturday’s debacle: hardly a peep, no disruption. Proof that weans can behave in public, if properly trained. It’s all down to parenting, writes the retired teacher.
At 17.25, Ajeet brought the food, a realistic period of time for the Karahi Gosht to be prepared. the removal of the lids, the unveiling of the fayre, prolonging the suspense. First, the Sundries.
The Naan was served whole, had risen, and featured puffy blisters, burnt ones too. The teardrop, a proper Tandoori Naan, everything the Hector seeks. Alas, a Wholemeal Chapatti is what the Hector avoids, they appear to be popping up everywhere. Marg likes them, for Hector, let’s keep the traditional white/thin Chapattis, still available, and often served in multiples of three per diner (!), as part of the meal, in Bradford Curry Houses.
Colin and Margaret shared the Rice. Mid meal, Colin called for another portion. Hector was amused. Who were these Euro-diners who sought more Rice? In all these years, I cannot recall anyone asking for more Rice. German Curry Houses would love them.
In the parallel universe in which the Hector now found himself: Curry-Heute presents – Pineapple Chicken. Hopefully this spurious Curry makes its first, and last, appearance in these pages.
Pineapple Chicken
No Toppings, fresh Coriander and/or Ginger Strips would probably stir apoplexy in anyone who ordered this dubious creation. One may suppose that little to no Spice was harmed in the creation of this – Curry.
At least Chef appeared to have taken it seriously, the Masala had a visible viscosity. In lesser establishments, I have witnessed much Soupier examples. We can all imagine what this Curry tasted like, the Pineapple, it’s distinctive, slightly bitter fruitiness, the Chicken, as bland as it would be in any other so-called Chicken Curry.
Chicken Pathia
Lamb Pathia at Rustom featured in Curry-Heute last year, expressions such as – best Patia I’ve ever had – were reported. In the privacy of his own home, Hector cooks and even enjoys the occasional Patia, but somewhat ironically, has deduced that Lamb is too rich for this Curry. Chicken is actually better, though Mixed Vegetables could trump that. I had to tell Colin that an efficacious recipe for Patia is posted above, or even here. Not that I recall ever seeing Colin in a kitchen.
Some words relayed afterwards by Colin:
The Chicken Patia was an excellent combination of succulent chicken and a rich sweet sauce. The Pineapple Chicken was enjoyed by the non Curry eater, who loved the coconut sauce that accompanied it.
Namak Mandi
Namak Mandi, not just an Afghani restaurant in Glasgow, it translates as – salt market. I had ordered this version as being closest to Marg’s favourite – Namkeen (salt) Karahi.
Suitably adorned with Coriander, Ginger Strips and sliced Bullet Chillies, my first reaction – this is a kilo? Marg and Hector would certainly manage this quantity, especially after Soupçon went left.
No surplus Oil, nothing – red – here, but not as – grey – as a Namkeen Karahi which is just Salt, Pepper, Chillies. The Tomato-based Masala, proportionally Minimal as it must be: thick, viscous, simple, and oh so tasty. The Seasoning was rich, the Spice Level, Chillies aside, hardly testing. Colin accepted that this was within his level of tolerance. Only a Caspar Milquetoast should fear a Karahi Gosht.
Some pieces of Meat were under-Seasoned, the majority had absorbed the Flavours of the Masala, thus fine. Marg, somewhat cleverly, goes for any boneless pieces of Meat, Hector enjoys gnawing at the bones, Bateera this was not.
Mopping up the Masala with the Naan, devouring the finger-licking Lamb, Ajeet brought more napkins, we both became aware of how little actual eating there was. 
This was compounded by the quantity of Fat attached to the Meat. Marg will not touch Fat, Hector doesn’t mind the occasional traces, but today’s offering was getting out of hand. £34.95 is still competitive across the land for the kilo, but a kilo of what? So many Bones, way too much Fat.
Each year, from the Curry Cafes of Psiri (Athena, Hellas), I post comparable quantities of Karahi on offer at €10.00. In Greece, the quality of Mutton is inferior to that expected at home, after all, we have Scottish Lamb. Which cuts were set before us today?
Marg – Hector and I were sharing the kilo of lamb on the bone. The Namak Mandy arrived in the karahi dish. There was very little sauce, but we were expecting this. I enjoyed the burst of flavours from my first mouthful of lamb, and continued to eat the pieces with my fingers and chapatti. I did however find that some of the meat was fairly fatty, and not as tender as I expected. We finished the dish and scraped it clean.
Indeed, as well-wiped a karahi as one could leave. The scrap of leftover Naan confirms the Hector ate way more Bread than is his custom. One usually feels stuffed after a kilo, particularly when there are only two mouths. Marg admitted, that she could have eaten more.
On clearing the table, the waitress asked the customary question.
Too much fatty meat, I have left some on the side to highlight this.
The Bill
£78.15, at the second attempt. The extra Rice, ordered mid meal, had evidently created confusion. Extra Rice, twice? Only in Euroland.
The Aftermath
As we departed, Sunni confirmed his offer to cook a Desi Qorma, but qualified this as Chicken. Hector regards Lamb Desi Qorma as the ultimate Curry, and has only ever had a Chicken Desi Qorma once in his entire lifetime. For the record, that was the most recent one, had at Punjabi Zaiqa (Berlin).